February 17, 2010

I don’t like being around my computer.

That’s probably the first reason why I haven’t been updating this site regularly. An underlying reason behind that demise is how busy I’ve been – it seems the last thing I want to do after a long working day
running around exhausted with a 13 month old baby and a big belly is to get on my laptop knowing that Christian will start hanging on my leg whining for attention after a five minute period.

At the end of the day when I put him to sleep is usually my opportunity for some deep reflection but I often tend to close my eyes and wake up eight hours later wondering where the night went.  Right
now it’s Wednesday morning and as usual, I have my list of things to do written down on a journal beside me. By the end of the day I hope to cross out 90% of those items. While the sun shining through the blinds of my office area makes me want to go hiking, I know I can’t do that right now.

In fact, there a lot of things I can’t do right now.

I can’t sleep in when I want to.
I can’t go on a mini-vacation somewhere.
I can’t go most places without my son accompanying me.

And I can’t go a single day, without checking off things on my to do’ list.

It’s definitely hard to keep on keeping on’, especially when short-term rewards are not evident on a daily or weekly basis. I know my goals will manifest itself by summertime but not anytime sooner.

And that’s a hard pill to swallow.

Sacrifice.  Discipline.  Focus.these words never meant so much to me.

Right now, I’m focused on the far light at the end of the tunnel. Professionally, I know this moment in time is a necessary part of my growth.

This annoying focus and unending discipline is a familiar feeling, for everything I’ve ever been successful in requires this same quiet patience.

When I was studying hard to earn two degrees and a minor during my four years in college
When I was working hard to raise sales goals as a fitness manager at 22 years old
or when I was competing in six contests in just one year.

There was always a quiet solitude involved in the process.

and that’s where I am right now.

I’m working. I’m wanting. But most of all I’m waiting.

Have a wonderful week everyone.