April 18, 2011

We celebrated Nicholas’ first birthday this past Saturday. I can’t believe my son is now One year old! It seems like yesterday when this precious being came into my life and transformed my quaint existence into a chaotic yet amazing and loving experience. Christian and Nicholas play ball together now and enjoy climbing on chairs, tables and any toy that gives them height. They love to dance, draw and play. They both have unique personalities too. Nicholas is more dependent, craves affection and progresses faster physically. He started crawling at six months, walking at nine months and grew eight teeth before his first birthday. He’s so soft, cuddly and sweet. I’m going to miss my baby boy as he transforms into a toddler.

My life these days are incredibly different from my life months before.  For the last two weeks, I felt like a full time single’ mom when David flew out to Mississippi to assist his mother while she was recovering from surgery. This was an impromptu trip that we jointly made at 6pm on a Tuesday night. By Wednesday morning, he was gone.

While on the phone with my mother-in-law, Joannie, I asked her how she was recovering and if she had received our package. She responded, What package? You sent me a package? I then told her that David sent her a care package and that she should check her front door. While on the phone with me she went downstairs, opened her door and found her eldest son sitting on her front porch. Needless to say, she was definitely surprised!

Since I’ve been operating independently with the kids, it’s been a whirlwind of cooking, eating, working,  exercising, cleaning, napping, playing, bathing and soothing. Admittedly, I cannot imagine existing in this family without David. As a stay-at-home-working-mom, it’s not easy getting through a day giving everything your focused attention. Even though my to-do list has subsided recently, there is undoubtedly always something that needs updating, folding or cleaning. As I type I’m annoyingly staring at my chipped nail polish wondering if I would take this opportunity while the boys are sleeping to also paint my nails. I’ve always been a polished person. I used to never leave the house looking un-kept. My mother always reminded me that being without earrings is like being naked.

While I always have earrings, I definitely don’t wear stylish clothes or perform errands in heels anymore. Most often, I am running around in sneakers and workout clothes with my hair tied in a bun and a headband securing everything in. I only wear mascara, liner and chapstick. After dressing the boys, packing their bags and placing them in the car, I only have two minutes to get ready. While I long for the days when I used to spend time and effort looking pretty’, realistically, why would I for my friends at play group, or the cashier at Target or the front desk at the gym?  It seems the only time I look like the old Maria’ is when I dress up for a meeting, host a party or attend church.

I miss my old me. 

But I love the new me.

I love playing, bare-faced in the morning in pajamas with my sons in bed. I love hiding under the bed, while watching little legs walk by and hearing mommy mommy?  I love pulling them in a wagon, while they point at animals and chase after birds at the park. I love it. I can’t imagine my life existing any other way. As I watched my little man sleep after his birthday, I can see in his breath how much my life has unfolded and created itself how I created it

how I created him

Setting up for my son’s first Birthday!!! David asked me to do my ‘signature
pose’ with my leg in the air, but I decided to change it up and
revert back to my cheerleading days. 

I can’t believe I gave birth to this little guy one year ago!