I feared becoming a mother.

October 28, 2018

October 28, 2018

Many people think being a fit mom means you aren’t a good mother, that you don’t spend time with your kids and that your body is your number one priority.

I get that assumption – after all, it’s not easy being a fit mom without seemingly sacrificing parts of your life to be healthy.

I’ve been rereading old diaries lately and came upon an entry reflecting on one of my deepest fears. At the time I was in my early twenties and had incredible ambition to change the world via fitness. I was asked by a friend what I feared in my future and after much thought I replied, “I was scared of having children.”

I told him how much my career meant to me and was nervous I wouldn’t have a balanced work/home life. I was worried I would not be able to keep up with single colleagues. I was fearful my body would forever change and I’d come to a point – that I wouldn’t care about my health anymore.

I’m thankful for the early years of social media because when I finally did get pregnant in 2008, I already witnessed people from afar, have healthy pregnancies and fit bodies afterwards. I saw women who were mothers and successful CEOs. I watched women have unconventional marriages with very supportive husbands.

Seeing others succeed, helped me believe that I too, could succeed.

It’s been admittedly hard these last several years, after all, I do compare myself to people who have all the time to focus on their careers, travel and enjoy romantic holidays with their spouses. I do feel like my extra fat cells during pregnancy want to inflate again every holiday season. I do experience mom guilt when I travel for work or when I yell out of stress, fatigue or annoyance.

But that’s ok.

I turned out ok.

When I read my fears in that old diary I smiled knowing that the things I feared, were just that – things. They weren’t real. Throughout the years I refused to give my fears a name, a face, a presence or a role in my life. I focused on what I desired, I stayed committed to my goals and I surrounded myself with people who expected greater things from me. I thrive within a No Excuse Mom community, a group of inspirational women who do more, give more and therefore –  become more. I developed a belief system that I couldn’t help others, if I didn’t prioritize my physical, mental and spiritual health.

Despite my criticisms of being a publicly ‘fit mom’ – I hope living my life out loud helps other women force out their fears and desire their deepest dreams. I am thankful for all the women, throughout the decades, who have lived their life out loud. Thankful for the people who showed that you can find balance, time and energy. You can be a fit mom, a working woman and a devoted wife. You can stand tall without making others feel short.

When you stand, we stand.

You CAN.

Our 2019 Fit Mom Through The Decades is out now! You can grab your copy for $15 here.


The calendar comes with weekly workouts and motivational quotes!


I love this roller derby theme with my No Excuse Mom community in Elk Grove, CA


Super cute remake of “Buns of Steel”

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