Marriage is a private choice.

September 16, 2009

September 16, 2009

I’m not a big fan of weddings.

I enjoy the ceremony and get flutters in my belly when vows are exchanged, but after that, weddings aren’t on the top of my list of
things to do on a Saturday afternoon. Receptions are usually long, un-entertaining and filled with monotonous speeches and traditions that don’t carry over to the present time. Since I don’t heavily drink and rarely stay long enough to dance let alone the cake cutting, you can imagine my angst when sitting around waiting for another meal course  to entertain me.

I’m terrible, I know.

During weddings, I focus mainly on the commitment and ceremony of a marital union versus the pageantry of the reception.

When I attended my friend Kandice’s wedding this past weekend in San Francisco, I purposely delayed my flight leaving for the east coast because I wanted to witness her special day. When I hired her at 24 hour fitness five years ago she was young, bright, ambitious, beautiful, and I just knew that she was someone special. Whenever I visited her club, we would spend quality time during her break discussing religion and relationships. We dreamt about the kind of man we wanted to marry and encouraged each other to never settle for less than what we both knew we deserved.

Five years later, we are both in different places in our lives. We both met men we envisioned when we were younger women and we are both continuing to build lives off our good and willful intentions.  Last Saturday, Kandice married a wonderful man and I feel blessed to have witnessed their holy matrimony.

Marriage is a serious commitment…an act you must critically contemplate, for it is a lifetime pledge to never give up on a person.

Throughout me and David’s engagement I’ve mulled over every good and bad aspect of our relationship.
I’ve thought about how we fight, how we forgive and how we forget about things that have hurt us. I think about potential problems and possible predicaments.  I think about our faith and our commitment to our family.

I look at the reality of the marital obligation and not just the whimsical idea that you get married, have kids, and enjoy a beautiful suburban, perfect life together. Marriage isn’t about not being alone’ for the rest of your life, it’s about choosing to be someone’s partner every day of your life.’

Loving someone is a choice a conscious decision you make every day.
Not just that single day when you spend outrageous money to have hundreds of family, friends and acquaintances witness you say, I do.
Most often, our biggest decisions, choices and vows are made in the silence and solitude of our private lives.

Have a wonderful week everyone. I will not be posting again for two weeks as I am on vacation!

Journal Pictures: September 16, 2009


God Bless their union.


I wouldn’t miss it for the world!


With my man at the pre-reception.


Rushed back home to celebrate my lola’s 79th birthday!


On the plane the next day! Check out litle man enjoying Direct TV during the flight!


With my Uncle Wes at his beautiful home.


Christian got to meet his cousin!


At a family dinner at Trump’s Country Club.


In memory of my cousin Michael Greenway. God Bless him.