Learning to pray

July 23, 2009

July 22, 2009

As I type, I’m in L.A., fatigued from five days of sightseeing, swimming and being sick. On Sunday I began experiencing symptoms of a head cold or flu. By Tuesday I could hardly breathe. While I feel better today, I still
haven’t worked out in over a week and am still not fully recovered from the busy-ness’ I have experienced these last couple weeks.

Since I’ve been gone, I feel a little displaced in my personal, professional and physical goals. Sometimes I feel like I’m right on target other times I feel like life isn’t the way I wanted it to be.

I recently got contracted to run a fitness program for a local junior high school with a 50k grant.
While it’s very exciting, it also takes a lot of prep work and planning. Being a perfectionist, I want everything to run smoothly and execute successfully.  Due to my intense schedule, I haven’t been able to focus on completing program goals or complete a paid article.  That lack of progress is irritating me a ton right now.

I also started running ten miles total each week a little over a month ago. I feel this has definitely helped in toning my legs and breaking me through my weight plateau. However, I couldn’t complete that goal last week, and due to the travel and sickness, I don’t know if I can do it this week. I hardly weight train and feel a lack of focus in that routine as well.

Lastly, I feel like I’m detached from my family and friends. While I’ve see my family during passing hospital visits, it doesn’t make up for the quality time I used to spend with them in my mother’s room just chatting and enjoying each others company. Everyone seems so busy but moreover, I feel so busy with meetings, engagements and deadlines that it’s hard to catch up.

I guess the biggest feeling I have is lack of quality’ in my life. I feel like I’m seeking to experience REAL moments where I feel synchronized with others, the world and myself. I feel like I’m moving
without realizing the reasons behind my movement.

I used to love being busy but today; I yearn for quiet moments for peace and reflection.

The need for quality’ or something real’ isn’t a new feeling it’s a constant and impulsive search within me that I’ve endured every year of my life. I think it exists in all of us, for in every soul; there is a
well desiring to be filled.

I need to pray more.

I also need to smile more.

I probably need to stop looking at the clock.

Or writing in my calorie journal.

But first thing I need to do is pray.

Praying isn’t just memorized prayers…it’s a conscious moment when you clear a busy mind. Prayer is a time when you get connected with not just God, but the God within you.

I usually close my eyes – sometimes I kneel. I talk to God. I meditate. And I ask to be ‘present’ to this moment…and moreover, present in my life.

Besides professional, personal and physical goals….my most important goal is to pray.

God Bless.

Journal Pictures: July 21, 2009

Little man is learnin how to crawl! At the city pool on Friday.

David is so funny.

I can’t express enough how much he adores being in water.
He immediately starts laughing and moving his arms and legs whenever he gets inside.

Our familia. (That’s David’s Marine pose.)

Christian is 6.5 months now and he feels heavier every day!
Check out my fitness blogs HERE.

At the NPC Los Angeles Bodybuilding Competition with Dave Slagle
at the John Scott Nitro Booth. LOVE their supplements! Check them out HERE.

Dave noticed my butt was tighter and kept taking shots from behind. LOL!
I will save this in my archives as ‘butt after first birth” brought to you by protein shakes EVERY day.

at Universal Studios. That’s me stuck in the shark’s mouth
while David is orchestrating the attack! haha

The Jurassic Park ride was soooo wet and fun! I’m on the bottom left.

yes. We’re nerds…goin to watch Terminator 2 in 3D.