unpredictable revelations

August 20, 2007

August 14, 2007

As I warmly greeted my sister Christine as she arrived at Angels birthday
party Saturday night, it took me approximately .067 seconds to notice
the diamond rock
on her left hand.  My sisters engaged! Actually, allow me to re-phrase that, my younger sister is engaged.

Most people in my past and especially former boyfriends are stunned
when I reveal that Im still not hitched. Interesting since I always
imagined being a young mother and wife. However, my childhood visions
were always coupled with independence, ambition, travel and freedom.
The adventurous side of my psyche took over at about the age of 14, and
while Ive created better circumstances/opportunities for marriage, the adventurous child has still not left my spirit.

While it appears that I’m very plan-full, I have to admit that I am certainly not a winner when it comes to achieving life goals in a timely manner.  For example,

  1. I had hoped/planned to be married by/at 27
  2. I didn’t intend to make fitness my career. (nor did I study it in college)
  3. I thought Id work with 24hour fitness at some degree until I retired.
  4. I never planned to move back to Sacramento, especially in my 20’s.
  5. I made a goal to compete somewhere between 2004-2006, but didnt.
  6. I
    said I would drink a protein shake at 5 today, but instead, I just had
    a salad and some bran cereal! (I will drink my 2nd one tonight)
  7. Last
    year, I thought Id create a nonprofit called, Life Tribute. This year
    I am founding a NPO called, Fitness without Borders
  8. I
    never in my wildest dreams thought Id have an online journaland when
    I created it, I didnt plan for it to be still active today.

Things we want to achieve are still achieved, but they present themselves by a different symbol.  Since
I was little, Ive wanted to share intimacy with the world, feel part
of a larger working process, be close to my family, compete with myself
and contribute to society. All my life goals are represented through a
physical target and while I don’t hit that target, it doesn’t mean
that I didn’t complete the original goal. I am still in the
process of completing life objectives, but they are continuously
manifesting inside different, ‘un-planned’ symbols.

When I say my prayers each morning, I don’t ask God for specific people
or things. I ask to be presented tools and teachers (who are often
disguised) and I pray for intuition to see love, beauty and wisdom each
presents towards his promised cause. Whatever good and bad experiences
I face, whoever I meet, wherever I go I know that this is a
synchronistic journey I am destined to learn, grow and mature from.

Creating goals, especially ones attached to a timeframe can be disappointing. In
my young lifetime, my constant ambitions have created many
There are men I had envisioned marrying. There are jobs I had hoped to keep. There are competitions I had desired to win

And while it didn’t come to fruition, there is a sacred reason why it
didn’t.  Everything reveals itself at the right moment and in the
correct timing.

Timing is something we absolutely have no control over. It is this
thought that keeps me humble when I envy my sisters engagement ring
and struggle while building a new nonprofit organization.

Ideas, actions and intentions house and bring life the symbols we see
daily.  Maturity, wisdom, preparation and faith illuminate the symbols
we do not yet see.but will eventually see, once we are ready to
receive that gift.

Have a blessed week everyone!