June 29, 2009
My mother had a small heart attack on her birthday last week.
As I write this I am drained. After five days in the hospital and another
So if you can only imagine, my days have been filled with emotional
As we went over my resume with the loan consultant it was humbling to see how I left a life of stability, to a life of a free agent. In that moment, decisions I made…feelings I followed…risks I took…all succumbed me.
And then I thought about the catalyst that moved me back to Sacramento and ultimately influenced my decision to quit a job I loved
My parents visited my place in the city and when they left, I kissed my mother good bye and as I closed the gate she looked at me with glossy eyes and said, I want you to come home. I consoled her and said I would visit soon, but
It is interesting what inspires our decisions in life.
. Passion has always been my reason.
When family and friends finally left me alone with my mom in the hospital, I held her hand and I cried. I cried so much my eyes became blood shot swollen and my heart pained so bad it felt like it was tearing away with hers…I felt sadness, frustration, and longing. I felt angry.
We will never know what happens in life but as long as we live with
I read many years ago that after $30k per year (essentially having your basic needs met), everyone is equally depressed. Regardless if you are rich, thin or married, you cannot escape the natural human tendency to question your existence, your actions and your purpose. It is easy to become confused, depressed, lonely and sad when your life becomes complex with false power, insincere titles and pompous people. We spend much of our life wanting what we can’t have versus appreciating what we already have.
We cannot buy happiness.
Take care of yourself. God Bless.
Journal Pictures: June 23, 2009