October 15, 2012

I’ve always tested how much stuff I can get done in a short amount of time.

It was 8:33am on Sunday morning when I last tested my super-human powers to complete 10 tasks in a five minute timeframe. I was still fresh-faced in my pajamas feeding the boys and still indecisive whether I wanted (or could) attend church at 9:00am. As I fed the baby I kept doing the math: we normally needed to leave by 8:40am to bring the boys to their Kinderchurch because they close doors firmly at 9:00am. This past Sunday was also important because their Kinderchurch was hosting a donation for baby items and two packages of diapers were already ready for delivery in my car.

I was already fatigued from staying out late the night prior for my girlfriend’s 30^th birthday. My husband was still asleep. I volunteered my house (and my cooking) for a family gathering later that day at noon. I still needed to buy groceries and clean the house. There were 3 loads of laundry lying in the guest bedroom and I now had 6 more minutes to make a decision.

Can I get these kids (and myself) ready for church in 5 minutes?

I began to move with speed and focus. I ordered my husband to wake up and swiftly took out the boy’s church clothes out for him to put on. I began to brush my teeth while rushing to each room to fix everyone’s bed (this is a pet peeve of mine – it doesn’t matter how rushed I am, if I see a messy bed, my first instinct is to fix it). I changed my clothes, loaded the diaper bag, put on the boys shoes, packed snacks and placed all 3 of them into the car. We surprisingly didn’t hit any stoplights on the 7-mile drive to our church. This was a good and bad thing as I had a limited amount of time to apply my makeup, which usually consists of mascara, liner, blush and gloss. We miraculously made it to church by 8:55am.

Immediately after mass, I went grocery shopping, made it home at 11:00am and began to cook an entire Mexican meal complete with homemade Spanish rice, guacamole and zucchini brownies for dessert. By the time my family arrived I was pooped.

My husband laughingly compares me to the little white rabbit in Alice of Wonderland. I often say, “We’re late, we’re late!” haha! This routine is nothing new as I have always been one to cram a million things into minutes. People often ask, “How do you do it all?”  While the routine answer is, “I set a goal, I plan and I execute with extreme focus…”

…the real answer is, I don’t do it all. I can’t do it all.  Sometimes I  hurriedly get things done to the point that the end result is inaccurate, late, burnt or incomplete.

I’m no superwoman.

I wish I was more detail-oriented. I’m not a good operator. I love/hate routine. I want to cry when I look at paperwork. I often turn writing assignments in right at the stroke of midnight of its due date.  I’m often 5-10 minutes late for any appointment. I get anxious easily. I break out in hives when I’m stressed. I’m impatient.  I am highly-sensitized. I can’t stand sitting in front of the computer for long durations, driving in the car with continuous music or the sound of the humidifier my husband enjoys using…constantly!

Oh dear. I had to pause for a minute wondering if I signed up for snack day for Christian’s preschool tomorrow? I can’t believe we’re already half way through October!

Life is hectic. It’s crazy – but the beauty of my life today is realizing that I’m not perfect…that it’s funny to be seen as ‘superwoman’ when to me, it’s obvious I’m not.  

I’m a very transparent human being. For over 7 years, readers have watched me strive, succeed and stumble professionally, personally and physically every week. In these weekly reflections I aim to do better, be better and exist better because I know myself more intimately through introspection.

It’s so easy to look at anyone and overlook the true depth of a person. I’m not a supermom; I’m a person in progress.