Last Monday, I received a call from my surgeon’s nurse that a cancellation popped up and asked if I wanted to take it. I’ve been waiting for weeks for a scheduled ileostomy reversal as I’ve been feeling pain at the resectioned area of my colon for some time. I thought it was because of the trauma of the surgery or even phantom digestive pains. I emailed my doctor several times requesting a surgical date and when the opportunity came, I…
Anything than can break someone, tried to break me the last three years. My mother died. My brother died. I broke my arm. I underwent divorce. I was diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer. My…
I had my tumor removal surgery on December 20, 2024. It was all quite surreal. It was a typical Friday, I prepped my belongings after dropping the kids to school. My dad arrived at…
When my mother died, she opened a portal in me. It felt like I followed her into the dark, seeking spiritual truths and recreating a life that was authentically my own. Ever since I…
On September 18th, as I was meditating, I heard the words, “Your tumor is shrinking.” While I was mildly nauseous from having completed one chemo cycle, I understood immediately that the spiritual shifts I…
Weeks following my last doctor’s appointment, I underwent deep, emotional, debilitating pain that traveled throughout my head, heart and body. As much as I tried to combat the emotions filtering through me, I could…
Let me set the stage for you… It is 2022. I start emailing my doctor about re-occurring health issues. In June I notice extreme dryness around my lips, followed by full blown eczema on…
My unblemished, toned and picture-perfect midsection, is now scarred with a stoma protruding outside my skin and a large, dark seemingly permanent circle where the adhesive to my colostomy bag sticks. Daily, the skin…
“I don’t want to hate this person.” I cried to Brian on a random Tuesday. The day was like any day. I woke early to drop my son to a volunteer program, worked out,…
There were moments in my life when I’ve had very hard conversations with people. It’s the kind when you say something you know to be your truth knowing it won’t be received…
June 10, 2024 A part of my healing process is asking myself daily, “Why do I want to live?” It wasn’t enough to recite normal answers…my kids, my family, blah, blah blah. Yes. I…
I am not the same person who was diagnosed eight months ago. When being told you have Stage IV cancer, it’s not something you process in one day. You notice everything. You…
Our divorce was finalized a year ago on May 1, 2023. Exactly one year prior, David “coincidentally” wrote me a letter on 5/1/22 that forever changed our lives. We had been struggling with connection…
March 16, 2024 “You need to fight, Maria,” said my girlfriend tearfully as she took tea bags and snacks out of her purse. I told her I was ok, but she insisted on visiting…
A couple weeks after the cancer diagnosis, I was on a plane to Costa Rica for an Ayahuasca journey I scheduled months beforehand. Originally, I booked this trip to support a friend and felt…
Last Friday I woke up at 4am to a gnawing pain in my lower abdomen. I’ve underwent a lot of tummy pain recently and just had a colonoscopy for low iron and internal bleeding.…
I remember sitting across from my mother and her friend at lunch exactly seven years ago in a state of bliss. Despite what had erupted the past year in my marriage, I had a…