I remember sitting across from my mother and her friend at lunch exactly seven years ago in a state of bliss. Despite what had erupted the past year in my marriage, I had a deep seeded knowing that I was supposed to persevere. I recall them looking at me in awe and a little annoyance, as my glossy eyes and confident energy exclaimed that while David and I were undergoing an extremely dark period, our life chapter wasn’t over, yet.…
February 15, 2023 In the last several years practicing meditation, I learned how to still my mind. In that silence, I started to observe patterns in me and around me. I noticed repetitive words. I heard messages in people’s silence. I witnessed actions – consistency, contradictions and how we cared and uncared for things around us. I saw the monotonous existence I played daily…how we either live robotically reacting to the world or consciously acting with intention and purpose. I…
Months ago I sat in my office midday, feeling despair, disconnection and division after (another) explosive argument with my husband. In my grief, I took out a piece of paper and wrote two letters. With my head on the desk and a puddle of tears beneath my cheeks, I wrote one letter to my deceased mother. I told her how much I missed her and needed her in that moment as I asked for guidance, support and faith. The second…
Last year I let go of a lot of things in my life. In fact, “letting go” has been a big part of my mantra both then and now. So I started letting go last year. I let go of expectations, not just of my partner but also what I tried to hold together. I let go of the idea that I needed to predict the future…that my sense of worth was tied to what a being saw in me.…
My mother passed away on October 15 2021. The day started unusually usual. My husband surprisingly agreed to run three miles with me at 6am. I twisted my ankle on an acorn. I worked. I attended a meeting at a carehome. I picked up my niece from school for the first time and we had vegan ice cream and walked the shops. I dropped into Ulta, where my stepdaughter was getting her haircut. At around 4pm I received a call…
September 6, 2021 In the last year of not being able to travel outward, David and I have been journeying inward. It started with a plant medicine retreat for his birthday, followed by a Dr. Joe Dispenza retreat for mine. David partook in a breathwork class, even expressing one day he’d like to be certified. We started uncovering our hidden traumas and cyclical life patterns that prevented us from loving ourselves and truly becoming our best selves. We saw how…
I will be honest.I was never quite sure if I was meant to be with this man.I struggled for a long time with truly respecting him as a father, a husband and a leader in our family. I was critical. I was sometimes condescending. I’m not proud of it – and to be honest, much of it stemmed from my belief that he devalued me and my essential role in our family unit. It wasn’t so much his perspective of…
I’m going to take you through this Valentine’s Day that was disrupted with me walking out of a nice, fancy lunch date – to me, walking barefoot in a random park. I don’t normally make this day a big deal, but when I was told I was given just one hour after a phone meeting and before a conference call, to spend time with the hubster, I wasn’t happy. I planned our lunch date. “This is a…
Dear Husband, Valentine’s Day is here💌. Before you run out – or not – to express your love for me on this single day, here are my thoughts… If you get me nothing I’m not mad, if you get me something I won’t reject it – but if you don’t ever get me anything, then we have a problem… Keep in mind on any given day, you can get me…..my phone when I leave it in the…
I didn’t want to bake my husband a birthday cake. We were a few days deep into a serious argument and my stubbornness wouldn’t let up. I was pissed. For the last several months I felt overworked, underappreciated and overlooked. I felt I wasn’t a high priority in his life and our family tasks weren’t equally shared. I fell back into my old feelings of resentment and desire for emotional independence. It’s been three years since I filed marital separation…