Life is not a popularity contest

September 28, 2007

September 27, 2007

I’ve never been popular. Ever.

I never wear the most fashionable clothes. I never interact with the coolest people.  I never do the most sociable things…and probably most significantly, I’m never popular amongst folks because I never say the right things.

My journal entries don’t agree with everyone. My daily activities don’t jive with all peers. My energy doesn’t mix with most strangers. I’m selective who I keep in my inner circle, just as those in my inner circle were selective in choosing me. Not everyone listens, not everyone loves and most importantly, not everyone cares about progressively becoming a better person.

When I’m around friends, we must be both consciously engaging in interactive conversations.
Real conversations involve true listening…a form of listening in which questioning is not considered insulting, but instead, a loving interest to understand a deeper level of what you are saying.
  When I’m surrounded by loved ones, I eat better, I work harder, I listen more, I give more.

When you are in the presence of truly beautiful people, you don’t feel frustration, anger or resentment.  You don’t sense restrain or control.  You feel loved and you give love. Whenever a negative thought does fall on your friendship, it is love that sees the honest intention behind the hurtful misunderstanding.

Friendship is about respect for each other’s uniqueness and feeling good about being your true self.
In the last four days I’ve had short conversations with friends that I want to share:

On Acceptance:
ME: Mom does my shoes match?
MOM: You don’t care if they match, so I’m not answering.
ME: No? I guess you’re right, but do you think anyone really notices?
MOM: If they did, they’d never say anything to you because you don’t care.

On Friendship:
ME: What do you think about my blog?
DAVE: I don’t want to tell you because I don’t want an argument.
ME: It’s not about ‘you’, I asked you about ‘my’ writings. As a friend,
if you don’t put effort into our friendship and give someone real
feedback regardless of how Ill respond, then I might as well have a
puppet as a friend.

On Attraction:
ME: Spence, what do you think about this proposal?
SPENCE: If you want the truth, I like everything but that paragraph. It can throw most people off.
ME: Well good thing since I’m not looking for a ton of responses. I
just want one right person who isn’t thrown off by that paragraph.

On Love:
ME: I’d love to join that Christian group but I felt like they weren’t listening to me.
FRIEND: They told you what it’s all about.
ME: But they didn’t ask me why I was there. They didn’t even ask me
what church I attend. How can you service a person without knowing what
they need?

On Being Real:
ME: Do I look fat in this?
FRIEND: Come On Maria, you preach fitness and confidence all the time
ME: What does that mean? That I no longer get to be human?

These conversations remind me of a night years ago when I was a Club Manager. I was arguing with a fellow manager whose awareness of herself was dependent upon her employees opinion of her. It was mid month, I was exceeding my monthly goals, and that sparked a drunken explosion of insecurity and frustration.

That night, she was adamant in making me feel like I should feel bad about employees talking smack about me. After getting annoyed by her claims, I explained to her that:

This is not a popularity contest. They may not like me, but they have to Respect what I’m trying to do. I live, train and breathe fitness. As a long time veteran, I empathize with their concerns, but I see the big picture and the big perspective is our mission to reshape fitness and not kiss everyones a$*.

I genuinely care about the progress of the clients and the integrity of the staff. Since I created individual goal lists, tightened operation plans and restructured the marketing system, the club is doing better than it had the first months it opened. The Bottom line is that this boat is going somewhere. If you don’t like the captain because you think you can sail the ship, go right on ahead. But this is my boat. And if you don’t respect me, get off the boat.

I don’t impose my beliefs onto others, rather, when I’m around any environment, my sense of self/presence breeds an elevated degree of expectation of also knowing oneself. Knowing yourself is a tight commodity in this soul-less world. The person who more fully knows
who they are is the one that has the strongest foundation to carry the most weight in this world.

They can fight with conviction. They can explain with coherence. They can love without fear and They can live with passion.

Life is not a popularity contest
. No successful person in life has accomplished being who they are while simultaneously trying to please everyone.  So Choose who you love
wisely…and choose who love you wisely. All mirrors in this world are in the eyes of the people who love you

Journal Pictures September 24, 2007

I am notorious for sending out ‘out there’ texts to my very close
friends at all times of the day… Since I’ve been lagging in the
‘motivational department’ lately, I asked Spence (who lives in LA but
the only person I know who wakes up and trains early like me) to text
me every morning. This is what he sent me last Wednesday. (btw: I’m not
big on profane language…but I think it’s funny when I pretend to use

NOW THAT’S how you start a day. haha!

My beeeaauuttiiifffull mama! I was her proud wedding date Saturday night!

Having my weekly dose of wine

The wedding was beautiful! “Tiffany Blue” has been the color of the last 2 years in weddings!!

With my dear friend Spence in San Diego on Wednesday. We were ‘skipping
rocks’ at the bay and for the life of me, I couldn’t skip one. I asked
him: “What am I doing wrong?” and he’s like: “everything!” LOL! I can’t
whistle, I can’t throw and I suck at hand/eye coordination

We took a ride down to Tijuana for a few hours. My heads been spinning
with meetings with friends while here. It’s been back-to-back since