November 17, 2009

My mother had a kidney transplant last week. Hours following the surgery she had a heart attack, in which they had to perform an emergency stent operation. It was one of the hardest days of my life. Exactly one week ago, I was rushing to the hospital with tears down my eyes,
clutching my rosary and sobbing the entire devotional prayer. My whole family sat nervously in the waiting room that evening crying, praying and hoping the doctor came out with good news.

You don’t know how much little control you have over life until you experience a situation when all you can do is give it all up to God.

And God was good that day. My mother survived and is slowly recovering now.

In addition to my mother’s surgeries, I have been non-stop working. Managing employees, interns and programs are showing its ugly sides right now. I’m trying to stay above water with my tasks but feel very overwhelmed on a daily basis. The only time I find true peace is when I fall asleep while staring at Christian sleep every night.

As I type my desk is cluttered with paperwork, mail, random snacks and notebooks. My goal in the next three hours is to take a hot shower, transfer my laptop to the bedroom, complete an article, tidy the house and put Christian to bed.

During times of turbulence I make lists..I keep moving, I keep praying and I keep hoping that while tomorrow may not be predictable, at least I can still depend on my faith. These are times when you Let Go, and Let God. When you begin to see the miraculous beauty in the simplest joys in life.

When watching a baby sleep, taking a hot shower or lying in a soft bed has more significance than the stressful and mundane actions we complete on a daily basis. Those are real moments.

God Bless all of you. Have a wonderful week.