May 14, 2006
I am in the car right now – driving back from a weekend of sisterly gossip, hyper kids, burnt barbeque, hot park slides, long church sermons, sweet candies, soothing wine and motherly love.
While I usually wake very early and train – every day last week I’ve woken up around 7 or 8. I would lay in bed and let the sun’s rays stream into my bedroom while I sit and think about all the things that will call me into action that dayI start dreaming of all the things that I desire, that I want, that I want to achieveand how today I’m going to continue sailing towards that destination.
I start seeing my destination more clearly as each day, each week, and each month passes.
Finding what motivates you – what draws you into action – what forces you to physically move and take control and ownership of your conscious actions is what will determine your ability to steer your vessel into a purposeful direction.
In the past, I was motivated by desire to win, by fear of becoming fat; by longing for parental satisfaction, by need for monetary value, by craving for self importance..today I am motivated by passion and passion alone. This passion stems from the realization that all my longings in the past was motivated by a need to understand that I didn’t understand anything at all – that everything physically attained was all a false sense of protection from the insecure spirit housed inside a body I couldn’t control. <![endif]>
Today I am motivated by a passion to make my existence meaningfulwith a belief that while my body will eventually die, the energy and the essence I gave to this world while I lived will always live on – and with the beautiful, ceaseless, energy left present after my death.so will the eternal spirit and perpetual light that caused my body into existence.
In truth, in order to die, you must live. So many people live today: unmoving and uninspired – caught in the dangerous and repetitive sphere of continuous cause and effectun-allowing their spirit to reach ground and find foundation.
Nothing achieved in this life comes into fruitation without careful attention, loving detail, devoted precision and continuous effort to make it happen. In order to know it – you must think it – and it order to think it, you must allow each morning become a day of new birthand realize that this day will change your life forever.
At Tahjai’s Birthday picnic party on Saturday!
I love her!
She’s playing with my new haircut!