“What’s your Excuse?” was created for readers of my Facebook fanpage. I’ve had an online following since 2005, so I was very used to ‘putting myself out there’. I thought the caption was fitting since I often saw posters of grandmothers running in marathons, paraplegics competing in the Olympics and even a father performing a pull up with three kids in tow – all with the same caption: “What’s your Excuse?”
I felt that if others can overcome incredible challenges to be in shape, why would my story be any different?
Boy was I surprised with the overwhelming response I received. I would say 80% was good and 20% was negative. I created this “Frequently Asked Comments” section to clear the air on all the ‘excuses’ people were giving me for the reasons behind my success (and possibly their failure).
1) Do you work?
I am self-employed. I own two six-bedroom residential care homes for the elderly. Caring for elders in their last living years is an honor and another passion of mine. Residents are much like family, for they have witnessed every pregnancy and every new arrival. I have witnessed them laugh, eventually decline and am sometimes present at their death bed. Being self-employed provides flexible hours, however, it also means I could be up at 2am or often working during the weekends.
I also founded a nonprofit, Fitness without Borders, which has several programs. Since this is entirely a volunteer-based role, my work is dependent on funding and active programs. We’ve been blessed to received a 50k grant through the Mercy Foundation, generous donations from The Hilton Foundation and a recent 20k grant from Axe Body spray. Right now, (Oct 2012) I am creating marketing documents for our upcoming Transformation Parent/Child Bootcamp in January. I am also establishing relations in different communities and hiring fitness coordinators to run the camps.
My latest project has been the No Excuse Mom Movement (www.noexcusemom.com) where moms worldwide are saying ‘no excuses!’ and establishing hundreds of free workout groups in their local parks/community centers/gyms. In just a couple months there are already over 700 locations and 23 countries on board.
Lastly, I am also a freelance writer. Besides what is seen online, I also freelance for magazines and newspapers. Normally I have just 2 articles a month, so it’s not too overwhelming, but it certainly takes a piece of the ‘time pie’ when I get really busy.
So do I work? YES. I work a lot. I’m a self-professed work-a-holic and rarely read or watch anything that is outside my work. A lot of my work is in management of other people, creating systems and marketing my business’.
2) It’s photoshopped!
We live in a photo-shopped world, so I’m not offended by this comment. My photographer, Mike Byerly, takes amazing images and was able to capture me and my family accurately. You can see an image of a candid shot taken from my camera the day of the shoot here.
3) Are you in your twenties?
I definitely agree that being young assists in pregnancy weight loss, but while I look like I could be in my mid-twenties, I gave birth when I was 29, 30 and 31.
4) Do you have amazing genetics?
My mother has struggled with weight her entire life and when I was little (growing up and comparing my body to my 2 younger sisters) it seemed my bone and body structure was more favorable to my mom’s genetics. This realization made me aware of my food intake and activity output at a young age. I saw first-hand how difficult it was to deal with diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure and kidney failure. However, let’s say I did have great genetics, I’ve always believed 30% of your body is genetic and the rest is environment. The majority of my success is based on my lifestyle.
5) I can’t believe you don’t have stretchmarks!
I have stretchmarks. They are faint and only on my left side. You can usually see them in person or when taking close photographs. I have found that they look less visible when there is a tight muscle underneath the skin.
6) How do you find the time to workout all day?
I don’t workout all day. I work out for 30-60 minutes sometimes in the morning or in the evening when I have my husbands assistance or can utilize the gym’s daycare. (although, after enduring a long day it’s often difficult to workout in the evening) I believe it’s a huge myth that you need to workout for several hours in a day to gain results. What’s most important is the intensity of your workout and what you also do throughout your day. Besides working out, I am chasing after my kids, taking them to the park, carrying them up and down stairs and loading them in and out of my car!
7) Do you have a nanny?
No. I would love one, but I go through guilt when I’m not with my children, which leads to the next question….
8) You must be a bad mom because you would rather workout than be with your kids.
This is the most ignorant comment I’ve read. As I already explained in #6, you don’t have to workout all day. You just need to carve out 30-60 minutes of intense training in your day. I’m not missing anything when they’re sleeping. I’m also not missing anything when I’m taking them to the park and performing lunges, burpees or jumping rope while watching them play. (yes, incorporating fitness is really that simple) I’m not angry at these moms who choose to use this ‘excuse’ and condemn me becomes moms have a tendency to be self-sacrificing. There’s a lot of guilt in doing things for yourself when you become a mom, I know because I also go through it!
But I know when I’m the best mom to my children – and that’s usually when I’m able to take care of myself also. Having been a child of an overweight mother was a very tough experience. I dedicated my profession towards helping others because I didn’t want others to suffer from the pain poor health creates. Her health has limited her activities with me, my children and important events. This resentment I’ve held towards her (for not taking care of herself) came to its peak when my mother was admitted to the hospital the day of my wedding. As a result of my mother’s poor health, I didn’t have my mother or father (except to walk me down the aisle) present on the ‘biggest’ day of my life. It was a very emotionally challenging experience that I hope others won’t also have to experience.
Lastly, people often use lack of time as an excuse when it comes to weight loss. The truth is, is that it’s mostly diet. I don’t finish my son’s peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, I don’t eat ice cream when it’s hot or indulge in chocolate when I’m stressed. I have a very clean diet and THAT is my biggest weapon in my arsenal.
9) Did you nurse?
I nursed anywhere between 3-6 months with my children. My supply has always been challenging, but coupling that with work and other children made the stress of nursing incredibly hard. I wish I was that mom who nursed until her child was 2.
10) Did you have natural births or a c-section?
I have had all natural births. I was surprised to read about those who struggled with weight gain because of their c-sections because many of my girlfriends (with c-sections) were able to become fit within a year after pregnancy despite it taking a few weeks longer for them to recover. All my pregnancies, however, were high-risk as I have a blood disorder called Von Willebrand’s – a disorder that prevents me from clotting effectively. As a result I developed a hematoma the size of a football after my first labor, resulting in an emergency surgery, blood transfusions and a painful recovery. My second labor went more smoothly, but I was transferred to the ICU when my electrolytes dipped dangerously low after my blood clotting meds were halted. Every women’s story is different – some more difficult than others – the most important thing is that we all prevail.
11) You look Asian, that means you have a small body frame and can ‘snap’ back into shape.
As I stated in #4, I do believe genetics is 30% part of the success equation. While this seems like an absurd comment, I understand why people feel that way as Asians generally are not overweight. However, I live in America, Sacramento to be exact and the Asians here are not that skinny. I am almost 5’4, I weigh 125lbs, but prior to my first pregnancy I weighed nearly 145lbs and my weight peaked at 175lbs pregnant.
12) It must be easier for you because you are a personal trainer. It’s your job to be fit!
I was briefly a personal trainer from 2000-2003. After that I worked in management, marketing and project work. This statement is half-true in the sense that yes, I have a background in fitness. It did make losing weight easier because I was educated in nutrition and fitness. I also had an online following, which made me want to excel as role model. It’s important to note that I purposely created an environment for a fit life. I always knew I wanted to be a fit mother, so I created expectations for myself and ensured I had the right know-how to be who I wanted to become. Anyone else can create these same environments also – if you put yourself out there as a healthy role model, people will expect more from you and encourage/force you to succeed.
13) Aren’t you a fitness model?
No. I am not a fitness model. Anything printed has been requested by a friend or a magazine profiling me as a fitness role model.
14) You must have been fit before you were pregnant.
I was fit and varying degrees in all my three pregnancies. In my first pregnancy I already considered myself 20 pounds overweight. (I think most moms say this) Thankfully, I lost the weight and more before conceiving my 2nd son. Being generally fit before pregnancy is the biggest influence on how you will look within the year after giving birth so my recommendation for all moms is to be fit before getting pregnant. You can read my fitness journals here.
15) It’s bad for your body to have kids so close together.
I had children close in age because I come from a family of 4 children all one year apart. I really enjoyed my experience growing up and never felt sibling rivalry or competitiveness (as I’ve seen so many other siblings go through). We grew up together and I wanted the same experience for my sons. I think they will LOVE growing up together. In regards to having children back-to-back being bad for your body? I can see the point, but I also believe everything is very individual and as you can see, it didn’t hurt my body.
16) Are those your kids? They all look different.
I have to say this is the funniest comment I’ve read. Of course, my children look like both the mother and father. I am half Malaysian Chinese and Filipina. My husband is a Caucasian mix of German, French, Norweigan and Spanish. They are all my kids and you can read my 3 year old, Christian’s Birthday story, my 2 year old, Nicholas’ Birthday story and my 9 month old, Gabriel’s Birthday story on my website, Mariakang.com.
17) How did you lose weight?
Losing weight is a science. It’s a combination of exercise, diet, rest and prayer (for me). Prayer is about affirming the person you would like to become and asking for a higher source to give you strength in your journey.
18) I hate images like this. It creates unrealistic expectations for mothers.
Every woman is different and my intention was not to ask, “What’s your Excuse for not looking like me?” My intention was to imply, “What’s your Excuse for not exercising?” However you interpret the message is dependent on your emotional state when you read the caption.
I definitely agree that my results are not normal. At the same time, being ‘fit’ is no longer normal in society. 1/3 of Americans are obese and over half are overweight. So of course it’s not realistic for the ‘average’ person to be fit after pregnancy because usually they are not fit before pregnancy. If you take care of yourself, exercise and eat the correct foods, then my results can be normal for you too! There’s nothing wrong with being fit. It’s good for you, your family and your wallet towards the end of your life.
19) You must be rich
I consider myself middle-class. I work, I save and I invest. I don’t spend money on the newest phone, latest car model or newest fashions. I have a very simple way of living, eating and existing. It doesn’t take much to be in good shape – all it takes is an incredible will to set higher expectations for yourself.
20) You had an eating disorder and you are promoting images that caused you to be Bulimic!
I have my own views about eating disorders that are outside the obvious excuses. I believe it’s a manifestation of a spiritual challenge a person is undergoing. I was a perfectionist at a young age and was experiencing several changes in my life when I ‘lost control’ over my eating habits. I graduated college, moved to a big city, changed jobs, broke up with my boyfriend and became lost by all these transitions. I felt a need to ‘control’ something in my life and I chose a ‘good drug’, which was food and the happy hormones experienced after you vomit. (sorry if I am too graphic) There were several things that triggered a Bulimic episode, sometimes it was seeing my ex, visiting home or having anxiety from thinking too much. My point is, is that how I interpreted persons, images and things was dependent on my emotional state. I could see anything and say it intensified my Bulimia. The true blame was what was going on internally.
I am not a stick-thin person. I don’t have bulging muscles or incredibly low body fat. I am a healthy mom – and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with how my body manifests from proper diet and exercise.
21) How did you do it?
Surprisingly (and unfortunately), this question didn’t come up a lot. So I won’t answer it in the FAC’s, you can check out my fitness journals here.
22) Good for you, but I have …..
For those of you who have legitimate excuse then that’s your excuse! I’m not saying there isn’t one. I’m saying that for the majority of people out there who use multiple kids (or just one), a job, lack of time, lack of support – as an excuse, then maybe you can take my story and my image and use that as a source of inspiration.
That is all. Thanks for reading. Follow me on Facebook here.
What did you used for your stretchmarks ?:)
They aren’t very apparent, especially when my muscles are formed underneath the skin. Time lightens up the stretchmarks and I found that tanning also decreases its appearance.
All I have say very firm Maria your outrageously and heavenly correct about those negative people.
Why as an ethnic woman would you tan? Is that added to the time your kids are asleep or the hour you workout? I’m Caucasian and I’ve tanned before.
Maria…. am super-motivated by ur story. Am not married and I do not have kids and I have been struggling with my weight. The truth is, we can afford to live in self-denials. we keep saying we don’t eat much, we don’t have time, we are genetically-compromised. But, I did cambridge diet for 2 months and lost 33 lbs and I have finally realized that we are what we eat. Am working on having a healthy lifestyle. Kudos to u. And, yes, no excuses for not keeping fit. there are workouts for health and physically_challenged people.
YOu are very inspirational. I am also a blogger in my country and many moms come to my site to be inspired and I have to go to you to get inspired :))) I also receive very funny (stupid) questions… this is such a crazy world 😀
Maria, I keep my fingers crossed for you, keep up the great work you do, I know myself it is not always easy but but it all really pays off, right? :)) Never evr let anyone tell you what to do, how to live and what is right for you and your kids. You have a beautiful family and you are my star :))) Greetings from the Czech Republic ;)) Nikki
Thanks so much Nikki! I really appreciate kind and encouraging words from another blogger! I wish I could read your blog, but I only read English. LOL
I think your awesome!!! And you shouldnt have to explain yourself although i can understand why you did.
Maria, You really are amazing. There are so many people out there who are insecure about their own lives that when they see someone who is doing or has accomplished what they haven’t – they lash out with all kinds of accusations.
I want to thank you for all your inspirational information. After going through a marriage breakdown after my first son and then a few years later after having my second son, truth be told I haven’t put a lot of energy into being the best, healthy mum I can be, but since Dec 2012 I have been on a health transformation – still in the early stages but I am confidant that I can reach my goals. And your website and Facebook page is just more inspiration for me.
Thanks so much Katie. I’m so happy for you in this journey. Let me know if you ever have any questions or need support.
Dear Maria, did you give breast feeding to all your baby ? As you baby is only 1 years different ages. I have 3 boys (15,12 and 3 years old) i am doing Yoga 3 times a week… I stop giving breast feeding 1 years ago….
When i had 2 boys my weight only 50kg and 172 cm tall.
I just want to know are you give breast feeding ? So far i know is kind difficult to lose weight when you give breast feeding…. Thanks
Hi there, I desire to subscribe for this web site to take latest updates, so where can
i do it please assist.
Could you email me an example of what you eat in a typical day?
More power to you Maria. Don’t apologize because of others’ insecurities. I’m Filipino too so more power to you!
What an inspirational story, I look forward to seeing you on television when you have your own show !
Maria, I think you are fabulous. Shame Shame on all the JEALOUSY. You are very inspiring and your children are beautiful. I am 60, used to be athletic, now am suffering from many ailments…can’t do much anymore…But I had a great physical life…keep up the good work.
Curious why you need to depict yourself as an “Asian Fitness Mom”. One would imagine you’re a fitness mom, first and foremost. That you’re Asian? It’s pretty incidental.
Or, is it because you know that it raises the level of salaciousness and “exoticness” to note that things are “Asian”? That you’re selling a brand of media that fetishizes Asian women and leads young men – much like the ones you will be raising in just a few years – to see Asian women as objects, rather than people?
Or is it that you’re trying to cover up for some Filipina shame by overly selling something that has little bearing on your message? I’d say a little from all of the above.
Stop whoring your race… it doesn’t look good on you.
hey dom, she’s just stating facts.
she’s asian. she’s into fitness. she’s a mom. now tell me, wouldn’t it be correct to say that i could simplify all of those statements by saying she’s an “asian fitness mom”? or am i wrong?
maybe you have something against asians, moms, and fit people; maybe it’s just something against asians. maybe you were turned down by someone of asian descent and now they’re all “objects, rather than people”. don’t turn your personal issues of a certain race against people of that race. all you’re doing is making yourself sound like a close-minded racist.
“J”, COULD NOT SAY IT BETTER MYSELF!
Dom, how is the ulcer in your stomach?
Sorry there is no cure for it.
No words you use can cover up the fact that you are a pitiful, miserable human being.
Start from within, you still have a chance to save yourself.
Jealous much..or is it racism?
Charli, probably both………………………..!
Dom Calamari.. this is ridiclous and should be lost in the internet world..lol I don’t see your point AT ALL!!
I am very proud of you to have 3 children & look that amazing, I’m a 55 year old man & have struggled all my life with weight problems , currently weighing at 310 lb.s , You Go Girl!!!!!!
Wow, I can’t even believe the negative comments that inspired you to have to write this FAQ. But as the saying goes “haters gonna hate.” Just a note of support – love what you’re doing, keep getting your fitness message out there, and best of luck in all your endeavors.
It’s sad seeing all the jealous people like Michelle and Dom Calamari spewing hate. It’s strange how they’re grasping at straws to bring down what is obviously not an easy feat. Keep up the good work, Maria, and remember that with success, come the jealous haters.
Maria- You look awesome, congrats on getting yourself into shape. My wife, son and I are doing the same mostly through weights and (mostly) clean eating. Always love to see other people’s progress and success stories. Keep up the good work and do not let anyone bring you down with their comments! 🙂
Saw you on a post from a Facebook friend. All I can say is you are such a huge inspiration. I am like you, two kids (6 and 9) and in the best shape of my life!
Scream your message loud to those who hate you (and we know who they are, they hate me too because I’m I have your body and little kids at same time). They need to be beaten over the head with your message.
Thanks for the inspiration! I am sorry you have experienced this negative backlash as you are very brave to share your story and experiences with everyone. As a working mother of one, the gym is the main component in my life that has gone to the wayside and in turn, my health has definitely suffered. Thanks for sharing your story! It is very motivating and gives me hope and faith that it’s possible! Keep it up! Thanks again!!
You must hate when others succeed. You poor miserable little thing. Still, being miserable is no excuse to hate. Get a grip, and then you will be happy.
Sorry, have to repeat what Howie said!
“Michelle you must hate when others succeed. You poor miserable little thing. Still, being miserable is no excuse to hate. Get a grip, and then you will be happy.”!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Good for you! Ignore the haters.
How pathetic are you? I mean seriously! You talk about her tearing down other women, but you have the nerve to dig and post a link to some blog that her husband supposedly wrote? PATHETIC!
Not once did she say she was doing any of this for her husband. Not everything a woman does is for a man, to get a man or to keep a man. Some women do things for themselves because it makes them feel good. Again, you’re PATHETIC!
Does she make you feel that weak and insecure about yourself that you have to find ways to tear her down or try to embarrass her? REALLY?! And then you go as far as to say you’ll pray for them? I don’t think you’re type of energy is anything that anyone wants or needs.
I’m not sure why people have such a problem with those that choose to be fit. What do you have against being healthy? Being able to run up a flight of stairs without losing your breath? Being able to wear clothing that accentuates your body instead of clothing that’s too big? Not everyone that chooses to be fit is being mean, catty or bullying. You have a lot of soul searching to do! To bash her husband who has absolutely NOTHING to do with anything? That’s LOW and you were reaching, just SEARCHING for something to try to “put her in your place”.
I feel sorry for YOU and your husband that probably has to hear you complain about all the “skinny women that think they’re better than everyone.” Grow up!
I’m so sick of fat women calling other women fat shamers when we point out the fact that being fat is gross and unhealthy. FACT if you are fat and eat nothing but crap and sits on your ass all day, you are unhealthy, and you are unhealthy based on your OWN actions so don’t get mad at other people who have the respect for their body and health and take the time to take care of themselves.
Not all fat people become fat from eating a lot of crap while sitting on their asses all day. They may be obese due to medical reasons, such as medications, chronic pain, diabetes, cancer, or thyroid problems. It may not be due to their own actions!!!! Think before you write such hurtful, disrespectful crap.
pissed off, sounds like a bunch of excuses. how bout you put that negative energy and anger towards fueling a workout? there are many people with chronic pain, diabetes, cancer, and (oh my god!) thyroid problems that aren’t fat and overcome their issues to lead healthy lives. check yourself before you wreck yourself.
Pissed off..you’re only hurt because you see what she has and want it. Instead of finding ways around it you get on here and act jealous. Don’t be so mean…it’s time to take action in your life
I like the pic that so many have complained about. There is nothing offensive about it and does not display a “tude” or anything provocative. All the people who bitch about this are jealous hipocrits. Keep up the good work and continue to promote health and wellness.
U go girl! Be proud! people who bash other people are just not happy people in general, they are the complainers, not the doers. You are an insiration to us all!
Good for you!!!!! I had my baby 5 months ago and have lost 63 pounds so far. Has it been easy? No! But I wake up and workout at 5am. If you want something bad enough, you’ll make it happen. Keep inspiring, mama =)
Poor Michelle is so jealous she can’t even breathe. By the way she’s responding, she’s obviously obese, and insecure. Her husband is probably already cheating on her, she just doesn’t know it yet, or he’s fat like her, and is stuck with her. As for her saying she’ll pray for you, she’s one of those hypocritical Religious type that act so Religious, but yet put others down after they leave Church. Good Luck Michelle, It’s obvious you wish you could look like MARIA.
I don’t think the “haters” as you call them are upset with you personally. I believe they are upset with your choice of words. “What’s your excuse?” seems negative and rude. You could have worded it much differently and I believe you would have had a lot of support. My question is, after reading how insanely busy you are with your businesses, etc, when do you have REAL time with your children and your husband? Also, how do you address someone who has severe injuries in their knee, back, shoulder and neck, does not have medical insurance and cannot afford it? How would you address them in terms of exercise? Eating healthy is in their lifestyle but exercise is VERY limited due to such serious injuries. So, I guess my advice would be for you to promote yourself in a more positive light instead of insinuating that if we don’t look like you, we’re making excuses. You are a bit of a “diva” as I have looked at your pictures. You’ve been in the limelight quite a bit. So, before you “judge” that women aren’t trying as hard as you are, maybe it’s time for you to be more gracious and humble to those that are suffering for legitimate reasons!
hey sunshine, all i’m hearing are a lot of excuses and a whole lot of jealousy. don’t hate her because she’s beautiful and dedicated to being a better, healthier mom; you sound like the stereotypical overweight, lazy housewife of america that the world has grown to abhor. how bout you take that pizza out of your mouth, turn off the real housewives of wherever, and give maria’s FAC another once over. instead of judging her for being “a bit of a ‘diva'”, take a look at yourself and ask why you’re judging her and not dealing with your own insecure self.
“J” you just made a bull’s eye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Omg Sunshine64 this cracks me up because your words actually made me feel bad about being a “diva” hahah then I realized you just want the same as Maria..omg I hope people aren’t as mean to me when I start teaching yoga all over the world..doubt it though..you haters are our motivators..stay strong and worry about your husband and kids not hers..get real.
Good for you, girl. I’m a mom of three toddlers, too (including a set of twins) and have also MADE the time to work out and have made it a priority to eat healthily as a family. I have also received criticism for being fit. Haters gonna hate!
You’re a great writer, but spelling does not seem to be your strong suit. 🙂 Please take note that the plural of “business” is “businesses”. When you use an apostrophe after the word, it indicates possession (as in, something belonging to your business). I’ve noticed this misspelling in several places in your writing. Just trying to help a sista out!
Great Inspiration! Don’t take this picture down no matter what people say. You are my inspiration! You have the courage to do whet most of us wanted to say and do. Great job!!!!! No matter whet situation we are in or financial situation we are in you can do it No Excuse!!!!
michelle, that’s what your husband tells you so you won’t be worried about catching him cheating… but what he’s really trying to say is–
STOP BEING A HATER. don’t project your insecurities on someone else. it’s almost like you’re making excuses for yourself to not better yourself. let’s flip the script:
i don’t need to be insanely fit, because if he’s going to cheat on me, he will.
i don’t need to be a bitch to other women, because if he’s going to cheat on me, he will.
i don’t need to have ANY kids, because if he’s going to cheat on me, he will.
if he’s cheated before, he’ll cheat again. PEOPLE DON’T CHANGE. THEY DON’T LEARN FROM THEIR MISTAKES.
pretty much what you’re saying is, no matter what, a man will cheat on you if he wants, so what’s the use of being a better person FOR MYSELF AND FOR MY CHILDREN? you’re also saying that people don’t change and never learn from their mistakes, which is a very ignorant statement. people are constantly changing and learning; you will have changed after reading my comment, even in the slightest way as this comment will nag at you for several days or even weeks.
don’t hate on someone for being proud of their accomplishments; i bet you were proud of yourself when you did one of those silly pintrest DIYs and even posted a photo on instagram. why? because you were proud. everyone places different values on different life events than others and that’s not for you to judge.
How does a teenager face criminal charges for bullying and causing the events that lead to a twelve year olds suicide b.and how are people so up in arms about preventing school children from bullying get when a person like this has the audacity to put something out on social media people praise her for it?! I’m in the military I have to pt. In no way am I fat , lazy or jealous. I’m going on my third enlistment. I’m a mother and a daughter and I fear for the world when things like this is more important than real issues. I’ve been station at Mazar e Sharif Afghanistan. I can’t believe that we are seeing our vets being shut out and arrested from the memorials and fallen soldiers give their life for this country yet we give awards and accommodations and our respect to people who haven’t earned it. I’m not trying to bash this mother. My point is about respect. Respect for our nation and all kinds who live here. Not every mother has the ability and its not an excuse for laziness. Luxury can buy allot so I can’t take this as honesty from this female.
Boo hoo, you signed up for the armed services willingly so don’t peddle that crap about millitary this and serve your country that. I have friends and family in same positions that you are in and they don’t spew out the same high and mighty propaganda about the military that you do, call it HUMBLENESS. Hypocrite, “Respect our country and all kinds who live here” well sweetheart she lives in this country you protect, so practice what you preach. I’m not against the milifary, I’m against what you “think” you fight for. Freedom, Equality….bullshit. Pawns in camouflage fighting for a higher for of communism and dictatorship. Wake up!!! But carry on protecting our “freedoms” just like the freedom of speech this very beautiful and fit mother has. Congrats to her and tissue for you ma’am.
Well said “armyof WHOCARES”
Armyof1 this makes no sense..has nothing to do with Maria..she has no say in what the govt does with the Military and may not even know. Don’t come blaming your personal problems on her…see your EXCUSE?? you wasted time even writing on here..
Army of 1, just get on with your life enlisting yourself for the nth time and try to have a life!
I think you look fabulous and your children are very handsome. I also have 3 boys, not in quick succession as you, but… I have no excuse, but I know I will never have a body like yours. Keep up the good work and don’t let other peoples negative comments get you down.
You don’t owe anyone an apology for anything. I applaud you for your courage and your honesty. You truly handled this situation with grace and dignity and THAT is what makes you a role model in my eyes. You have a new fan. Cheers from a fellow blogger!
Mrs. Kang, you are awesome. Terrific look and you are inspiring your little ones as well. No excuse for Men and Women to be overweight. It seems you are consistent and diligent about your physical exercise. Keep up the great work inspiring people and ignore the negative response to those who are weak and jealous.
You are beautiful and an inspiration!!!thank you for motivating me!!
I can understand that you are proud of what you have done, and should the title of your picture have implicated that I would have been all for it. But you decided to raise yourself in comparison to others who for some reason aren’t able or even not interested in doing the same. That makes your beautiful picture look ugly. It’s a shame because with another text instead of all the negativity you might have received only sincere praise.
I can understand that you are proud of what you have done and should you have indicated that with your picture title I would have been all for it. But you needed to raise yourself by your condescending comparison to those who for some reason can’t or aren’t even interested to do the same and that makes your beautiful picture ugly. It also makes you wonder if you feel so good at yourself after all. That’s a shame because with a different attitude you would have earned a sincere praise for your achievement and probably avoided all the negativity you now have had to face.
When I saw this photo on Instagram a while back, I thought it was very inspirational. I have two kids. After my last pregnancy less than a year ago, I was about 5lbs away from being obese. I knew I had to make a change and make it fast especially with all the illnesses that run in my family. I want to be healthy and a great role model for my children. You deserve credit for working hard to stay healthy! Keep up the hard work!
You tend to come off as rude, and diva-like. Somewhat like humble-bragging. You assume that everyone who doesn’t look like you is lazy, doesn’t eat right, or is jealous. Maybe not everyone has the finances you does to pay for a gym, or to eat the gourmet healthy foods you eat. I don’t think that is an “excuse.” You say it’s 30% genetics, and 70% lifestyle, but some people’s genetics might not even allow them to work out, due to a disease or health issue, and in that case, your numbers are wrong. Also, some people might not have the father of the child in the picture to be able to pawn the kid(s) off to when they want to go work out. Not everyone in this world is as worried about looks as you are. From your blog, I can see your very diva-like, and vain. There is a way to help people get into shape, and that’s by MOTIVATING them and making them feel good. Not by making them feel “lazy/fat or eat wrong” if they are not like you. You need to be more aware that not everyone is like you, and have a little more respect for that fact. Now, I’m done giving attention to a self-praising diva.
Are you serious? “Not everyone has the finances you does (sic) to pay for a gym or to eat gourmet healthy foods”. You are really not serious, right?
You think you need to pay money for a gym to exercise?!
You think you need to spend MORE money on food in order to eat LESS?
Making unhealthy people feel good about being unhealthy does not work. It’s a very sensitive issue, but we should not be praising dangerous eating habits. Perhaps Maria does come across as a bit of a ‘diva’ but she is healthy. Something more than half of Americans can’t say about themselves. I wish we would stop tip-toeing around the obesity issue and just acknowledge that is is bad – for society, for your family and most of all for yourself – to eat absolute crap because you’re lazy.
Take it from me. I was very overweight a few years ago (160cm 87kg). I ate rubbish because it was easy and never exercised. I complained about feeling stressed. I complained about being depressed. Now I’m 65kg and feel amazing. Why? Because I conform to socially-accepted ideals of ‘thin’? NO. Because I’m healthy, and it makes an enormous difference to your mental health and wellbeing to be healthy.
Oh, and I am also a single mother of 2 on minimum wage who can’t afford a gym membership. Just in case “not having much money” is your excuse.
Hi Over it…you only feel that way because that’s the way you see the world. Other people seem pretty motivated. lets face facts..your intention here is to try to feel good cause you truly feel bad about yourself. You are being “rude, and diva-like” AND making excuses!! You’re right people don’t have husbands to help them out but they will find a gym that has a day care and take them there whenever they work out..You see how you made an EXCUSE and I created an alternative. Humble yourself OVER IT..because I am over cruel, nasty, jealous people who do not want to be accountable for their life!!!
get over it! “over it”
You look great, you work hard and it shows. Your kids are beautiful they look happy and proud of their mom. Keep it up and congrats. Don’t listen to haters.
I’m I tired of hearing military personnel spew their “fighting for you freedom” propaganda. Sitting up upon your ivory towers like us civilians owe you something, most of you hicks have no basic skills and/or did shitty in high school and enlisted as a way to escape your miserable lives. Remember YOU picked up that pen and signed away. Pawns in camouflage fighting a rich mans war for an advance form of communisim and dictatorship. Wake up!!! HA!! Serve on and protect our freedoms but remember, the freedom of speech is one of them and this wonderfully fit women did just that, exercised her right…and just so you know in have friends and family in the military, in high ranking positions, but they know the difference between war and terrorism is. Armyof1 do you??
I was ramped up to say something about the drivel that armyofWHOCARES was spewing when it I suddenly realized that it was jealousy speaking. Jealousy and resentment that this poor deluded individiual couldnt make the cut to stand a watch at the wall and see what the REAL world looks like. Im sure there are excuses galore most of them either dealing with intellect or physical capabilites or more than like a combination of the two. Dont disparage those of us though who have the intestinal fortitude to step up, put aside our squeemishness and excuses and commit to something bigger than ourselves. So until you defend your right to free speech and not ride your friends and family’s coat tails in doing so, your opinions are like your excuses… weak. On that note, Maria you look amazing,. As a disabled veteran of two wars and a single father of 3 kids who also hails from the Golden State, I completely agree that its easy to make excuses and not commit. Just ask armyofWHOCARES.
Good for you have a nice body. Without your nice body and make up, I wonder how you look like.What’s your excuse?
Hoo weee, Ms. kangaroo–you sure have a chip on your shoulder! I hope you can find some true happiness in life. I really do.
Maria Kangaroo you are one scary chica..you have almost the same name as her..whats that about? is that really your name? you’re here hating but you wrote Maria Kangaroo as your name..lame
I wonder how you look like with your make up. What’s your excuse?
So I guess Michelle Obama doesn’t ” fat shame” anyone? You should be proud of your achievements, balancing work and family. Keep up the fight and apologize to no one. You are one hot momma.
Wow anyone who has wrote something negative about this pic I think is jealous. I’ve been over weight my whole life and I have had 3 children and 1 more on the way and I have a million “excuses”! Non of which are good excuses. I think its a great pic so good for you. I never comment on anything but I just thought this was so ridiculous that people would say the thing they are saying about you. As a matter of fact after seeing this pic I might just get off my lazy ass and try to do something about my weight instead of sitting online!!!! Maria do what you do and never mind the ignorance. Oh and I’m sure I’ll get rude comments back but don’t waste your time because I don’t feed into the bs. Thanks
All I can say is wow! You, your family, and your friends know who you are as a person. As for the rest. Let them be jealous.
I am baffled that you felt the need to even justify this picture or your life. You’re inspirational! Anyone who feels different isn’t able to be inspired because they are too busy hating. Oh well. You go girl!
You go girl! You look amazing and should be proud of yourself. It takes a lot of willpower to eat well and exercise no matter how busy your life is, to do it will everything going on in your life, well, I find it really inspiring! Keep up the great work!
You are an inspiration. I realize now what my excuses are and what to do about them. Thanks again
How can you say you’ll “pray” for someone after directing all that hate, anger and judgement towards them?? I don’t know what’s going on in your life to make you so unhappy, but I genuinely pray that you find enough happiness within yourself to stop projecting so much venom onto others. That was really sad to read.
All you over-jealous, probobly out of shape, in a state of denial females…because that’s all who is hating on Maria… really need to take a look at your selves in the mirror …or two if your so fat That you can only see yourself in 1. Are you happy with what you see? Do you feel good? Do you feel your healthy? Of course not… I know I don’t.. I suffer from chronic pain and illness. Diabetes has taken so much from me. My sight. My organs. And almost my life. Probably because I ate crap, I didn’t excersise, I was lazy and used my illnesses as an excuse.
Now you want to insult her marriage and relationship with her husband.. has your husband cheated on you with a healthy, fit, beautiful young lady? Simply because your just too fat and ugly?
Oh wait…he didn’t.. that must mean he is AS fat and ugly as you (and your children are probably spitting images of you)
This woman did the best thing for her children and her husband. She will be around with and for them for a very long time. While you sit there and clogg your arteries with Sgetti. She will be around to watch her kids grow and accomplish great things in life while your family sits in a hospitol and watches you die from all the pork rinds you ingested.
She’s trying to set an example for people, most importantly her kids. So they don’t grow up to be the porky pigs your children will turn out to be. Monkey see, monkey do!
Keep up with what your doing Maria! Everybody else can go to McDonalds.
And I’m going for a walk!
Good post! (People are so lame these days, taking offense at anything. You know, if you stick your foot out long enough, someone’s bound to step on your toes.)
How are you bullying anyone if this is on your Facebook page? That makes no sense at all.
It is often easier to blame the powerful than to realize your own weakness. Nietzsche called people who do that…well, surprisingly, Wikipedia’s “master / slave morality” page says it well:
This resentment Nietzsche calls “priestly vindictiveness”, which is the jealousy of the weak seeking to enslave the strong with itself.
(Me again.) You’re strong-willed. Those who complain or who allow themselves to sink under the weight of their own excuses are weak-willed. (Excepted are those with real problems and obstacles.)
I’m leaving now to finish the novel that I’ve weakly allowed myself too many excuses for. Thanks for the inspiration. Continue to be a pro-active, energetic and goal-seeking person. Don’t look back on all those yelling insults at you in the distance. There’s a reason why they have to try to bring you down: Because that’s where they are–down. Continue to climb.
Stay positive! I think what you had to say is true….we can all make time. We might not end up looking like you do but we can look and feel the best we can through planning and hard work.
Maria, I am truly horrified by some of the negative responses and the lengths to which some people will stoop to just to get a dig at you.
I am absolutely disgusted by some of the questions posed to you regarding your children, husband and ethnicity. That is just plain ugliness at its core.
I am presently pregnant, overweight and full of excuses. When I saw your picture I thought good for you. I didn’t feel you were taking a personal aim at me but your question did resonate. Perhaps these idiots are motivated after all: by jealousy and insecurity. This, to me, is very obvious.
Good on you for maintaining your fitness and asking the world a very much needed question.
GOOD! Its because society is trying to be so politically correct that NOBODY is honest with those that truly need it. I’m obese – I’m doing something about it and the ONE time that I mentioned the word FAT on somebody else’s blog I got a barrage of stupid words like – I’m not fat – I’m horizontally challenged.
NONSENSE… YOU ARE FAT! I’m not wrapping cotton wool around my problem anymore and I applaud women like you who rip the Band-Aid off for the rest of us. You rock!
You go girl!!! I’m very proud of women like you— I’m a mother of 3 little boys also! 4 year old in November, a 2 year old and 20 weeks old! It’s a hard job and get very stressful and if you got the power and ability to take care of 3 boys and workout your a super mom! I am overweight and working on losing it and give a big thumbs up to woman like you! Keep your chin up and I’m sorry the hate comments from the woman…. Keep up the good work!!!
Go Maria King!
Good for you Maria! I’m a mom of an almost 2-year old and I can say that I am overweight. Do I begrudge you for being a fit mom? Hell no! I think as women, we should be encourage each other and lift each other up! You’ve worked hard and it’s a good example to others (and myself) to get out there and do it. You’re inspiring. Keep up the good work!
unbelievable anyone was offended by this. congrats! You go.I don’t know you, but I am proud of you. you are setting a great example for your kids. too bad women cannot support other women’s success due to what I think is jealousy.
How other women react to seeing a healthy fit woman is their issue. They need to take responsibility for them selves (body and mind) and not blame you for how they feel.
I want to try your new product, so e mail me when it comes out so I can order it.
I know in the flurry of comments and mails it is not likely that this will reach you. However I wanted to say congrats – you look amazing, and have obviously worked very hard for it.
However I wanted to say why your photo hit a nerve with me – and it has nothing to do with the photo. It has to do with the caption. As someone who struggled for years with eating disorders, this (to me) falls in the thinspiration/fitspiration craze that seems to be going around. Most of those are images of “fit” (aka skinny) women with captions basically saying ‘you’re not good enough until you look like this’.
To start with, as a result of years of eating disorders, my metabolism is now beyoned messed up. Eating well and keeping relativly active unfortunately doesn’t leep me from being over weight. When I was pregnant with my daughter (now 8 months old) I only gained 20 pounds.
So – if I lost my baby weight, according to your caption, I have no excuse for not spending my maternity leave time getting into the best shape of my life, right? But our realities are all different
– my reality is a husband who works 12+ hours a day and can’t be there to take our daughter or to help with the house work. So when she’s napping, I still have 100% of the housework to do.
– My reality is Post Partum Depression – even at 8 months old, there are still days I can’t get out of the house, and have a hard time just keeping myself together.
– My reality is a very strict budget, and a gym is not a luxury we can afford. Yes, I know gyms are not necessary and I could work out when my daughter is napping, but again, with no help around the house, it becomes a choice of ‘do I make dinner, or do I work out?’ or ‘do I do the laundry and dishes, or do I work out?’
I’m sorry this is a long comment, and again – I have no problems with your picture, and you clearly are a very hard working mom, and you’re setting awesome examples of an active lifestyle for your kids.
I just wanted to throw out a few examples of why the caption, rather than motivating, has had the opposite effect, on me at least.
Congratulations to you!!! I am in the medical field and every day I come to work and see the same patients over and over again for the smae issues. You can suggest better eating habits, mild exercise, stop smoking ect. rarely does anyone make a change for themselves. Every one here is still making excuses, they just think their’s is justifiable.
Most excess body fat can be eliminated through good diet habits. What’s a good reason for continuing to fill our bodies with unhealthy, excessive amounts of food? Fitness routines can be modified for people with illnesses. I have people in my gym in wheelcahirs, carrying portable oxygen and walking around the track with crutches. You took the negatives of an eating disorder and childhood bullies and didn’t accept that they would define you. Shame on people who choose to see your motivational poster as a direct threat to themselves. These are the same people who just can’t get that no matter how appropriate their excuses sound to them, it’s still an excuse.
This is awesome, Maria. Seriously.
It amazes me to watch as the legion of insecure, excuse-making folks come out of the woodwork.
If you’re happy with your body, good for you. But guess what? The reality is 2/3 of people in the US are overweight/obese. 2/3. So even though you’re “happy with your body,” odds are you shouldn’t be happy with your health.
Let’s be real here. Please, people. Stop turning this into something it isn’t so you can feel better about your inadequacies and excuses.
You either do or you don’t. It’s that simple. That’s the message here. We’re all busy. But some of us choose to make our health a priority. If you don’t, that’s cool. But for the love of God, stop making excuses and accept some responsibility when your doctor tells you you’re pre-diabetic/overweight/hypertensive/etc.
I think you’re awesome and an inspiration. You’re the second woman this week who made me realize I really don’t have a valid reason for not being fit. I buy/prepare most of my meals and I have the use of all my limbs. I belong to a gym that has childcare, I have access to a gym at work, and the ability to workout at home before or after work. I have no excuses. Thanks for posting your photo.
I had been hearing about this “controversial” photo, but when I actually clicked on the link, I was shocked. People like you used to be called role models. Apparently now you’re called bullies. We all have areas of our lives that need work, but too often excuses prevent us from achieving our goals.
I’ve always looked physically fit, even when I was smoking a pack a day. Quitting smoking was one of my toughest challenges, but I was only able to succeed by cutting through all the usual excuses until all I had left was the reality that I was hurting myself. My father recently reached the same conclusion about his weight. So far he’s down forty pounds and has completely changed his lifestyle.
My excuses would have killed me eventually, just like they were killing my dad. We should celebrate people making the right decisions precisely because they’re as weak as the rest of us, yet they’ve been able to overcome that weakness. They remind us that our excuses are nothing more than that.
You are a total inspiration and SO good for you for not giving in to the haters who aren’t willing to do what you did to get what you got. Cheers!!!!
Being “in shape” or physically fit has nothing to do with body weight, or being healthy. If a person consumes the same amount of calories and begins exercising, then some weight will be lost. However, to be healthy, the person’s levels of cholesterol, blood sugar, and other factors need to be optimized for that individual. I believe that everyone has the responsibility to be as healthy as possible. For some, this does mean losing some weight. It is not easy to do, but it can be done. Do not be ashamed of being fit. It shows that you are vigilant about your health, and some others, who question you, are not.
a friend of mine is a nurse and works pretty much exclusively with people with weight related issues, and its not an easy job. she deals with people who have organs that don’t function, they can’t go to the bathroom without intervention, amputees, etc, etc, etc. i am not trying to shame anyone, this is reality, and it doesn’t wait for you to get to 80, or 70, or even 40.
i don’t think every mom needs to be as fit as Maria, but as a mom why wouldn’t you want to be there for your kids? part of that is being a role model by living healthy and teaching them how to live healthy as well. the first thing i thought when i saw the pic was how proud mom was of her sons, and by the way the oldest is quite the player, dads better lock up their daughters.
Wow. I had to be on bed rest to have my children survive in my womb. That’s why I was inactive. In addition, I couldn’t have been a sicker pregnant woman. In fact, I have one kid die in my womb. Oh, and both children came out with illnesses, that are hereditary. These things consume a large amount of my time, energy and money. So to say people use excuses and anyone can be skinnier or skinny is as ignorant as the comments others make about you. It isn’t healthy to obsess, one way or another. If you need to look great and show off your body to feel great about yourself, good for you. But what is on the outside isn’t always as or more important as what is on the inside. Maybe if your motivation was positive rather than condescending, your message would go much farther, and you would actually help people. Clearly you have a great deal of time in your life to do all of these things and raise three kids. Good for you.
I thought you looked really good after having three children. I said to myself, “Wow! I wish I was as toned as she is”. I am 51 years old with one daughter, 23. For a long time, I began to eat, eat, and eat. Stop working out, walking and all the things I did to maintain my weight. In 2008 I decided I had enough and began to walk in the neighborhood. Long story short. I have lost 160+ pounds, off and on gaining a few back. I went from one mile a day to 6 to 7 a day. When unemployed, I walked in the morning and in the evenings. Five (5) jumping jacks to 200 a night when I was pushing down the weight and trying to tone the middle section. I do a few other exercises too. Over the winter I have gained 20 pounds and hate it everyday. I just can’t seem to get back into my routine. You look good, keep the good work up. May I have some of the “toning genes” you have? LOL I’m sorry for all of the negative comments. And I have been there done that. I agree with you. We can’t help what others think, nor am I going to try to change “ones” mind. Keep up the good work and attitude. Your heart loves you!! Thank you for sharing your story.
lisa byrd, college park, ga.
You look amazing!
I just a my first baby at 29 years of age. The birth had to be trough a c-section and now 9 months later I weight 7lb less than before I got preggo. I look good but not Maria good, smiles. I know I could look better but I am loving eating all I can eat and not gaining a pound, so maybe later. You are an inspiration!
What’s your excuse for having more than two children? Keeping the population size stagnant by reproducing yourself and your husband is one thing but having a third child to suck up the earth’s diminishing resources is just selfish.
Because this author says it better than I ever could:
This is just an opinion….
I can’t believe these personal, rude, ignorant comments or questions. Don’t buy into this. You are amazing … and a smart business woman/good mom. The haters are cruel … And jealous.
Maria, I do not know if it is just me, but too many people get all worked up about nothing that has to do with them. My theory is that if someone looks in their mirror and doesn’t like what they see, then do something about it. Money is not the issue. Self control is. I am not a mommy of little kids either, I am 53-years-old, and weigh the same as I did at 23.
What has not been mentioned in any of these posts, is that you are doing great work in providing care for the elderly. When all of us reach end point in life, we probably will not care if we had tight tummys, but how we live our lives. No one gets that point unless they have been there.
Prayer warrior………….. after embarrassing a lady like u and insulting her publicly, meanwhile, her posts were not targeted at u(after all, you are not the only unfit lady in the world)…. u now want to pray for her. Why not pray for yourself for a start. U sure need prayers so you don’t allow the burden of envy and malice to weigh u down. I was super-motivated by Maria’s super-fit-mum-pic and so, her hubby cheated on her…. stale news. Let him that thinks he stands take heed lest he falls. Hope u have a regulator to measure your husband’s fidelity. Am sorry for u. Stop being judgmental. Ok?
Prayer warrior………….. after embarrassing a lady like u and insulting her publicly, meanwhile, her posts were not targeted at u(after all, you are not the only unfit lady in the world)…. u now want to pray for her. Why not pray for yourself for a start? U sure need prayers so you don’t allow the burden of envy and malice to weigh u down. I was super-motivated by Maria’s super-fit-mum-pic and so, her hubby cheated on her…. stale news. Let him that thinks he stands take heed lest he falls. Hope u have a regulator to measure your husband’s fidelity. Am sorry for u. Stop being judgmental. Ok? And even if u cannot afford to be in super shape like Maria, u can at least start walking round your neighborhood 30 minutes daily. It will help u. Don’t give up the fight for ur life and start fighting others.
Guys, I never cheated on Maria 🙂 My post was about my first marriage and the fact that I was talking to an old love of mine (which I consider emotional infidelity) I owned up to it and am not afraid to tell the truth of my shortcomings in the PAST.
You are a true inspiration! You absolutely nailed it when you said you are not the cause for anyone’s thoughts and are not responsible for the way people give meaning to the message in the picture. Reality is, many people do not take responsibility for their own life, always expect other to solve their problems, always complain about something and usually get offended when truth stares them in their faces. In this case, the truth is what you can achieve when you really want to, are disciplined, organized, control your thoughts and have clear goals.
Michelle, do you understand that the negative energy you just TRIED to put in Maria’s life is on it’s way to yours right now? Don’t believe me? Just watch…whatever is coming towards you is going to teach you “not to hate what others have because you dont…work for it” Good luck I am truly praying for you…
Bresha, that was cool!!!
In a nation of fat, lazy people, you are an inspiration. Young women today weigh 10-20 lbs more than young American women 35 years ago. Being fat is an unhealthy life-style choice in America, and it been made more acceptable by cultural acceptance. Thank you for setting a better example.
Long-term breastfeeding provides many long-term health benefits for children and mothers, including weight loss for mothers. I breastfed all of my children for 3+ years, lost my pregnancy weight and more, kept fit by walking with my babies every day, and fed my girls organic, home-cooked meals, and have a full-time job. What’s your excuse?
I guess my Excuse is I’M NOT A NARCISIS LIKE YOU!
Good for you, Maria! I think it’s wonderful when moms make their health a priority. It’s not only good for you, but also a good step toward giving your children more years with you (and that’ is NOT selfish). I also watched a parent (my father) die from diabetes, and it’s an awful, slow death. I do think that this topic comes down to one thing: How much importance and significance does a mom want to put on her health AND the way she looks. What is “healthy” to you may not be to others. I think people who are upset by this, should keep in mind that being healthy doesn’t mean looking like you. Health and appearance are two different things. You can be healthy and choose not to be super fit. Good luck!
I love the picture. Setting a strong example for your children is what they need. Not everyone can accomplish what you have, but there’s no reason not to try/struggle to get where you want to be in life!
Michelle (Post 89), I think you’re confusing narcissism with egocentrism. You are actually displaying more narcissistic tendencies by making this post and trying to justify your own shortcomings by trying to gain acceptance in the “better” parts of your life. Let me quote another controversial blogger, Matt Forney:
“Genuinely confident and self-assured people don’t get rattled by blog posts. They aren’t driven to tears, vomit or death threats from something they read. They ignore it and move on. Only those who are psychologically broken would go berserk over an article like that. I’ve written far more objectively offensive things in the past, but this article has gotten more attention than all of them combined. What gives?
The answer is simple: a large number of girls—and nearly all feminists—are clinical narcissists.
People confuse narcissism and egocentrism, when the reality is that they are polar opposites: egocentric people are full of themselves, while narcissists lack a sense of self altogether. Narcissists use the adulation of others as a means of filling the void of their soul—hence the term “narcissistic supply”—and construct an identity that facilitates this. When this reality collapses, they devolve into a storm of anger, aka “narcissistic rage.” ”
Your over-generalization of “cheating husbands” is quite invalid and also a sign of narcissism. Obviously not all cheaters remain cheaters. I for one am a past cheater, and am striving to keep it in the past. Maria Kang’s generalization is valid: everyone has an excuse, no one is perfect. She is merely asking you to become aware of your specific shortcomings, especially subconscious and relative to your own goals, so you may begin improving that part of yourself.
You go girl!!! I have no excuse for not exercising or giving in to 3 pm craving monster. I have no excuse for giving into the pain in my knees. Do they hurt, yes. However, when I move, the pain goes away. I have no excuse to be unhappy with my body because it’s my body and it’s up to me to take care of it. I have no excuse for making the issue about finances because there is a gym down the street that cost $36 a month. I spend that in on week with fast food. And you know what, walking is free and so is stretching at home. Thank you for challenging me to stop making excuses.
I am 28 years old. I had my first child at 17. when I got pregnant I weighed 92lbs. I gained well over 100lbs during my pregnancy. I was depressed because of how I looked. After 4 years had passed I had still only managed to get down to what is officially still in the “obese” category. I personally find NOTHING offensive about your photo. I spent years thinking that becoming thin again would take all of my “mom” time and wasn’t willing to sacrifice. I recently found out I was in fact making it harder on myself. Making excuses if you will. I’ve since reached an “average” weight once again, (it took me TEN years). Had someone been honest then and asked me what my excuse was and set me on the right path MAYBE it wouldn’t have taken me 10 years to feel this good about myself again. Good for you!
I am inspired by you. I don’t understand the negative comments. We need to strive to be our best and push ourselves a little more. I do not have children yet I hope to be fit when I do have them. You are strong and beautiful. Teaching you family fitness is a good thing. Thank you. I like that you use prayer to meditate and find inspiration. Peace to everyone.
Hey “over it”, just get over it and stop crying!
I see a YouTube / exercise and lifestyle star potential here. You should expand your repertoire to coach others. NICE JOB!!!
YOU GO GIRL!!! I agree with everything you have said. I cannot stand lazy moms who have nothing to do but cut down each other. Until women figure out that we are our own worst enemies, we will never be able to discover our full potential. I am a full time working mom of three great kids but I also take time to take care of myself. Haters need to look in the mirror and figure out why they are so threatened by you. I love your response. Wake up girls and figure out what makes YOU happy – stop looking for negative ways to tear down others….
I loved your response to everyone who’d rather be upset with you for working hard to stay healthy instead of seeing your accomplishments as motivation for being healthy themselves.
Cheers to you! I found your photo inspiring and motivating and your response to everyone has made you my new hero!
LOVE how well spoken you are! Brilliant mama, your boys are lucky to have such a role model.
You’re awesome. It is so much easier to make excuses than to do the work. I was also overweight growing up, and finally got into great shape in my 20’s. After that I heard people tell me how “lucky” I was that I was in shape (or “naturally” thin), as if I just won some lottery that got me the body I had. They choose to ignore the possibility that I actually worked really hard for a long time to get in shape — something they weren’t willing to do. Yet they were the ones feeling resentful.
Everyone lashing out is responding to their own guilt, their own deep-down knowledge that they’re not fit because they haven’t truly chosen to be. Again, it’s easier to make excuses. The politically correct climate we live in makes everyone ultra-sensitive about “offending” overweight people. But maybe they need to hear the truth..sometimes it takes tough love to get people to change their ways. Keep up your message.
LOVE your picture, love your attitude, love everything you are saying and doing in relation to this photo. I don’t know you, but want to send tons of positive energy your way. Keep on movin’.
Well said Maria and I totally agree with you. If anyone has any problems with regards to your most recent pics and pertaining to health and fitness issues, then its their problems. Its as though had you not posted yr pic they are not aware of their present issues.
Just let them live a lie and say whatever they like, the point is you are merely trying to encourage others to keep fit … period.
I love what you said I love how you said it and it s about time that the sitters and watchers and complainers and victims in this worldd get told to get over it and stop blaming the doer’s and starters and workers and dreamers for making them feel bad about them selves. Ohhh boo hoo for them. If you dont like the way you look get up and change it!!!!
Good for you Maria Kang for standing up and staying strong. Please come on my show Home and Family on the Hallmark channel they will love you!
I like what you have said. I used the excuse of I didn’t want to take the time away from my son after he was born. I felt guilty. Then when he was about 6 months, I realized I was taking from him by not working out. Unfortunately, I have a hard time losing weight due to high prolactin levels which is believed to be caused by a tumor. But I still work out daily and eat right. Hopefully, when I get everything taken care of with my body internally, I will lose the extra weight.
nailed it. You really need to say no more, you are just saying out loud what people wish they could, but they dont because they’re using that as an excuse to be out of shape, unhealthy, and honestly just unhappy. They wish they could have your drive to be healthy, thats the bottom line. You are an inspiration.
Way to go…and way to answer the “critics.” When our “news” is always focusing on trashy pics from unimportant and irrelevant people the Kardashians or Minaj, you get bashed for an attractive and inspiring post. That’s what’s wrong in America these days. Your story and accomplishments are to be applauded, not bashed!
I feel so bad that you felt you needed to defend your great family photo!!!! I bet the three little guys are very proud of the momma for looking so hot!!!
Go Maria!!!! You are an inspiration to everyone, and forget the people who criticize you for being a bully…they just say that because they are too lazy to get off their fat ass and DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! They are jealous, lazy, and all they can do is yell at you for something stupid, because that’s all they know to do to make themselves feel better about their lazy self…create unnecessary drama by ridiculing someone else!
I honestly don’t see what’s the big deal! Apparently those who are upset or jealous. Why I don’t know. I have seen better. I love having a flat stomach, but I don’t want to look like a 5 year old boy. I prefer the Beyonce body type , curvy.
WHY NOT POST THE “UN EDITED” PICTURE OF U IN UR BLUE BIKINI THEN POST THE COMMENT ABOVE THAT ONE??? exactly my thoughts ; then u wonder why your being misread
But what about all the people who work at it as hard as you but still do not look like you??? Who are still overweight or even obese??? You are tying in “taking care of yourself” and “health” with your appearance when you know full well that this is a lie. What about promoting health and self care and having nothing to do with how a person looks??? When we get to this I think things will have truly shifted in our society for the better.
If they are not getting results, then the truth is they aren’t doing it right.
As to your belief that she is promoting a person’s looks. You’re incorrect. Her looks are a result of what she is promoting. Also, the way she looks is heavily correlated with her healthy lifestyle choices, which means that the only way to display the results of her lifestyle is by putting up pictures of herself which will inevitably be a woman who is physically fit and strong.
Are you a doctor? No. Shut the fuck up you don’t know what you’re talking about you dickless douche.
the second coming of Christ will be soon….stop pointing out overweight people then glorifying one person.
Maria … good for you… I’m glad you like to point out others … point being if an overweight woman knocked on your door and asked for your help would you pick on her? not jealous just honest. I’ve been both and know how adult people are. Please start accepting people whom they are and stop being so fame hungry. it’s disturbing.
I dont think that by putting yourself out there so to help inspire people become better is being fame hungry. I guess, it all boils down on how you want to perceive her. Sad.
Not meaning to be rude but have you had any more revealing photos of yourself taken? You are beautiful and I’d love to see them if you ever decide to do that.
You’re on the right track Ms. Yang.
I think that it is AMAZING how you are an owner of two residential homes and able to juggle the everyday struggles of a regular life. Honestly I think you are at a higher level of spiritual aspect than most people to be able to take care of yourself and your family. I read your post on FB about your apologies to people who threw off your lifestyle out of proportion. Just thought I’d share my thoughts. As long as you learn your true potentials in your life and what you need to do with it… to inspire people thats all that matters on my end 🙂
Inspirational! Now I’m getting off my duff to go work off the pecan pie. Thanks so much.
You come off as an arrogant self righteous pig. What’s your excuse?
Lynne – You are a loser, period. That’s how I read your comment.
Way to be hateful.
She actually comes off exactly how she presents, which is a person who has the belief in the fact that health and fitness are a choice for almost everyone. Anything other than the choice of health is in fact an excuse to not choose health. Sorry to burst your bubble.
Why are you so in love with this worthless dependa, James? Is it because you can’t get a woman in the real world and in your fantasy world Maria wants a douche like you?
She’s just a stupid slut spending her husbands disability money and calling herself a business owner.
I read the one sentence blurb about you on the Yahoo! front pages a few months ago, but I only just checked out your webpage today. I think you are not at all like the arrogant show-off that many people have made you out to be. You are just someone who knows how to take care of herself, and want to help other people do the same. Mad props to you.
What piqued my interest to check out your page today was that I finally found out your name, and it’s good to see more Korean faces in American media. Kidding! I didn’t miss that part where you explain your background.
I am Dutch, work full-time and stay in shape by eating healthy and exercising mainly through ballet, which I have practised since I was a kid. In addition, I do small work-outs before work at home of up to 30 min. Then, I go to work by bicycle. I don’t have any children yet, but sure hope to have one or two (or more) in the upcoming years. What I want to say… Yes, for me you are an inspiritation! I was already determined to not lose my shape after becoming a mother and you’re story has just confirmed to me that it is possible (contrary to what most moms propagate)! Thank you for this and congratulations on your hard work and the great results!
Do you keep nutritional information logs as well?
I can’t tell you how much this whole thing irritates me.
Please…stop shaming women with your poorly stated attempt at “motivation”.
Not a single person is being shamed with the exception of their own thoughts of being “lesser than”. Maria serves as a motivation to more people than she serves as a “shame” and the only way she can serve as a “shame” is through that person’s own thoughts about themselves.
Fitness, health and wellness are a decision for almost everyone. They are a choice. It doesn’t mean it is easy, but it is still a choice. If someone chooses to make a different choice when the choice of health is an option, then that choice IS an excuse.
James, what’s your excuse for your tiny dick? I’m not shaming, I’m just asking.
Linda, are you really that mean?
What does James’ comment have to do with the size of his dick? What is it about Maria’s post you hate about yourself?
I just really do not understand haters. MK, slept through my spin class this a.m. always regret ridiculous You know what I have NEVER regretted? Getting up at 5:30a.m. (bc when my kids get up it becomes their time) to make class, prepping (breakfast, lunch and dinner) meals on Sunday and Monday for myself and my girls, taking them to the gym with me after school, choosing to invite my family to participate in a 5k instead of coming over for the next BBQ or Low Country Crab Boil…
Point is: While some are still whining and complaining, me and my house keep it moving. This is ridiculous. If you don’t like it, not inspired, not motivated…do that ish on your own page so you can encourage like-minded people to join you in obesity! You know like McD’s..and Hardees…*fill in the blank with your favorite fat food joint*
Enjoy the remainder of your day! 🙂
I agree with your message, that if you want to lose weight, you should not make excuses. But I don’t think you are not qualified to state that weight loss is 30% genetics and 70% environment. Every person is unique and for some genetics plays a larger part. Unfortunately some people do have to work harder and that’s life. I had a friend who had PCOS and worked out 3 hours a day and ate well and was obese. So be careful about your judgements of others.
She is clearly speaking about it in general terms. Genetic disorders that cause obesity are quite rare (under 5% of North American population), so the truth is, her statement’s generality actually holds quite true. Add to that other disabilities, medications and medical complications, it could add up to possibly 30%, the likelihood however would be much lower than that.
Health is a decision. It is a choice. That holds true for almost everyone.
Pamela, she doesn’t have the capacity to be non judgmental. She lives in her own little bubble where she’s queen and everyone should be like her and those that disagree or criticize are bullies.
I love how you go on and on about the health care costs associated with obesity and people not being held accountable for their health. I’m sure your unplanned pregnancies didn’t cost the system a dime. You had your first bastard child at 29, did you not know where babies come from? You have a lot of nerve demanding that women look a certain way and exercise when you can’t even remember to take your birth control pills. And you are NOT a business owner, nor do you even have a real job. You married your baby daddy who happens to be a business owner. You’re a spoiled brat who has had everything handed to you your whole life. You’re not and inspiration, you’re not a role model, and just because someone refuses to coddle you, doesn’t make them a bully. You need to learn how to accept criticism without throwing yourself a pity party. Grow up, get a life, pay your own bills and do something that matters, you worthless dependa.
What hateful comments. How do you know the pregnancy was unplanned or, if so, due to failure to take birth control on time? And if so, so what? She has a loving husband and the means to support her children, and is obviously a loving mother so good for her! Having children doesn’t make your opinion suddenly invalid, regardless of the circumstances of your child’s conception or birth.
Your comment is rude and insane and you may not find her yo be an inspiration or a role model, but I do and I am sure so do many others. So instead of just accepting that and moving on, why post such hateful garbage with the intent to make someone else feel bad? How miserable your life must be to spew such malice, I truly pity you.
Hate much? Omg! Have you been on instagram? Get a clue!. People have picture of themelves all over the Internet with barely anything on. If you are just trolling to spread your hate, why don’t you do something positive and olunteer at a homeless shelter.
Linda, the only bully here is you.
Maria – keep up the good work and ignore the haters.
It may never occur to “hard bodied” women that most men like their women to be soft, smooth & sqwishy. If they want to make love to someone who is hard and angular, they might as well be with another man.
100% bullshit. Good health has been a major role in attractiveness since the dawn of time. If a woman is more healthy looking than you are, they are more attractive by default. Their sexual marketplace value is also higher.
I’m assuming from your comment that you’re fat and without a lot of muscle, so I’ll clarify. Muscle tissue still has quite a bit of give to it when you’re not flexing or extending. Thus, “hard bodied women” only really applies to female body builders/ athletes and not your average fit woman. Men and women are genetically very different. The muscle that I build by lifting weights and working a physical job is very different than the muscle that she builds by exercising and parenting. My muscles are hard and toned for the most part. Her muscles are flatter and while I still imagine they’re quite firm, they’re nowhere near as noticeable as mine are. If I raise my arm to the side, you can see the muscles in my shoulder rippling underneath the skin. I’ll clarify by saying, I’m not a meat tank by any means. I’m 6’1″ and 145lbs due to my slight frame. I’m not ripped at all, far from it, but I am noticeably muscular.
I’ll finish off by saying a little bit of fat is not unhealthy, nor is it unattractive, as well as provide a few examples.
Here is an example of a woman that has a *little* fat.
Kaley Cuoco is gorgeous.
This woman is still quite pretty due to the natural symmetry of her face, and her hip to waist ratio is still quite good, though this is about as fat as I’d still find sexually appealing:
However, when comparing the two women in this particular photograph: http://media.ebaumsworld.com/mediaFiles/picture/380399/653358.jpg
The woman on the right is not very appealing to me at all. The woman on the left maintains a healthy balance between being fat and being fit. She is full-bodied. The woman on the right, even though she has a larger frame and is a head taller than the left woman, has an overly full body and could definitely benefit from getting some exercise and seizing her diet by the throat. Should she not, she will likely have a slew of health problems caused by her obesity when she is older, if not in the near future.
Just wondering if you work more than full time….like over 55 hours and week and communte many hours per week.
I think you are an amazing role model for all of us. Though not everyone has your drive or your successes, it is still very inspiring to hear the facts that could lead to the rest of us pulling it together to look as good as you. I wish you the very best and can only hope to be even half the success you are, as well as be even half as happy. Best of luck to you and yours. Thank you for sharing your advice and secrets.
Maria, you are awesome, keep on inspiring others. Although I shouldn’t be surprised, I’m still shocked by how much hate you are getting. You keep going, Lions don’t listen to the opinions of sheep. My wife is back to her pre pregnancy simply by keeping a half decent diet while taking care of our child who doesn’t sleep through the night or want to spend a second away from us while awake. She is working full time and doing a number of different research projects outside of work. I work 50 hours a week while trying to start up businesses. A lot of people say it can’t be done. I say it can’t be done by them. Keep going!
I guess my question would be, is my excuse good enough. I am a mother of 3: 7, 12,13. I work full time night shift and I go to school full time during the day. My children are all very active in sports 3-4 days a week. I sleep on average 3-4 hours a day. Why do I sleep so little, because there just is not enough time in the day. My average schedule is as follows. I leave and go to work from 10-7 am. I then go home and get the kids off to school. I then leave to go to class myself. When I get home from class it is 1:30. I do a little cleaning up and laundry then I leave to get the kids at 2:30. When we get home it is homework time. Then It is dinner time around 5 and more laundry or homework in between. I then head to bed between 5:30 and 6:00. Get up a little before 10 and my day starts again. Oh and I forgot to add that somewhere in there I take my girls to cheer practice or pick them up because my husband is not home from work yet. So I ask the question of when I should workout and would it even matter with the little sleep I get. I don’t sit on my ass by any means but I truly have an excuse not to work out. Also let’s be honest. Genetics plays a big role in what you will look like when you work out.
Hate much? Omg! Have you been on instagram? Get a clue!. People have picture of themelves all over the Internet with barely anything on. If you are just trolling to spread your hate, why don’t you do something positive and olunteer at a homeless shelter.
I guess you never took my advice and got off Facebook after all your controversy. You don’t need Facebook to make a difference in life. Oh, BTW, in one of your most FAQ’s, people as ARE YOU A FITNESS MODEL?
Well, you are not exactly truthful……you forgot to tell folks that you did pageants up until 2003, correct? Most Pageants girls or ladies, you are busting your butt in the gym, dieting, etc…. to look the part of a beauty pageant girl. So, you have either been involved in fitness or dealing with your overall beauty for many years, so it wasn’t until after your pageants days that you let yourself go a little bit, but I wouldn’t say being 20-25lbs overweight, and being around 150 and now down to 125 is hard to do.
I will say, going from 175 down to 125 from being pregnant, that is vary hard on any new mom, so KUDOS for you on that.
Just be real with people and don’t flash your image all over the internet…..God gives the body, but what’s inside of us and how we convey our message to others, if it comes off as narcissistic, conceded, or with that “I am better than you” attitude, people pick up on that Maria, they really do.
God cared about one word – LOVE…..so if what you are doing with all your “Show my body so the world can see pics of being in shape or aesthetically pleasing to others” is glorifying GOD, then I will say you are not doing a great job in honor our Lord and Savior.
This is why and I hope you take it the right way, you should RUN RUN RUN as far as you can from all the BS social media. Cancel Facebook, get off twitter, have no Instagram, etc….. it’s a waste of time and, just because the WORLD IS DOING IT, doesn’t mean you should do it.
The day you leave Facebook and only run a website where people can comment to you, do your blog, sell your products or merchandise if you want, then you will not have so many people that feel upset with the way you have come across over the last couple years.
Trust me, I am a God fearing man, have lived 20yrs by a Code of Ethics in the military, married, children and have seen a lot over my lifetime. This social media is just CRAP and eventually, you will grow old and tired of it and you will see you don’t need it to get your Godly message of wanting women “Take care of their temples” the way God intended us to. If you are going to “Live By Example for others to follow”, I would suggest stop all the posing and posting your selfies and other pics that do nothing more than cause controversy with other ladies. Can’t you get your message across with out posing in short shorts or skimpy outfits? Can’t you have a few classy before and
Anyway, I wrote to you before and didn’t get a response, so I hope you and your followers read this……If what you do in life does not bring 100 percent honor and glory to God first and foremost, then you DON’T DO IT……PERIOD……HOOAH !!!
I am so disgusted with how hateful people are. I came to this page intrigued in a positive way about this woman and her lifestyle and was shocked when I came down to the comments. Why go read an article or view a website that you are going to be so negative about? Got nothing better to do with your time than sit on your behind and type some condescending rant about something you went out of your way to find that you knew would irk you. STUPID. For those of you shaming her for her body and the shape/condition that it’s in and saying she is a poor example for women, you are just as bad and should be pointing a shameful finger at yourselves. Every women’s perception of beauty is different and no one should be hateful towards any body type – fat or thin. SO STOP IT.
I can relate to this story. I lost 88ibs after I had my daughter. Some women were bitchy and jealous toward me after I got to my pre pregnancy weight. I believe that you have to be a loser to be accepted. Congrats by the way.
Wow!! You look AMAZING! I don’t see anything wrong with your picture or caption; I find it very inspiring.
I came across this picture in a news article, and I’m glad that I did. You seem like a very well-rounded person with a heart of gold. Not many people would dedicate their time to others like you have, especially the elderly. Thank you for being so upfront with your strengths, as well as your flaws- it takes a strong person to do that. You are a true role model, and I wish you and your family/friends nothing but the best in life.
Me am inspired and am now a fan. Ignore all the negative comments. I have been putting away exercise for a while now but after bumping on this blog am ready to start a healthy life style.
Good for you. Prior to today I did not know who you were. Today I saw a Facebook ad of two guys doing a really cool 10 minute workout. I saw your version of that workout. I said great and Googled you. I saw who you were. Then I saw this extensive backlash against your message. Then I read your FAQ. My conclusion. Good for you. I like what you are doing. I respect it. The people who are critical of your approach come off as bitter. If what you offer is not for them, fine, but why try to take you down. You didn’t do anything to them you just offered a healthy alternative.
I am a father of two young twin girls. So I see this issue as the busy parent and as the person who wants good examples for my daughters. So good for you and know that you have motivated one more person.
I wish people would stop blasting their lives online. This just says look at me: I am skinny, pretty, have beautiful kids, own businesses, am successful and smart. What’s your excuse for not being like me? I got off fb because of this nonsense. My husbands family is always bullying me because I am not a skinny Asian girl like them. Sorry but I am never going to be a size zero, no matter how much I diet or exercise. Some people just can’t be skinny. And just because someone is skinny doesn’t mean they are healthy. So discouraging.