October 21, 2013
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. One of my favorite first ladies, Eleanor Roosevelt, once quoted that powerful message. Perhaps if I were someone of higher caliber, my own message – translated through my now-popular-pseudo-apology, would’ve been better received. After all, she and I are both saying the same thing.
What you interpret is not MY fault. It’s Yours. The first step in owning your life, your body and your destiny is to OWN the thoughts that come out of your own head. In other words, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
I posted a picture on my Facebook page, to an audience who understands the amount of hard work, consistency and commitment required to train hard, eat well and stay faithful. I am a physical result of dedication, discipline and desire. In no way am I stating others should look like me – in a world with over 7 billion people, that would be an outrageous statement to make.
What I simply stated was, “What’s Your Excuse” – an open question paired with a healthy image of me and my three boys, for readers to internalize and hopefully become inspired by.
I didn’t know I would be featured on Good Morning America, Inside Edition or defending myself on the Today Show. I never imagined talking to hard newstations like CNN, Fox News, Geraldo Rivera or Megyn Kelly about the impact this single photo sparked across the globe. I wasn’t prepared for every past and present action taken to be analyzed and criticized by the media.
All I knew was I wanted to inspire others.
Despite the media pressure and abrupt changes in my life I’ve been able to stay composed and clear to my truest intentions. It’s without a doubt, been a whirlwind – a journey that has made me lose my appetite, become reclusive and feel unprotected. It wasn’t until I was sitting in a car on the way to JFK airport in New York, when I finally began to cry.
As I looked out the window in a world outside my own, I thought about why this was all happening. In that moment I flashbacked to my earliest childhood fears of losing my mother. I painfully watched her become diabetic in her twenties, have minor strokes in her thirties and a heart attack and kidney transplant in her forties. The pain a child endures watching her mother suffer creates an energy so powerful – that the child, in-turn, creates a volunteer-based nonprofit organization, organizes a free mom-me fitness group and builds a cyber fitness following – an online space where she posted a motivational picture with the caption, “What’s Your Excuse?”
I cried because I still often feel like that little girl, asking her mom to start making fitness a priority. The pain I felt is the same pain I feel when I talk to others about taking accountability for their health. Your body is the only vehicle you will own in this life. So Take care of it. Honor it. Respect it.
I don’t know where this all leads. I just know where it all began.
In Good Health,
Photo by Mike Byerly
I did a blog post about this very thing. I love your motivation and I couldn’t understand why people took it so hard, then I thought about it and think exactly like you do…I hope you read it and continue on your positive journey!
Maria You Are Awesome! Love this is blog. Your mind, heart and voice mean more to others than you realize.
I first saw your picture on another mommy-blog FB hater site that was trash talking about you. Then I decided to read your blog and FB story and OMG – RESPECT! Totally respect you and your hard work – don’t apologize! Like you said, these people feel this way because of what THEY are lacking, not because of what you have done. No one can make you feel someway, you just sparked feelings of insecurity. I am not where I want to be but I have been working on it like crazy – I’m in a rut and not losing anymore. Did I see your picture and go “ugh, I hate her, she has a trainer, nanny, tons of money” Nope, I saw it and thought “ok, what is she doing that I can do. She has kids and a job and a busy schedule, so do I, what can I do that she is doing that will help me out”. These people need to lighten up, look in the mirror and reevaluate WHO is holding them back. Its not you! Great job!
Well said Jennifer! People should be inspired by something like this and if they are not then maybe they shouldn’t comment and maybe not look at Maria’s picture if it causes them to feel hateful. It is Maria’s life and I am sure she has inspired lots of mums . So I think people should use all of the energy they have to take a long hard look at themselves and leave others who are trying to improve their lives alone. I personally love looking at the photo of Maria and her boys as it makes me feel it is possible to be sexy, healthy and a great mum ( and I only have 1 son!) – I live in Western Australia – so this photo reached the other side of the world – I’m glad it did!
You are a true inspiration. I love your attitude and the message you’re spreading. You inspired me to start doing the No excuses program and this is my first day on it. I bet I’m not the only one.
If as a result of this crazy media hullabaloo you’ll get some people more into fitness, then maybe it’s worth annoying some.
Thank you Maria!
Congrats Maria! You are such a wonderful inspiration to those of us that do try to lead a healthier lifestyle. I have the out your most respect accomplishment.
Very well written, well stated and well received. I wish you must success and happiness on your journey through life.
Heh… I agree.
First off, this was posted on your FB page, so people who see them are already your fans. Those who are not need only ignore.
Secondly, this is an inspiring image, not a shaming one. I can speak for myself, at least. I am not slim or healthy in anyway. But you make me get off of my butt to work out. I am also fans of ultra-marathoners and healthy eaters. All of your pages are like my cheerleaders. You know how they say about being surrounded by positive people to learn new things and achieve your goals. This is like that to me. Kind of like learning a new language or a new skill.
Thirdly, I am glad that you got the publicity(hear me out), even though it was negative, because it helped me find you :))
Thanks Maria, you inspire me everyday!!!
I’m so glad that you’ve posted your picture on the web! You’ve inspired a lot of women that I know who want to get back into shape! Thank you very much for this motivation for them to strive for! Also, there’s another woman who’s 8-months pregnant, & she’s still lifting weights & posted it on the web! But nobody said anything to her! So, please keep up the great work!
I will start with, at first I took your post as an insult. Basically thinking how could you be so cold? I am morbidly obese. I lost 50+ lbs last year only to turn up pregnant. I worked my ass off to lose those pounds. When I was at my lowest weight in years, I thought back on my fat self and remembered all my excuses. Remembered how lazy I was, and asked how I could do that to myself. Now, 10 months after having my beautiful daughter I am back in the same boat. I gained WAY too much weight during pregnancy and then had my appendix out at 2 months PP to boot. So these are my excuses: I am a new mom and am still figuring out the ropes. I want to eat what I want to eat. But my skinny self as I refer to her, bitches at me daily when she sees me in the mirror. She cries every day at all the work she did to end up right back where she was. Deep down she thinks that if she goes through all that hard work again, that my fat self will just gain it all back 3 fold. So why even try?
I know what I should be doing, but damn it is hard to stop being addicted to the foods I love. My motivational switch has been deactivated. I want to be as motivated as you are, because I could very easily become your mother. I am only 24. So I liked your page, and I started reading your tips. I have cleaned house and am preparing to change my habits once more. With this post you reminded me why I lost that weight to begin with. You reminded me that I don’t want to get diabetes or have other health issues. So thank you. Even though I could only ever wish to look like you, and I will never be a size 2. Thank you for reminding me that I am living not only for myself now, but for my daughter. Thank you for reminding me of why I need to re-motivate myself.
Good for you Amber!!! Be an inspiration for those around you! Learn healthy living to teach your daughter. You can do it!
Keep up the good work!
So your excuse is that you are a bully? Because, actually, people can make others feel inferior without their consent. They are called bullies. And that is what you have done. People reacted badly to your picture because it was inappropriate, judgmental, and short sighted. If it upsets you that many were upset by it, quoting Eleanor Roosevelt to justify your own insensitivity is not going to cut it. She was wrong, and you are wrong. This post is just a way for you to inflate yourself further, and its sad. You apparently have no real sense of self-worth, or you wouldn’t be trying so hard to place yourself on a pedestal at the expense of others.
You are the bully..not her. Her intentions are good and shame on you for even suggesting anything otherwise.
As someone who was bullied as a kid, I can tell you that a lot of it was all in my head. I let those jerks get under my skin. Luckily I had people around me who showed me how to rise above it and be proud of the person I was. So yes, I allowed someone to make me feel bad rather than just brushing it off and going about my day. Kids need coping skills. So do adults. More and more so every day… GenY’ers are the whiniest generation of pseudo-hippies I’ve ever seen.
Now, let’s all hold hands, agree to disagree and we can ALL pick up our trophies at the end of the awards ceremony.
Wow. Ignorant much? You are the bully. Maybe sit back and re-read what you just posted and think about your words for a minute. Does her quote say “Look at me and my Hott Bod!!” Is she posting pictures of herself flaunting her body while her children sit in the back neglected? I’m glad you feel superior enough to let the world know Eleanor Roosevelt was wrong. Thank you for that information. I’m also glad you have the mental ability to let this woman know she has no self-worth because you are able to determine that as well. You can step down from your pedestal now.
Christine – YOU are internalizing the image and YOU are creating the negative thoughts in YOUR head. YOU are calling someone a bully, but then you CUT THEM WITH YOUR WORDS. YOU told someone who you have NEVER met that she does not have REAL SELF-WORTH. Who is the bully again?
Maria, when you hear words directly like this to you – remember that these are people are reflecting what they feel about themselves. And you can only have compassion for them. Use love in your heart to forgive them. And move on.
I am glad you chose “WHAT’S YOUR EXCUSE?” as your wording. If people were not challenged, nothing would get done in the world. Thank you Maria, for asking people to stand up for themselves, love themselves, and to stop holding themselves back from achieving greatness!
Just because you don’t like what someone says, just because you think they’re being a jerk even does NOT make them a bully. Period.
I do not feel that Christine is the bully! What she said make sense! Maria doesn’t have any self-worth other than what she calls her perfect body!
I’m sorry you feel the need to apologize for something you posted on YOUR facebook page. You’ve worked hard to look and feel the way you do. From someone that needs to lose 50+ pounds your pic/post was inspiring, nothing less.
I agree with you 100%. Of course, when you put words out there for all to see, they’re often taken out of context and deemed offensive. As a blogger/public figure you open yourself up to scrutiny. For example, the way you CAPITALIZE and italicize some of the “MY” and “YOUR” words above may come across as defensive whining or a big old ‘f-you guys’ rather than a bold statement of fact. Which is what it should be! I support what you said but the way it’s interpreted may be different than your intention as well. Got an edit button?
haha. Thanks for the tip
Maria – you look amazing and are an inspiration to everyone who works hard and is proud of it. It IS tough work to look that good and you are showing that and no way did your picture imply that were are ‘shaming or bullying people’. They are just jealous and if you look around the country there are so many unhealthy people, kids included, now that is a shame. And good for you in helping these people, even if they don’t see it this way. More power to you girl and keep the faith up.
Maria, you are very impressive. I heard all the conversation about your ad and had to check it out for myself. As a mother of 3, (6, 5, and 2 years old) I know how much work it is to get back into shape afterwards. I don’t understand why you’ve caused such a stir, the only thing I can think of is jealousy. I saw you on Megyn Kelly as well. You keep right on with your message. Self-confident women are inspired by you, don’t let the rest bother you! You shine in a world of mediocrity!
As hard as it is for you to deal with some of the negative backlash you are receiving , know that it has also brought people to your page that are inspired and motivated by your journey. And thats’s what is important, you blog to reach out to women that need help getting motivated- not to feel validated and you are succeeding! Thank you for sharing your life and staying strong through all this.
I’m so sorry for all the hurt this has caused, but like another poster, I too found you through another blogger who backed you. Had this not caused such a media storm, I never would have. Your photo is inspiring and once I read your blog, even more so. I found so much in common with you. I have been on my fitness journey for about a year and seeing results, but I’m losing motivation. Your image and story is helping me find that again. I love that you are realistic about goals and are honest about your body. Mothers still have battle wounds no matter how fit we are. You’ve helped me to embrace that. You allow yourself cheat days and don’t beat yourself up about it. That is helping me learn to do the same. So while there are haters out there who don’t comprehend your message, there are many more who do and I want to thank you for that. I love the recipes you have posted. Please don’t stop doing what you are doing. This craziness has helped many find you. Thank you for being a inspiration to those of us who want to be healthier and for helping me find the motivation again!
I cannot put into words how much respect I have for you! I just began following you….. yes, as a result of the infamous picture! Pretty much every day I get on FB and surf around looking for fitness motivation etc. I struggle every day to try to be more healthy…. sometimes I’m successful, sometimes I’m not. But when I ran across your photo you had posted, I “liked” it and moved on. Didn’t offend me in the slightest! In fact, as a mom that is nearing the end of raising three boys, I had thought to myself ” dang! Now that took some work!” Little boys are handfuls, God bless em! 😉
It was only with the recent nay saying that I revisted the photo, and then found my way to your blog. I spent a generous amount of time reading various entries you have posted and then found myself following you because I clearly resonate with you on so many things! So much so that I literally gasped out loud to hear that you found yourself crying on the way to JFK. It breaks my heart. I have never ever posted to a blog but I was moved enough to do so now because it bothers me that you have been so beaten up by this! People can be so cruel in today’s world.
Your message is being heard loud and clear for those of us that need to hear it. You’re right, they can’t make you feel inferior unless you let them! (Which is something I need to remind myself of as well.)
Keep your chin up and keep posting. This will pass….. and there will be people like me cheering you on!
I agree with everything you’ve said from start to finish! And yes indeed to the fact that you didn’t know where this your motivations is leading you but you know where you began. Keep letting your history drive you!
I just recently liked your fb page, just after the controversy over this picture hit. And honestly, I don’t understand the issue anyone should have. I truly believe the people that have a problem with that photograph have personal problems that they need to deal with first. Why does a photo that is posted from someone they do not know personally evoke such emotion? It’s obvious they have a deeper issue to deal with. That picture was posted on your page, clearly within your right of free speech, not to mention done with the intent to help and not to harm. I think in this world, people take things so harshly and don’t take the time to think about what the other person might be trying to say. And what is sad is that even after your public apology and explanation of what you were trying to accomplish, there are still people complaining. There are so many people in this world with truly evil motives, that this shouldn’t even be an issue.
It is great that you somehow have the time to workout constantly with three kids and can still afford to eat healthy. You look amazing and kudos to you. You should absolutely be proud of yourself. And I’m sorry you had to see your mother go through what she did. Everyone SHOULD eat healthy and exercise at least a little bit…. BUT, your picture definitely is offensive because, and only because, of the caption. If you had chosen a different one everything you be different. Some people have needy babies that want to be held constantly and are on their own so there’s not really time to work out. Or the energy. I just had a baby 2 months ago and I know I don’t have the energy to work out!! I go for walks but that’s it. Or think about the moms who have sick babies or preemies and spends months in the hospital with their babies. Also I don’t care what anyone says, eating healthy is MUCH more costly and time consuming than eating junk. I’m not saying people should do it, but I know personally I tried really hard to eat healthy while pregnant. Now that I have a newborn I barely have time to eat let alone eat a healthy home cooked meal. Being a mom is hard. Every person and every baby are different. Again, kudos to you, you are a strong and dedicated woman! But you shouldn’t be making other mothers feel bad about themselves for not being in shape, as there are plenty of valid EXCUSES!
I agree with you. Add to that done women have children at an older age and may gain more weight during pregnancy, so they may have a lot more stretch marks and saggy skin below the belly button and on the hips. You cannot exercise that away– if you could I wouldn’t have it. I strength train and run 6 days a week, I have completed multiple rounds of P90x, as well as multiple 5ks and obstacle races. I am currently training for my first half-marathon for my 43rd birthday and have a goal of completing the Spartan Trifecta in 2014. With all that, I will never look like Maria. She has the genes in addition to the work ethic. I don’t. So “what’s my excuse?” for not looking like her. Not will power or lack of effort. It’s simple genetics– I can’t. Not without surgery. I refuse to let anyone woman who has won the genetic jackpot or bought her body to try to make me feel like I am somehow less than for not looking like her. That if I do not look like get I have “excuses.” I too am all for Maria being proud of herself– I certainly am proud of my achievements– but to make it about looks alone and imply that the only thing keeping any woman from looking like her are “excuses” IS insulting to others. Maria is also insulting herself by reducing all of her achievements down to what she looks like in a bikini. From what I see, she is worth more than that along with the rest of her followers and detractors.
Don’t get upset about the haters!! You have more supporters than haters!! I am 43 years old and I train 6 days a week to look like I do. I come from a very obese family and I only weigh 115 pounds. You are the true winner here. I and many others have now discovered your website because of the publicity. We are in your corner!!!
Maria, you are quite the revolutionary, I applaud you!
You reminde of another amazing revolutionist, Jesus, who lived life radically different. (Mark 6:12 msg)
Yeah, He got criticized and ridiculed for it, but inciting positive change in society will always provoke
Fierce opposition, it comes with the territory! Know that you are making a difference!
I’m truly inspired! You have exposed the flaws and insecurities even in my own life, but I choose to
Respond differently, out of encouragement that if Maria Kang can do it, so can I!
There’s another perspective to all of this Maria. All this exposure you’re getting…enjoy it!
Sure, people will do negative PR on your behalf, but it’s free publicity! I didn’t even know you
Existed until the critics started talking! The news media didn’t even think you we’re need worthy until
The “What’s your excuse picture” shocked the nation! Bravo!!!
There’s a positive to everything. It depends how you look at it. This is
YOUR OPPORTUNITY to reach out to even more people! Who cares what others say, really, the
People that need to hear it will be inspired by it –they’ll “get it”!
“In times of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.” – George Orwell
Continue to be revolutionary in the way moms think about themselves. Continue to be mind blowing,
Barrier breaking, pioneering! You’re great! Keep it up!
Oh give me an effin break… she reminds you of Jesus??? Because she is not fat and works out? I know plenty of healthy moms, I am one of them, I am very fit with a four year old at home and both they and I don’t go parading it around for the whole world to see, all overly proud of myself, and then use passive aggressive rhetoric to explain how I really am not full of myself and really wasn’t bullying anyone.
I see mothers of small children just as fit as Maria at the grocery store everyday, so I don’t think she is doing anything that revolutionary.
I have a PhD, I am proud of it, and that is fine, to be proud of your accomplishments, Maria should be proud of her toned stomach and her business she runs… but if I told every person without a PhD “I have a PhD, what’s your excuse?”, it would be construed as rude because it IS rude. Everyone doesn’t want the same things in life, or have the same means. For a lot of women, Maria’s body isn’t ideal, and being in shape isn’t the most important thing to them. And, for the record, you can be very healthy without having a body like this. I think, if she had shown herself jogging in sweats on a beach with her kids, or pushing a jogging stroller in trainers, it would make sense.. but she chose to use a photo that is centered on how perfect she obviously thinks she looks… the tan, the photoshop, the curled hair, the skimpy clothing… it takes the emphasis away from what is supposedly the message (working out and being healthy) to something that seems more about stressing yourself out to meet society’s ideals and bashing everyone else who doesn’t do the same thing.
Thank you! You have given me a wake up call. I have been struggling with obesity for a decade now. Yep, a decade. Yes, I do have Polycystic Ovary Syndrome, but this can be managed. I can take charge. I know what I need to do, I just have to make it a priority.
Maria, you are right, the haters are wrong. One way to show our love for our families is to be healthy. Eating a varied diet, exercise, and adequate rest helps us to live well while we are here with our families. My wife and I exercise 6 days a week (I swim before the kids are awake, after they are in school she goes to the gym). Both of our children are competitive swimmers. On Saturdays, we all go to Family Fitness here in EG and Zumba, lift weights, and swim. Your mission makes us feel like we are part of something even bigger than ourselves. Love your families, and thrive while you are alive.
Wise words by Eleanor Roosevelt, sad that people took it to a different level of hate, inspiration is what you are to most of us and for that I’m grateful. Thanks for beig real, that makes it easier for all of us with kiddos to know we can achieve. With all the attention your picture got I could only think that sadly our society is suffering from obesity and all people could think of was “I’m insulted” please so something about your unhealthy life style. No one said “this is what you need to look like” but learn from this example ! Thank you for being a positive role model to ME!!! Blessings!
The reason we are annoyed is because you took YOUR private journey and made it about what WE aren’t doing. Your “positive journey” should be about YOU. Don’t ask us what our excuse is. You’re conceited and if you didn’t see this backlash coming then you’re also myopic.
Did someone hold a gun to your head and FORCE you to visit her page and view her material??????????? This was originally posted on her page. She did not hack into your account and post it on YOUR page forcing you view it.
Maria – I’m not a hater. Really I “get it”. But this is wrong, for caring for women also means caring for their mental health as well as their physical health. And blaming those who were terribly hurt and offended by this picture – particularly as your stretchmarks have been airbrushed out – is not going to minimise what you have done with this. Victim-blaming and “fat”shaming – its a form of abuse, and posting up faux apologies blaming the people you have hurt for being hurt is exactly what abusers and bullies do. You could never make me feel inferior, Maria. I’m smarter, and more compassionate than you. I’m smart enough to see that with this one picture you have traduced and minimised the hard work, endurance and suffering of thousands of mothers. Single mothers like me, who care round the clock for disabled children, who barely get three hours of uninterrupted sleep. Or mums who work several jobs just to keep their families afloat. You imply with this that their weightgain has nothing to do with the insurmountable pressures on their lives. You imply that they are worthless and weak and that if they just had more self-control they would look like a perfect, airbrushed, made up reflection of themselves. I get it, I really do. You get up at 5 am from choice to work out. I get up at 3 am to mop up an incontinent child. I hear you pray every day. Tell me, did you seek God’s guidance before you judged and hurt so many. Your unkind poster hurt people Maria. Tell me, what’s your excuse?
Super like your comment, Lucy!
I can’t believe that you still don’t get why people were offended, and now are essentially blaming them because you said something offensive. If your caption had said, “Proud of my hard work!” this would not be an issue. If it had said, “I make fitness a priority,” this would not be an issue. It did not. It said, “What’s your excuse?” Your are addressing the reader directly. You are implying that people who do not look like you do have ‘excuses’ and not ‘valid reasons.’ Let me ask you, what emotion did you want women to feel when looking at your picture? You ASKED THEM for their “excuse” as to why they still have 30 pounds or a sagging stomach lingering from their childbirth. Did you really not expect them to feel demoralized and attacked?
The graceful thing to do would have been to put your defensiveness aside, understand where the anger is coming from, and apologize.
Lucy and Maria. Maria had posted the picture to HER Facebook page, and was talking to HER followers, that want to hear about HER exercise tips, and healthy eating style. For you and the rest of the haters to fault her for this and say she is conceited, and inconsiderate, is just very sad and judgmental. Worry about your and your own life and your own family. Clearly you have issues with your own self and body. Only God can judge, or have we forgot about that?
Maria, thank you for being inspirational and I loved the picture you posted. I, too, am a mother of a 7 month old, and I am an avid runner. It is nice to see it is possible to get back in shape after having a baby:)
I agree with you completely Jaclyn. The picture, and the “excuse” comment were all intended for her friends at her Facebook page. Not for everyone else out there. Way to go Maria!
That is exactly what I said in numerous comment sections all over the web last week. This was on HER page! It is not like she took out a public billboard or posted the picture on other people’s pages therefore encroaching on their space with it. If you decided to visit someone else’s page by your own choice and don’t like what you see you have no right to complain. Simply excuse yourself from it and do not return! Period.
I meant Kristen, not Maria.
I think the caption, “What’s your Excuse?” resonated in a negative way with many people because over and over again, we get told that our very valid reasons for things are “nothing but excuses.” The very phrase causes people’s hackles to rise and causes an immediate negative, defensive response.
People that are out there living with lupus, rheumatoid arthritis, or other “invisible illnesses” as they are called, often get told they are making excuses. People who have mental illnesses get told they are making excuses. It’s often done in a derisive, hurtful way.
Whether you meant it in a derisive, hurtful way or not, it’s the way it comes across to some people. You wondered why all this was happening, when all you meant was to inspire. I’m telling you why. Your choice of phrasing was not inspiring at all, and to some people (a good many, actually) it can be very, very triggering.
Fibromyalgia…multiple injuries…2 businesses…3 kid…not in perfect shape, overweight..etc…and I still work out to he level I am capable. That was her message. Using medical or other problems as a foundation to censor others is rather sad. Common sense should (have) prevail (ed), and it is clearly beyond some peoples ability. Her message was simply to get out and try to help yourself be better, healthier, stronger, physically, mentally and emotionally. If you chose to receive that message in a negative light, well, that’s your right.
I can’t find the link but apparently, that phrase actually has nothing to do with working out or fitness. Grr. Wish I could find it. But it has something to do with people with disabilities overcoming them.
Maria, all I have to say is “Good for you.”
The fact that, despite your work and three children, you’ve managed to thrive and look good doing it. Not many people can pull off what you’ve done and I hope other people can look at you and draw some inspiration and stop hating.
Best of luck to you and your family,
Your picture has inspired me! I’m overweight with 2 children and I know I need to make changes not only for my health but to set a good example for them. Your dedication is amazing. Keep up the good work!
I came across your site after seeing a story on the “What’s your excuse?” picture. At first I wasn’t keen on the message of the picture but then I started thinking that maybe it was taken the wrong way and that it was meant to inspire rather than put people down. I’m not a mum but if I was, I would probably have felt depressed when I first saw it. However I’ve been reading through your site and I find it inspiring. It’s good that you show that women can be still be fit after having kids. I like all the spiritual posts that make you think about life and its meaning, happiness and purpose. I felt like I really connected with this site, so I just wanted to say thank you. 🙂
Thank you so much. I really appreciate you reading my writings.
I am also a new follower due to the ‘infamous photo’ – and I totally agree with you !
If it struck a chord with people it is because of something in THEIR life – good, bad, or indifferent. It stuck a positive note with me. YAY me ! I wholeheartedly agree with you and others who have said that people should understand that their reactions are THEIR reactions.
Yes, we all need to take responsibility for our word choices, but the fact that SO many people resonated positively to your photo and caption is PROOF that it is in the eye of the beholder.
Bullies are NOTHING if you KNOW who you are. Bullies only get to you if YOU let them. Because it’s not about what they say, it’s about what YOU believe or ALLOW yourself to believe. No, it’s not fun being bullied or harassed – that is a completely different subject. The stress that goes along with it, the anxiety, wanting to escape it. But no one has to actually FEEL they are inferior or that there is something wrong with them. People truly need to accept responsibility for their own thoughts, feelings, and actions.
There are TOO MANY people who ‘get’ it and ‘get’ you Maria – do NOT be discouraged. You are an inspiration to many.
I have weight to lose. I know my excuses – some of which are in my control and some of which are not so much – – – I can internalize your message in a positive way – can and HAVE. THANK YOU for motivating me to do better, to change what I can, accept what I can’t, and love myself enough to make an effort. 🙂
I love what you’re saying – I feel like people always make excuses for why they can’t/won’t do something! There is no excuse to not live how you want and do what you want in life!
I found your page because someone on my FB was offended by you. Well, I am inspired and blessed by you. Keep doing what you are doing! You are an inspiration!
The good thing is that you now have a whole lot of new followers eager for your next words of encouragement and interested in making their lives healthier. Ignore the negative people…they are really just jealous.
How many months did you breastfeed your kid? Get a life.
murali? what do u knw abt breast feeding? do u even have breasts?
I know what you are trying to say, but to me it did not come across that way.
It was like an “in your face” statement – that if I didn’t look like you, it’s MY fault. Which it probably is – as I know how much work it takes to be fit – but I didn’t appreciate being compared to your body. It’s not inspiring – it’s depressing.
I know what you mean about excuses – if you want to do something, you’ll do it. But I could squat until the cows come home and I will never look like you.
As much as I wanted to go to the gym, I had four small kids, including a set of twins, with a husband that works bazooka hours and next to nil daycare in my small town.
There is no way in hell I would have been able to go to the gym when my twins were that little. I barely had enough strength to go about my daily chores.
Only now that my kids are 7, 4,4, and 2 can I have space to breathe – and part of that space is allowing myself to go to the gym. I love how it makes me feel, and I can see/feel my body getting stronger. So I get what you were trying to get across, I really do.
You can say it’s not your fault how others react to what you posted. I disagree somewhat – I know you weren’t trying to hurt other people (from your apology) but I took it as kind of a backhanded apology – that you stand behind what you said, even though you realize that you did hurt some people.
I think you can be amazing and inspiring and perhaps in the future, use this as a lesson to choose your works more carefully.
Not being negative, just sharing my honest feelings. I don’t want to hurt you either, just giving some perspective from a woman who didn’t read your message the way you intended it to be.
I empathize with where you are coming from. I may not have had twins, but I had three kids all in a row! I know what it means to have sleepless nights, little time to yourself and feel depressed and stressed daily. I am a real mother, just like you, who takes some time to care for herself and make healthy choices when I do get time to eat. I do not make apologies and I hope you are taking more time out for yourself today.
Thanks for responding Maria!
RE: Not making apologies – I think it would be impossible for you to put anything in writing that would appease everyone’s feelings about what you wrote. But that’s not the point I was trying to make (just about choosing words carefully – which I’m sure you know lol). The point is not appeasing people and I don’t envy the strength you’d have to have to read everyone’s comments and not have some of them get to you (I know I would). One good thing is that you get more insight from the people you are trying to help (which is what I was trying to accomplish with my post above).
I am just starting out (started back in August) and I have really gained a new respect for people who work out. It’s hard work – last week I could barely move, it took me 4 days to get over the day my trainer decided we’d work on my lower body! It hurt to go to the bathroom! But that hurt was a good one – made me feel good that I was doing something to be healthier.
I’m very excited to keep going and to see the changes in my body.
One good thing is – I will now be checking out your blog, hopefully it helps me on my journey.
Thanks for taking the time to read my response – means a lot.
I wanted to vocalize my support for you. You are strictly awesome! I would speculate that you came under fire from people who want to hide from the truth. The large television and media outlets would jump on that bandwagon because no one profits from healthy people. You are doing great humanitarian work. Rip that bandaid off peoples sensibilities and show them the bottom line is excuses fill the void of responsibility. Yes things can be hard. Yes things can hurt. Yes medical problems may prevent results. Your message is simply motivational for physical fitness. People should look at your message and say “she’s right! I can do more”. The fact that TV shows attacked you means that their viewers (who have time to watch TV) were upset. I could go on. I don’t write things like this ever. You deserve support. Keep up the good work and don’t let people bring you down.
I am proud of when people can do their goals. awesome work.
its very hard to do. but the head lines of “What’s Your Excuse” is a what’s your problem, lets rub it into
someone’s face, kind of bullying all others that aren’t your size.
Maybe the caption should of been… “IT’S POSSIBLE” 🙂 that way it would of been a statement of Hope for others and its still a great way for you to reflect your self and see that you did accomplish something.
Seriously can’t believe all the haters on this! You’re an inspiration and there will always be people out there who will try their best to bring you down. Forget em, keep posting pictures like this and be proud of your body!
You have no reason to cry on behalf of whiny, jealous, hypersensitive, bullying, soft americans.
Your intentions were pure and wholesome.
I apologize if anyone in my generation (Boomers) criticized you.
This nation was built by tough and hardworking people with “no excuse” attitudes.
You have the right to express your opinion without apology.
I put my life on the line in the US Military so you could have freedom of speech without apologies.
Thank you for being an inspiration.
With great appreciation,
You’re an inspiration to the world. We live in a time when obesity and over eating is the norm and it’s killing us. There aren’t enough people like you trying to make a change. Thank you.
Jack LeLanne said very similar talks for about 95 years, so does millions of other people who love fitness and life. Go girl!
Wow!! Great minds think alike??? http://www.coffeencoconuts.com/blog/whats-your-excuse/ I wrote this post this morning, and tried to tweet it to you! Hopefully it will find you on here 🙂 Keep up the good work and stay positive!
Keep it up! You have inspired me!
I am so glad that you said “What’s Your Excuse”. Otherwise I wouldn’t have known about you and your amazing website. It’s very motivating and helpful. I love it!
Ha! Ha! Exactly what I was thinking! I guess it worked… By some people’s outrage it opened the door to truly inspiring many others who would have otherwise never knew about her….. Yay! I am inspired!!!
I have not seen the appearances on the various shows, and really don’t care to if they are trying to down you. Sorry but I cant stand how sensitive people are and how much they act like how our opinions matter ( mines included). do your thing dont worry about the idiots and if doing what you do makes you a bully, then be the best bully you can be.
People need to understand its a picture of your success and not intended for them to LOOK like you!!! Maria, MY EXCUSE has been being plain lazy! I am usually very tired all the time since I am a wife and a mom to a toddler, work full time, go to school full time and still need to go home and cater to my family’s DAILY needs no matter how tired I am. When I first saw your picture you made me realize I had no valid excuses; I had just made them all up in my mind. Because of your picture, Now Im taking little steps to becoming a healthier person! it will take me time to get there because loosing weight and eating better is not a quick fix but a lifestyle change ! For all that got offended must be because their insecurities must also be that big. Also to the haters ” If the suit fits you, put it on and if not then move on”!!!! WE all have a little time, even if its 10 mins of jumping jacks, but decide to blame everything around us of why we can’t. Thank you for the picture, your daily FB posts and all your inspirational blogs that I Truly enjoy reading. Don’t hold back from posting pictures of how hard you train and how good you look! Many are just self-conscious and jealous of your determination!!!
Maria, I heard a debate about you on the radio the other day and the first thing I though was, “Geez, this poor woman is working hard to be a good mom, take care of her body and her health (and the health of her family) and people don’t like that. It makes people look in the mirror and they don’t like what they see so it is easier to be the victim and make Maria the bad person. Let’s get real, people. This is 2013…we have obesity problems so epic in this country and around the world now. Why are we so mad at someone that puts in the time and effort? This comes from another working mama that puts in the time in the gym, at bootcamp, at home and wherever I go. It is not magic and I laugh when people say, “Oh, you are just lucky.” Really. Hard work is more like it. Keep your eyes on the prize girl and ignore the negative people. Blessings to you and your family.
Amen!! Very well said. Couldn’t agree more!
To a certain extent I agree that how people interpret something is up to them. On the other hand once we utter words in a public way on Facebook where they can be potentially seen by anyone, we also must take responsibility for potential outcomes that may come about.
If you are upset by the opinions of others, you have some ownership of that as well. Free speech isn’t a one way street. You voiced your opinions, others can voice opinions that you may not care to hear. Should we feel sorry for you since you cried? I certainly don’t…seems like you aren’t exactly following your own advice.
I generally don’t comment much on Facebook, other than on the most neutral things…baby and puppy pictures. There has been times where I have felt like jumping on a bandwagon but I just didn’t feel like dealing with any future consequences.
If you take a basic communications class you’ll realize that even though you intended something in your message, the delivery may be such that people don’t understand in the way you intended it to be. Yes you do bear some responsibility, if people aren’t understanding the message they way you wanted them to.
First, I want to tell you, congratulations on your accomplishment. Its very hard work. You look great, and you do deserve a kudos for what you’ve done with your life.
I do have a couple of issues with all this going on though. In the news story I seen, it says you struggled with eating disorders. Which means you must have felt the pressure to be a certain way, wherever that came from. And I feel that picture is great, but the words “What’s Your Excuse” is a pressure tactic that could send a vulnerable person in a very wrong direction, and you being a person who had/has an eating disorder should have recognized that. I can guarantee there are thousands of young teenage girls on the Pro Ana/Mia sites looking at your photo with the caption that is posted on that site right now using it as “thinspiration”.
I am a mom of three, have dealt with anorexia for 19 years, has always been thin, smaller than you even. I never overate during my pregnancies, and was placed on an Nasogastric tube during my pregnancies to make sure the baby was getting enough nutrition. But after my third pregnancy, my belly never went back to normal. The skin was loose and the muscles had separated in the middle and never went back together. This was something I had no control over, and after a few years of working out to get it back to normal, I was told by my GP and a reconstructive surgeon that I would need surgery to repair the muscle separation (diastasis recti that happens in A LOT of pregnancies). After my 3rd was born I worked so hard to get my stomach back to normal. Then relapsed back into my eating disorder when I couldn’t get rid of that horrible stomach when I knew I could do it on previous pregnancies. I used the excuse that I didn’t have time to eat with a new baby and a two year old at home and a very active preteen that needed to be carted everywhere. I lost a lot of weight from not eating much and exercise. I did weights and cardio and still couldn’t get rid of the pouch no matter what. My youngest is now 5 1/2. When she was 4 1/2 I had to go away for 3 months to an eating disorder rehabilitation center. I did good a couple of months after I got home then slowly fell back into old ways. You say you’ve been crying? When I seen your picture with that caption, I broke into tears. Not because of how you looked, even though I am jealous of you for that, lol, but because I felt berated and belittled for not being able to get my body back like you did after my 3rd baby. That was a day after a lady in my neighborhood felt my lower belly and asked me if I was pregnant again.
In this world today, people rarely take responsibility for their actions, blaming it on the other peoples perceptions of things. You and others are saying its up to the person whether they feel judged or not. Its up to the person how they interpret what you say. But I know, deep down inside, you really don’t believe that. That would be like saying a the homosexual kid being bullied just misinterpreted what the bully was saying, so its his own fault he killed himself. People need to start taking responsibility again for how they are coming across to people. For how they are playing with peoples minds and self-esteem.
You talk about how you have been feeling through this whirlwind. How you’ve lost your appetite, become reclusive and feel unprotected. But according to you and others commenting on this post, this is YOUR issue, this is how YOU are interpreting and internalizing what other people are saying about you, so I should not feel bad for you because you have broken down into tears & that no one should feel bad after reading your post for all the things they are saying and after reading the things you have gone through when you were a kid. All because its YOUR FAULT for the way you feel. Now… do you really believe that? I don’t believe you are blaming how you feel right now on yourself. And I don’t believe that you are that shallow to believe that what you wrote on your picture wasn’t in bad taste and hurtful. I believe that at the time, you probably didn’t realize that how you were wording what you wrote was wrong, and I believe that now you know, but you have your back up because of all the negative attention, and if you didn’t have your back up, you would probably give a real heartfelt apology and change what you wrote on the picture, rather then the “apology” you have given. I believe you have a kind heart and know what the right things to do is. I wish you the best and will pray for you that you never relapse back into your eating disorder.
I think you are beautiful! I also think you do it for business and with this message wanted to inspire women. Nothing else. It’s how you interpret things. Yes, you are a pleasure to look at. And yes, I agree, obesity is not a fault. It’s preventable by those who are suffering from it. You define your destiny.
I appreciate the message, “What’s Your Excuse” and I am not offended at all. I wish you and your family the best of health. You have inspired me to continue with my own personal goals of weight management, exercise and diminishing my self-deprecating thoughts and comments. My health choices are based on recovering from an unexpected injury, a number of years ago. The only person we can change is ourselves. And those we can influence and inspire, through our own example and sincerity are limitless. It’s unfortunate that some people do not understand that when someone succeeds, they can share in their success by support and good thoughts…and in turn, these thoughts can become actions to improve their own lives…when they are ready to make that change. Maria, I wish you continued strength. You have inspired many to think about their own health choices. It takes a lot of discomfort and pain before changes occur. You have struck a raw nerve in a lot of people. They make not like it now…but in time, they might realize you are one of the messengers they needed to take that first brave step to better health.
In a world where we see kids killing each other in schools and killing themselves because of bullying, I don’t understand why a person needs to shame others to get them to do things. Ms. Kahn, you are a very pretty person in the outside. But as an eating disorder survivor, I can tell you please get help. You obviously have never talked to a psychiatrist about your ED. The mentality that you are less than because you don’t conform to a physical standard is typical of eating disorder sufferers.
When I went to your Facebook page and read about how many people bully others there because they are “lazy cows who are just jealous” I realize that a bully attracts more bullies. Look around you, babies are killing babies because we as a society lack compassion.
I hope you find peace. If having the “perfect body” gives you peace, good for you. In my case, I might be one of those “lazy cows” your followers talk about. But I am loved by many and do not need to bully people to make them like me. And honestly, your children are watching your behavior too. So look at yourself in the mirror next time, not only the exterior but the interior and think how your words can hurt or make other people.
I am a compassionate human being who does not bully, what is your excuse?
I’m sad that people took your positive message in a negative way. I’m sad that today people have to defend themselves for staying healthy (and good looking, I might add), almost like healthy lifestyle is something to be ashamed of. Somethimes it feels like instead of giving my body what it really needs (healthy food and exercise) people think I’m denying myself everything and I should relax and eat junk. But let’s face it, who’s body graves for a potato chips? Or who actually feels better when sitting all day long everyday?
It’s really not that hard or exepensive or time consuming. It’s not a project you have to start and finish. You make some healthier choices everyday and someday you don’t even have to think about it anymore. Of course you can choose not to too. But be honest about it.
Greetings from Finland! You made it to the news in here also.
I’ve given some thought to your question. I don’t have an excuse. I have several. I was still grieving over the death of my daughter while taking care of my newborn, breastfeeding my baby while caring for my toddler and tending to my dying mother who neglected me as a child. Thank you for asking. Your picture inspired me. It reminded me that humility and kindness are treasures that shouldn’t be taken for granted. I have dear friends who may not be physically attractive but are beautiful in my eyes because of their kindness. I’ve also known beautiful people who looked ugly to me because of their arrogance. Thank you for sharing your journey. I have a compassion for people with eating disorders. I fear that what was meant to be an inspiring picture to be physically fit may be hurtful to those who have had difficulty reaching their fitness goals, especially those with eating disorders.
Hey, just read your story here in Brazil, and I think that is a great example, I totally understand what you meant. Don’t be sad about what other people think, let them have their blindfolds. I’m with you and I’m taking your example to get in shape and have a good health. No more excuses! =)
Hey María, i want to know if you use any creams during pregnancy, besides exercise and have a balanced diet?
hope your answer
God forbid anyone should tell the TRUTH about why people are not healthy. Fitness and eating right is not easy and THAT IS THE WHOLE POINT. If life were easy we would all be fit+healthy all the time. That is why we respect a soldier in uniform…it is NOT EADY OR FREE to wear it. Do not pay any attention to people bad mouthing you Maria… they use blame, victim cards, and irresponsible conduct to justify doing what the KNOW is irresponsible… and the TRUTH HURTS. There is only one response for such people:
“welcome to life…it isn’t easy, free, nor SOMEONE ELSE’ fault….get used to it and man up for once in your life. Only then will results occur”
Do NOT cave into pandering to these morons Maria… the truth hurts… big deal… they need to get used to it and blowing sunshine up their rear ends will STILL result in the same results they produced all their lives.
Remain on the side of truth, even if it hurts. Welcome to life… it’s not free nor easy.
You’re awesome!!! You should never apologize for working your butt off at home, at your job, and in the gym. I saw you on Bethenny and it bothered me when the one woman stood up and said it’s not supportive (or however she worded it); you are being supportive, you’re showing people that it can be done. She should know that no one will EVER look the same, but if you feel good that’s what counts. This was so blown out of proportion and I feel awful that this is what you have to go through. People just like to get down on others because they just make excuses. Keep up the AMAZING work and don’t EVER let these people get you down! You have enough supporters behind you!
Maria, you are AMAZING and a true inspiration to all women! When I first saw your picture – I thought WOW – to look that fantastic took a lot of dedication and hard work – good for her!! I was SO surprised by some of the negative comments and the media storm that followed! How anyone could translate that picture negatively is beyond me. In my opinion, the ones posting negative comments are those people that in fact ARE making excuses as to why they can’t look as healthy and fantastic as you do. I found your blog through all of this – and am just loving your writings. You are AMAZING!
I deal with sugar addiction and my weight has gone up and down my whole life. It is a constant struggle. What I have found during times of strength when my weight has gone down is that people get very snarky. “You’re getting too thin”, at 5’3″ and 140, I’m pretty sure I wasn’t too thin. “Well, not everyone can swim, bike, run like you do, we have commitments,” because, yeah, I don’t have anyone or anything else in my life – I’m single and I support myself and have friends and family etc. People suggest that the activity I do is over the top or harmful, they believe they couldn’t possibly give up sugar, they believe all kinds of things that aren’t true. They believe that you were calling them out for being fat where I see a woman who is committed and just telling people it can be done if you commit. I’m shocked at the level all of this got to and I congratulate you on telling your truth and not letting anyone shout you down.
You’re inspirational, and after following you for some time, I KNOW that you are a genuine, caring individual who isn’t trying to attack others, but simply ask them to take ownership of their life, and STOP MAKING EXCUSES! keep doing it!
Maria! I think you are great!!! I just started following you from what you probably refer to as negative publicity, but all I’ve seen is lots of positive followers! Okay, I’ve seen a few negative comments, and that is why I am leaving this message. It is so EASY for even us as your followers to get wrapped up in all the negative attention you are getting. I get defensive. I get ANGRY. I get annoyed that people post all of their excuses all over your blog/FB page. I am SO OVER IT!!!!!!!!! So I ask you, without down playing all the pain and hurt you’ve gone through over the last few weeks, CAN WE MOVE ON!?!?!?!?!? I am ready for a different focus. I am ready to hear about your fitness and health advice. I am ready to see your fitness, health and life successes, including those of your followers. Keep inspiring people. Keep working hard. Lets get back to work!
Perspective – many books about living a healthy lifestyle would have a picture like you posted on it and people would buy it Bc A. You are in shape and can manage to prioritize with a busy schedule and family life and b. they want help to get healthy- I don’t understand what the difference here is?? Go to a book store and you would see captions like this everywhere…
Unfortunately your perception is skewed. (Just like everyone else in the world.) You base your life on your own experience, yet by asking what’s your excuse, you somehow think that perception is not reality. You perception is YOUR reality. Sure, good for YOU that you are able to overcome YOUR obstacles. However you cannot assume that simply because everyone is not like you that there is some sort of excuse.
How about if I asked you, whats your excuse for losing your appetite? How about if I said that obviously you are *choosing* to feel like crying, because no one can make you feel that way with out your consent?
If you are happy with yourself the way you are, this is great! But you are out of your mind if you think you can influence other people to make changes for the good in their life if you say “What’s your excuse?” This is not motivational for anyone OTHER THAN YOU, because you live in your own reality.
Just like these old advertizements; YOUR ad will be considered obsolete, because it is SUBJECTIVE and not based in anyone’s reality but YOUR OWN.
Look, the photo she posted on her facebook was for her fans that are inspired to be like her–which is FIT AND HEALTHY.
They share the same goal of being FIT AND HEALTHY, they put that as a GOAL as a PRIORITY.
What she’s trying to say is that IF YOU WANT TO ACHIEVE SOMETHING IN LIFE DON’T GIVE EXCUSES…
She does not belittle people who doesn’t look like her.
I’m pretty sure she just wants everyone of her fans to make an attempt to lead a healthy life, instead of caving in to making excuses being unhealthy like her own mother did.
ps: search “what’s your excuse” on google. You’ll find BUNCH of fitness ads/pictures. It’s a slogan that inspires other fitness loving & healthy minded people to always find time for fitness.
Ali – This is a good legitimate response. Well written!
“Unfortunately your perception is skewed. (Just like everyone else in the world.)”
wow…so u r the only one in this world with a normal perception?? it must be something to be you!
Maria you are wonderful! Keep on doing your thing!
Hey Maria, just think… Now you’re REALLY famous.
I support you completely and applaud your strength, resolve, and discipline. You are an inspiration to me and to many others. Haters gonna hate, and it has NOTHING to do with you and EVERYTHING to do with themselves. So stay true to who you are, because a personality worth having is a personality worth sharing. Don’t ever let critics rob you of your freedom to be 100% yourself. Hug!
You are beautiful. Your kids are beautiful. And I think your picture, and slogan are beautiful. Keep it up–ignore all the negative comments and keep doing what you love to do. You are an inspiration to so many people–and I believe more people out there are inspired by you, your blog, your story, and this picture than you think. I have trolled through comments, remarks, and threads based on your famous picture with out having any opionion at all–until today I finally took a look at your blog. I can’t even believe what negative hype people bring to this. I am overweight—by a lot. I need to lose at least 50 lbs–maybe even more. I have always used excuses as to why I am overweight. Always. From the very beginning of attempting to lose anything–I make excuses as to why I cannot. Your picutre is eye opening. Even if you were thin by genetics–even if you worked out daily interfering with your “wife duties” and “kid duties”, even if you were a personal trainer for 10 years full time—so what? You do what you want and what is good for your body. Period. Yay for you–your health, and your beliefs. Yay for your inspiration, and yay for your tactful comments, posts, and attitude. I hope to have even half of your priorities. I don’t have an excuse anymore. Thank you 🙂
I wonder how much television is watched by those who are “offended” because they have no time to work out.
Thank you so much for being an inspiration! We, as woman have to encourage each other,live as examples for each other, and celebrate in each others victories! You’re leaving a legacy of empowerment for your children and for those who choose to be inspired. Let us hear you roar!
Um…..if you wanted to “inspire” people, you could have put a positive message out there, something like “What motivates you?”. The whole “what’s your excuse” is very in your face, accusatory, that people aren’t as good as you are. So this whole “apology” thing about it wasn’t YOUR fault how other people took your message? Bullcrap.
the sad fact is…those offended will find something offensive about the pic even without the caption.. because deep down inside she reminds you of what u are capable of but still dont chose to do it because u cant get over ur lazy ass
Good job. You work hard and it shows. I’m a single mom on maternity leave. I have no time to exercise independently. But I run with my 10 month old in my jogging stroller. I walk everywhere and almost always am wearing my daughter in her carrier. I eat whole foods and am a vegan. I breastfeed and feed my child natural foods. In my opinion, if a single mom can be healthy and fit with no help, there’s no reason why everyone else can’t.
Honestly, it is your page, but you know you have influence and “what’s your excuse?” is just negative. That picture with that caption immediately grossed me out. I look up to strong women. Women like Wllen Degeneres and Tina Fey and Jillian Michaels. These women are passionate and care about others and I’ve never seen or heard anything from them that sounded derogatory and pretentious the way your post did. If your goal is to inspire, then maybe you should get a new perspective about WHY you want women to be healthy. Tearing down their self esteem isn’t going to inspire anybody. No hate at all. Just honesty from what that picture spoke to a female college student who is active and admires strong women.
Jillian Michael is worse than maria. maria isn’t even bad. Just because she posted a picture does not make her a bully.
As long as you knew in your heart that you have good intentions… then nothing to worry about.
I believe the issue on was sensationalized because you represent women in society who are fit and ontop of the game. You were bullied because your strong…
You’ll overcome this. All will be well!
Greetings from the Philippines
I can tell by your story that your comment wasn’t meant to insult anyone. In your position why would you ever want to do thar… We aren’t responsible for the way people interpret what we say! Maybe you hit a nerve and that’s why they are lashing out, but I say “keep doing what you do”!!! You’ve obviously helped WAY more folk than you’ve offended so please don’t let a few ” haters” make you stop !!!
Maybe peoples “excuses” are: they’re too busy making people laugh, spending time with people they love, enjoying nature, cooking healthy meals, and living their lives to worry about how skinny, tan and hairless they can look in a bikini. Maybe that’s all it is Maria. Maybe they don’t care what people think about them to te magnitude that you clearly do.
and what is yours? food? big fat lazy ass ?
It’s obnoxious that you’re trying to play the martyr. Being healthy and being a snotty attention seeker and two different things. If you really want to inspire people to healthy, then get off your high horse. It’s gross.
bitter fatty alert!
God I hate you fat fucking slobs! Ariana you are disgusting and you should kill yourself you fat cow. If you have kids they should be taken away. Whats gross is your fat hanging all over.
why would you talk to someone like that. are you on drugs ? maybe we can educate on why you find it useful to call someone out like that. gosh your language and wording is scary.
My weight, like so many women’s, has bounced up and down on the scale. Everything from birth control, pregnancies, injuries, etc. can be used as an excuse. However, when I am honest with myself, I can say my excuse is being lazy, unmotivated, a love of soda with pizza, and sleeping in when I should be working out. I know how easy is it to lose weight when I am motivated (for me) and how hard it is when I am not. When I really want it, I demand support from the people around me, I allow myself to splurge, and I am dedicated. The picture Maria posted did nothing short of inspiring me to take my diet and exercise to the next level of commitment…put the soda down and get on my treadmill.
Eleanor Roosevelt also said, “Do what you feel in your heart to be right- for you’ll be criticized anyway.” For as many people that are responding negatively to your image/statement, there are probably more that are being inspired by it and making themselves answer that question. And you know what? There are going to do something about it! So when you struggle with the negativity, just know that you are touching more lives than you think in a VERY positive way. Your lifestyle, commitment, and discipline is something to be admired and I think you rock for it! 🙂
Don’t think you are just inspirational to women. I’m a soon-to-be single dad, and I look for great role models wherever I can get them… you are just that. The “what’s your excuse?” motto is universal.
Keep it up !
“… made me lose my appetite, become reclusive and feel unprotected.” The consequences of our actions sometimes have big effects. But why the appetite loss, reclusivity and “feeling unprotected?”
I’m sorry, were you feeling the same way that millions of overweight people who feel bullied every day feel? Look at you make an EXCUSE, Maria! How dare you? There are no excuses for the fatties, why should there be for you? Do you know how to spell HYPOCRISY? Maybe if you didn’t support the fat hatred so you could make a dollar off fitness, you wouldn’t have had to experience a minor period of your life imagining what it must be like for a large person to live that way ALL THEIR LIFE. You’re a bully. If you really cared about your mom, you wouldn’t bully others who are overweight, period. The childhood psych crap is more bull to try to make yourself look good, spare us.
She’s the bully!?! Great, we know that you can SPELL hypocrisy, but I think you might want to look up the DEFINITION of the word!!! Your post is the epitome of hypocrisy! Your comment is way more bully-like & a personal ATTACK than her, “what’s your excuse” caption on a picture that he posted on HER Facebook page. You need an excuse for your behavior more than anything!!!!!
OMFG SHUT UP YOU FAT PIG!!!!! She is a positive influence and we should bully you fat tubs of shit youa re a drain on the health care system. Either fucking die from a heart attack or kill yourself M.B
STFU FATTY, how much did Maria Kang actually paid you to say things like that to hurt other people? I mean, why are you behaving like a barbarian? Everyone has right to say what we think and so do you. But DO NOT hurt others by name shaming just to side Maria Kang.
I am sure Maria Kang must have paid you thousands for your comments. If I were to be paid thousands, I won’t working for Maria Kang too! Please tell Maria Kang for me, will you?
Get off the internet, you self loathing fat woman. Maybe exercise will make you feel better. Or get laid or something.
Wow. I didn’t think the photo was accusatory or demeaning or anything like that. It certainly made me jealous, though. I’m 42, 5’4″ and have a 15 and 10 year old. When I hit 40 and got burned out at work I gained weight. It took me a year to pull myself out and start focusing on my health. After a year of boot camp 3x a week, weekly soccer matches, occasional running and constant monitoring of my food intake I’m at 129lbs. It is hard work for me, takes lots of dedication, and persistence. I don’t look anywhere as good as you, but I am truly happy with the way I look, the way I feel, and what I did to get here. I can understand why you are proud of your accomplishments. We all have different goals and sometimes we need reminding to quit focusing on the obstacles and just get to it.
People just want something to complain about. Today it was about your photo. Tomorrow they will move onto something else. Keep doing what your doing. I think your an inspiration and just reminded people that you can have what you want with hard work. People today just want what they want without the effort and life doesn’t work that way. Keep it up!!
Fit, wise, professional, articulate and kind. Nothing to worry about. Sorry for all the stress and drama. It is hard to filter sometimes, I know. Keep taking care of yourself, your family and sharing good advice. You will continue being great!
Notice how all the haters are fat?! LoL!
Of course they are…:)) And they feel ashamed.But better then feeling bullied and ashamed it would be start doing somenthing.
How do you know they’re fat?!
I am overweight, and far from fit, and I found NOTHING accusatory in your message. I am fully aware that I am overweight due to a combination of pre-existing skeletomuscular issues, and my previous lifestyle choices (both food and exercise), and you know what, I don’t consider either of those a “good excuse”.
You should rightfully feel proud of yourself for everything you’ve accomplished, and I certainly admire you for it.
All the people who are reading something negative in your message are either seeking to blame you for their own unaccomplished goals, or are jealous that you’ve been able to reach your goals and are projecting their own insecurities and poor self-esteem onto your post.
Keep it up.
I started to read your posts one week ago.More I read, more I like you! Today I watched some videos and interwies, etc. The first words that come into my mind when I see you, are always ,,You are so, so beautiful!!”. Beautiful as a person, as a woman, as a mom, you have such an amazing energy, you make me smile and you definetely made my day!
Maria you are doing a very good job! Having three little boys is already a full time job!
Your picture is inspirational for everyone who care about their body? Our body is a gift we get and is the only body we are going to have in this life and our duty is to treasure it and to do the best we can do with our body. You look fantastic and I know there is a lot of work and determination to get at the stage you are. Do not get upset with negative reactions, there always will be someone with excuses. There is not any excuses for most of us. Everybody has, at least, 10 minutes a day to exercise. Keep doing the best you can do and do not let all this frustrated people with excuses to put you down!
No one could put her down, she is too strong and determinated…:)
When i first saw your picture, I was angry. I thought : How dare she tell us that the only reason of our obesity is that we find excuses not to take care of ourselves. Your sentence is too short. Reading your article, i understand your goal but you’ve made a mistake : by presenting you as a winner, you tell us we’re loosers. The same image with another sentence like : “I managed to do it, so you can too” would have been more gentle to us. A winner-winner relationship. Roosvelt’s motto goes in this way, your sentence goes in the wrong way. For example (with my skills) : “I’m a women and also an ingeneer in mecanic and physic. And you, what’s your excuses ?” I’m sure you understand the violence of this sentence, meaning : why aren’t you as smart as I am ? whith work, you can do this !!! You’re young, and new in psychology/communication, but now i’m sure you’ll do the right thing the next time. Be carefull and test your idea with other people than your family to have different points of view. I’m sure you want the best for everybody, so keep on trying. Have a long career !
…What? She wasn’t being forceful! She wasn’t doing anything “negative”. It really is about the person reading it; the “woe is me” mentality is yours and yours alone to conquer, not someone else to sugar coat for you.
Maybe if you would have worded it this way or that way blah blah blah. How dare you tell us our obesity is because we make excuses? bECAUSE IT IS! Maybe if you get mad enough at people pointing that out you will stop making excuses. She didn’t post that picture to baby people into maybe wanting to be healthy. She pointed out the truth. No she didn’t need to be worried about hurting someone else’s feelings. She was trying to motivate and sometimes a little pain or honesty will do the trick. The thing is all of you complaining about why you aren’t in shape and listing your “reasons” for it as a defense that she is wrong and you aren’t making excuses are just MAKING EXCUSES and listing them for us to see. Stop being babies and get off your asses. I am so sick of living in a society where everyone gets their damn feelings hurt all the time. Grow up! This is the result of parenting so teach your kid to be a lazy excuse making sensitive whiner or to be strong independent healthy doer.
Maria, please keep doing what you are doing because u are an inspiration. Keep yourself strong, we love you. U are a inspiration. Your energy is bellisima. We need people like you!!! love from Dubai!!! Do you have things to sale with no excuses words? Ciao Bella
Good for you Maria! I am overweight (but trying to lose!) and found nothing at all offensive in your post. If more parents would pass on a legacy of fitness to their children we would finally break the “obesity epidemic”. You are a wonderful person and a great mother!! BRAVO!!!
Please do not apologize. The media selfishly used your good intentions and turned them around to once again put something negative on the news. I typically do not watch local news because it has become mostly negative stories. However, the other day I had the news on in the background and heard something about your story. I glanced at the TV and saw you with your beautiful children and thought to myself, she’s doing something right just look how beautiful she is. I immediately went to your website and could not stop reading. I use to take great care of myself before I had my precious two children. However, it seems like there is always an excuse or priority that needs to be taken care of before putting time into me. Your website has inspired me in ways that I could never explain in the message. I started eating healthy and started exercising and I feel fabulous! You are truly just as beautiful on the inside as you are the outside and this world is a better place with you in it. I hope you keep up the great work and keep inspiring people to be the best they can be.
Maria & Stacey,
I feel the same way. I actually don’t watch any tv and only saw a clip when picking up dinner at a local resturant (totally by chance). It really made me think. A few days later I printed off Marias picture for my motivation board. I am hoping it will inspire me to workout on those day that I really don’t want too.
Thanks Maria for you motivation.
Hi Maria. Just wanted you to know that your image is inspiring to me! Thank you for sharing and being awesome.
Thank you!! What’s crazy is people missed a valuable point. Like you, so many mom’s take an active role after having a child to get back in shape. What about dad? Why aren’t more dads with kids getting into better shape to give their children’s mothers a good looking partner to match them?
Thank you Maria both for sharing your inspirational photo (cute guys too!) and your transparent and heartfelt story. All I can say is “YAY!” Back in the late 70’s when I was in high school there was a popular graphic and saying on a t-shirt – “Don’t let the turkeys get you down!” I think that’s rather fitting. I applaude what you are trying to do and frankly, your question has made me think. Goodness… have I got a list of excuses. My goal now is to just bypass one excuse at a time until I reach my goal. Amen!
I honestly didn’t care for you post I saw it and moved on and I had twins and skill struggling with my weight not that I’m lazy it’s that working, going to school, and twins takes up my time and when I do have the time i want to sleep LOL so anyway. If I were as sensitive as others about my imperfections I too would of been like uhmm? say what!? ruuuude… I think what you should have said IF I CAN DO IT SO SHOULD YOU! or something a long those lines, but I do admit now that this is posted everywhere other than Facebook and hard to miss… I am a little jealous in a good way so thanks because it’s encouraging… ha ha. Perhaps those “haters” were or are still jealous.
As I have caught the story and media frenzy that even hit here in the local radio station, I did look at the picture of you with your 3 children and found nothing wrong with the message. One of the things I am learning to struggle with is accountability as I am a 5’9″ 300lb man who has struggled with his weight most of his life. Though I do know my weight is caused by the choices I made in my life. And I can freely admit that as that is the first step to healing. The second is making it happen in the mind and not let anything stop me and of course have fun and enjoy life.
As far as I’m concerned Maria you really don’t have anything to apologize for. Until people start loving themselves and taking care of themselves first, we will always struggle in life.
Life is always a journey though one thing is for certain, there can only be one Maria Kang. Thank you for your words.
Being healthy is more than looking good, it really is about feeling good for yourself.
When we’re unhappy, our guts and stomachs will suffer for it.
You have proven like other people I know and respect it really is about accountability.
Following ignoring several of the articles or blog posts on the web site, I seriously as if your way of writing your blog post. My partner and i added in the idea to help my personal bookmark website checklist and will also be checking returning quickly. Just sign up for my site too along with tell me your feelings.
If I didn’t lose 55lbs, I would say that those who were blessed to be good looking are just poking. It takes years to lose weight, then try to tighten up your skin, gain muscles and look good. It takes to change life entirely… yes, flirting with eating disorders is normal, because you try every once in a while to find an easy way out. I didn’t eat anything for 2-3 days then practically faint and lift myself with chocolate – OK, that’s a problem. The upside is that shocking my body was a certain reset – my body started looking for different amounts of food, different quality and diversity.
Then I learned not to eat after 6pm, moving that limit to 8pm after a few months as a reward :). Today, if I eat something late in the evening, I can’t sleep, I feel bad and have my next day ruined – the body is very vindictive.
In the end, all you have is hard core discipline and focus on the goal.
At some point I looked anorectic, unfortunately because of stress that consumed everything I ate, and I ate a lot. I had barely 100lbs (and I’m 5’9” tall). I must say I’m back now on model look with some lacks (small breasts and torso with ribs all over it), but I feel good with my flat tight tummy, discrete and sexy muscles.
It should be an insult for those who started gaining cushions at the age of 15. Now in their 30s they see the reflection in the mirror. Now it will take years to like what you see in it. Don’t hate Maria, hate yourself 😛
What an incredible woman you are! I am so inspired by your story and have nothing but love for you! It seems we live in a world where our problems were always caused by others, I’m so sick of hearing the whiners whine. You keep doing exactly what you are and if people don’t it your right it’s their problem nit yours. Stay beautiful healthy and just lovely!
I think it was the use of the word “excuse” that bothered so many people. In many cases it’s no an excuse and how they one was raised or just lack of knowledge about food and health. Perhaps it would have been better taken with a message such as “Be Fit. Be Healthy.” Either way it was clearly meant with good intentions perhaps just a miunderstood delivery.
People DO make lame excuses for not exercising regularly – I am one of them and you don’t see me getting all upset at Maria for bringing that up. Maria is trying to encourage people not to let those excuses get in their way of leading a fit, healthy lifestyle. I totally agree with her that those that take issue with her picture/statement are really taking issue with themselves. Grow up, get up, and move on. Congrats, Maria, on being as driven as you are to achieve the goals you set for yourself and for encouraging others to do the same!
When are bodies become weak and decay are souls are free. At some point in our lives our souls become so strong and heavy are bodies can no longer carry that weight. It may come when we are ninety or it may come tomorrow. It’s not something you or I control. I believe a soul is wisdom, energy, love… What do you believe? Because to be honest with you that’s my belief. What I want to believe. What I want to believe and what is the truth is almost always different. I have never witnessed a soul, touched a soul, felt my own soul. I can’t prove it exists. When someone that was close to you dies you think about their life, you think about your life. You start thinking about life as finite, rather than time as infinite. You and I, our time here is limited. If you want to believe what I believe, you understand our bodies are expiring while our souls are expanding. At some point they will no longer be able to co-exist. Life is a spark. It is very short. My Dad died last week. I needed somewhere to go to talk about Life, I thought this might be a good place to start. I posted a comment under “Miracles” that really wasn’t a comment at all. Just me rambling on, expressing my feelings so I can process what I am going through. I believe this helps me so just ignore my comment and read someone else’s that is a little more cheerful. I woke up this morning thinking about Life and Death, now I’m going to have a bowl of Raisin Bran .
Would those that are offended have been just as upset if it was a picture of her with an amputated leg wearing a medal for winning a marathon? Because I’ve seen this slogan used before, in that context and don’t remember the hoopla. “Oh, you only have one leg but you won a Marathon and now I feel all bad and icky about myself boohoo”. The problem is, she hit a nerve with people, she made people think. We DO, every day in life make excuses….excuses for many things. In no other circumstance have I ever seen this kind of outrage, and the slogan “What’s Your Excuse” has been used in MANY campaigns. The only problem with this one is, the truth hurts. I’ll be the first to admit I make excuses… every day. It’s easier. I think she is an inspiration and she is proving that even with 3 kids, she MAKES time for HERSELF and her health. THAT should be the take away here. If you truly WEREN’T making excuses, you would see the true meaning behind this photo.
It’s funny, you didn’t hear outrage over this one did you?
People need to get over themselves.
Ang…you are a dumbass. She has stated how she wasn’t born with good genes. There are other photos that show it wasn’t photoshopped. Apparently you are one of those misery loves company people. Maybe one day you will love yourself and not dog others success.
Ang or who YOU are, it is clear for me that YOU one with excuses, much overweight and no wish to change anything about it. By the way, to look like Maria you do not need “to starve or to work out untill you puke”. It is not an overnight result. It takes time and you need a lot of determination. YOU make rules which you transform into habits and after into a lifestyle. If it sound difficult to YOU, do not fucking try but do not say that is impossible because is not. If being overweight is your confort zone just stay in it but do not blame others who are motivated and work hard for being in good shape.
oh my gosh do you live in Frisco tx by any chance.? I knew a Laura and her little anorexic mind wouldn’t get off my back. I wonder if your her cause Lord knows SHE needs some help!
Dear Jennifer probably you are Ang under another name. I live in Europe and I am very glad that I do not live in a country with so many obese people who get unhappy if someone is fit an in good shape.
Go Maria!! You are an inspiration and what you ask is completely legit.
My friend is ten years older than me, has put on ALOT of weight since starting work in a call centre in 2005, eats poorly and does not exercise.
Her excuse? It’s all too hard working full time, running a household plus cooking for her daughter. She says if she were me (full time worker with no kids, a housemate who shares cooking duties) she’d work out too.
The funny thing?
Her daughter is a fully functioning (albiet lazy) adult in her late TWENTIES!!!!
People will use any excuse to not exercise and take care of themselves. Ignore the haters and keep up the great work!
Look, I think it’s wonderful that you work hard to stay fit and healthy for your kids. Here’s my issue, and maybe I can present this respectfully from the other side of the coin. I’m a runner. I weight train. I have a healthy diet. I work my tail off. I also have three kids…ages 3, 2, and 8 months. I will never, EVER look like you. Never. As much as I’d love to say I’ve made peace with that (and I hope someday I will), this picture makes me feel like hell. What’s my excuse? Yes, I should be responsible for my own body image. I should feel comfortable in my own skin. I should get over myself. I know exactly how your fans will respond. But you’re only presenting a small part of the population. Some of us are covered cleavage to thighs in stretch marks. Some of us carry a full layer of stretched skin that we have to secure so we don’t wobble while we exercise (praise the Lord for spandex). Some of us are holding out hope that someday we can look in the mirror and not wince. I’m sorry people were hurtful about your post. But your post is hurtful to me. What’s my excuse? Ouch. While you’re most certainly fit and healthy, be fair. Acknowledge that there are women out there who are athletes and mothers who cannot defy the laws of biology to regain washboard abs. You’re absolutely beautiful, and you deserve to be proud of your health as well as your body. The photo of you is inspiring. The words with it? Not so much. As for me, I pray to have your confidence one day. I pray my daughter never looks at you and then back at me, only to decide that I’m not working hard enough on my body and I’m just making excuses. I pray my daughter sees my victories, every race, every stretch mark, and knows they’re all for her and her brothers.
The problem with a lot of you women is that you can’t just be happy for someone else’s success. So what if you have stretch marks and she doesn’t’, to bad if you exercise and still can’t get your body to look like hers. Some mothers can naturally get fit and look awesome after having children and some can’t. That’s life! Who cares if you will never look like Maria your not suppose to. You should just be happy with who you are. I have two children myself, and I’m still working hard to get fit and get my abs to look they way I want them too. But does that mean that I’m not happy for Maria’s success, does that mean that I’m going to complain about how I will never look like her? No it means that I will embrace my body and be comfortable in my own skin. While allowing Maria story to motivate me to keep trying and to never give up. Your skin may never go back to the way it looked before having kids, you may have tons of stretch marks, so what embrace them. That’s the joy of having children, our bodies change, we change, and out whole lives change.
Kirstin it looks like you do your best already. The only problem you have is in you, you are not confident. Forget about stretch marks. I am sure Maria has some as well, you just can not see them in that picture. Forget about her face. The message and picture was not about -look how beautyfull I am. It was about being in best shape she can have. It sounds that you are not in a bad shape, just work with yourself, work with your mind. Be confident! It surprise me that you doing so much for yourself and you still are not confident. Normally people who do sports they are strong and confident people. Do not look at yourself compare with other women, it is completely wrong.
keep judging we are in our last days of Christ anyways….. your not supposed to show off your body and receive the praise of others that try just as hard as you do. It seems to me you’ve hidden all the bad posts and kept the ones who admire every step you walk on. To me…. I really don’t care but on anxiety pills because of this continuous shameful shit. Clearly don’t say what your expectations are for women period just as long as it is about you, you and you. Whom do you work for the obamas?
Jennifer I am going to say a prayer for you. Because if we are not in our last days of Christ, God should know you are popping a lot of anxiety pills. And just for the record what makes you think we our down to our last days, anyway? Wait a minute …. Don’t tell me I have enough problems already. No, wait a minute, I want to know! If you can convince me we are down to our last days, you don’t have to worry about Maria working out in her Leotards, You should worry about bumping into me running naked through the MGM Grand in Las Vegas. Ok, time for a bowl of Raisin Bran.
Oh gosh you really need some help….
Sorry, that was for Jennifer…
Jen is just trying to make a buck by directing people to her page so they can ponder buying her book. The funny thing is that she would have nothing to write about if she didn’t have people to “punch in the throat”. Sadly, she does not recognize the irony or that she is being a hypocrite. I’m sure Maria will not take this post down, she doesn’t mind if people make some money off of her 🙂 You can maybe thank her for some book sales. At least you probably realize that you are dependent on others.
Can you explain yourself when saying that picture is silly??? It shows a fit mother who got in her best shape shortly after having three pregnancy in a row. It looks like in your country to exercise and be in good shape is an insult for the society. Stop globalising, this picture could not be possible to offend any women who care about her self. Wake up people! This picture was not intended to send any message for Golden Members at fast foods.
From: Priya @ http://www.priyadevalia.com
Honestly, I’m slightly horrified by ANY negative comment that you have received. I heard you when you said that your motivation stemmed from a childhood fearing the loss of a mother who didn’t seem to understand the toll the diet and nutrition was taking on her body. I don’t think anyone can dispute that – or, rip it apart – it’s totally understandable!
I think you look great, I think your journey is inspiring and I think a vast majority of women can relate to your ups and downs, triumphs and failures.
I think the issue here is not really YOU, Maria – it’s the fact that you SEEM to be an extension of a media and Western culture that idolizes slim, slender, toned, 6-packs women and marginalizes the rest. The result? THE WAY WOMEN THINK, FEEL AND VALUE THEMSELVES HAS BEEN HIJACKED. Frankly – that’s not Maria’s problem. It’s a cultural problem that needs to be talked about.
I think Maria sparks a useful debate about a larger problem – that we as women just have not owned our own sense of what we value and what’s important to us and about our bodies. Attacking Maria is not going to solve the issue – the issue that many of us were unable just to simply walk away without a negative and dramatic reaction to her picture and slogan if we felt it didn’t apply to us. But, instead, we were fixated and transfixed – wracked with guilt, feelings of being judged, feelings of being inadquate and ashamed. WHY?
It’s not Maria herself – it’s what she represents to us and how we have tragically absorbed our own lies and expectations of ourselves.
I say: Have your own mind. Take back your choice to look or NOT look like Maria. Value yourself and your body on your own terms – independently of Maria Kang.
If she had been posing with a belly hanging out, stretch marks with lots of extra fat in the same outfit, same slogan, smiling as proudly – there wouldn’t be this backlash. Because, she would be atypical of our cultural ideal. BUT, she has been unfairly persecuted and put upon simply because she DOES fit the cultural ideal.
So, who’s the culprit? Media and culture, I say. Not Maria. If she wants to be fit and puts in the time and effort and frankly, has those awesome Asian genes and body-type to achieve her look – all power to her! IT SHOULD NOT MAKE ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MYSELF, if I own my own mind, emotions and sense of self.
Let’s write more impassioned and vitriolic messages to MTV, Cosmpolitan and any and every cosmetic and fashion company you can think of! That’s who’s trying to own what you think is worthy and beautiful about yourself and your little girls. NOT Maria Kang, who is in the exact same boat as you – trying to navigate tricky cultural ideals about women.
But, of course, we do feel bad – because, we don’t own ourselves. Who owns you? My advice: TAKE YOURSELF BACK. And, be happy for others and as impervious to the values that do not fit your own.
Maria, what I want to say to you is this: regardless of your motives – I respect your journey as a woman trying to navigate in a world and system that is constantly trying to be our boss. You may make mistakes – I would hope the “sisterhood” would root for you. You may triumph – I would hope the “sisterhood” would still root for you. You look great! I encourage you just to take all of this backlash as an opportunity to self-reflect further and learn and grow in whatever ways are healthy and bring you closer to the woman God dreamt of you to be!
(and, all of this from an incredibly CHUBBY woman who has been FAT her entire life! 🙂 I’m not jealous of you – and I don’t feel threatened by you. Why should I? … I need to own myself. Or, in my case – let God own me.
<3 Priya @ http://www.priyadevalia.com
Outstanding results. Don’t listen to the negative people out there. I’m a guy and looks to me like you are a great source of inspiration to a lot of women (and men), who think it’s not possible to work, have a family and be fit. Keep it up
I worked in the fitness industry for more than 10 years. I have talked with more than 25000 people about exercise.
Most people have excuses for not committing to regular exercise. If you worked in the fitness industry the slogan is very objective for the vast majority of the population because they make up excuses. I gave up working in mainstream fitness clubs because I have heard too many excuses from too many people. Now I have a physical conditioning club where I have just members without excuses.
I find it hard to believe that someone would argue against this kind of promotional picture (“What’s your excuse”) .
I end my post with a saying (sorry I do not remember who said it)
Anyone can find tens of “good” excuses in order to not engage in regular exercise. All you need is just ONE good reason to commit to regular exercise.
Why do I feel like dunking a banana in a can of Spam this morning? Great Costumes, Loved the picture made me laugh! Maria you looked great but the real winner of the evening was your husband. Anyone that can rock a can of Spam is Aces in my book. You got let us know where you got a costume like that! With a can of Spam like that, Casual Friday’s at work become a whole lot more casual, a walk around the neighborhood with the family on a Sunday morning becomes a long walk alone. A drive down to the supermarket, “Excuse me, Can you tell me… do have any Spam?” becomes a short trip to the loony bin. Have a Great Weekend with the Family!
Maria, I commend you for being healthy and modeling that for your children. I am trying to do the same. You are beautiful and you should definitely be proud of all of your hard work. However, I would love for you to mention on here how you take care of body and give examples of your work out routine and your diet. I think people need MORE than just a photo of you asking them about their own excuses. We all have them. Trust me, I’ve been using them off and on for years. USE this for GOOD. That’s all I am saying. Good Luck and health to you…
Okay, I just saw that you DO have those things here on your blog that I mentioned above. I am a dork (I really kind of am…) 😉 I will be back to check out some of your recipes!
Here’s the thing Maria, it’s okay if you do this to yourself, if you even tell your friends this (though gad help your friends). You do not own the fact that your words are hurtful to many people, including people suffering from eating disorders, which you yourself did (or do I should say). Many people have “excuses” that are real and not “oh I have all the money and time in the world and I chose to sit here and eat KFC instead” variety, which is what you and most of the people like you seem to think (should a single mother who works 2 or 3 jobs to barely put food on the table quite one of those jobs and become homeless so she can go jogging 2 or 3 times a week? You ask people to own their “excuses” and their lives, well you need to do the same.
The simple fact is that you have NOT recovered from your eating disorder, I’d bet my life on the fact that you over exercise and/or purge still (I’m right aren’t I?). Your words, the way you say them and your inability to be flexible or soften your stance and actually apologize speaks volumes…actually it’s not YOUR words it’s your EATING DISORDERS words. You are still suffering from an ED, and you’re doing harm to yourself. Check your self and your ED voice. I hope you find true recovery someday. Because you have not, no matter how much you try to tell yourself and others that. You have not found true recovery.
Go do some sits ups, fat ass. In the time it took you to write all that garbage you could have knocked out 5 or 10. YOU are suffering from insecurity. You’re an angry, fat single mom, surprise, surprise.
You are pathetic loser, you were never able to exercise REAL control, you binged and purged because you were too weak to actually have control. And now you’ve let yourself get FAT and UGLY, I mean have you SEEN your stretch marks?! Have some control woman! I saw you had REST days on your schedule. A fatty like you should not be taking rest days. Every moment you’re not moving you’re getting fatter. Every bite that passes your lips makes you weaker and fatter. I also saw you “cheat” but I also bet you purged that in someway too. Because that’s the cheater’s way. If you were actually good enough you wouldn’t have to cheat anyway. What’s YOUR excuse for “slipping” and eating the donut? I walk past food all day long. I haven’t eaten in 5 days. I’m not even hungry. I’ve also worked out 3 hours each of those days. That’s control. You don’t have it. You never will. You are an ugly, fat, loser, who will never be anything other than a vapid “inspiration” to fatties. You will slowly get old and fat and people will toss you aside like they always have as you have never contributed to society, and never will, because you are absolutely worthless.
EEWWWWWWWWW Hate Much ?
You’re the one that is a fat, ugly loser. Put the Twinkee down and get off the net. Go outside, get laid, whatever. You are one angry fat woman.
Girl, you need help
Well said Maria couldnt agree with you more! People who are going to hate will always hate, as they wish they were you.
So petit to criticise. The time wasted on hating they could have worked on themselves.
Don’t apologize for other women’s insecurities. You work out. Eat healthy. And you are proud. nothing wrong with that!! It’s hard work maintaining that kind of lifestyle with young kids and sticking to it! RESPECT! I am a mother to 2. 16 mos old and a 5 yr old. Through eating better and exercising I’m in the best shape I’ve been in since high school! Keep your head up. You inspire those of us who know the work it takes!!
That’s a great reason not to read the comments. Or, at the very least, stop reading a comment as soon as it gets discourteous.
People are just pushing their own buttons inside their own head, if not with your words then somebody else’s. The most practiced can mentally tear themselves apart with their eyes closed. Just skip it. Don’t read those comments anymore. Keep those people out of your head, lest you take on their influence as your own. Stay clear.
What’s my excuse? I have 8 kids. I’ve had 11 pregnancies within a 13 year time span. I weigh 128 lbs because I refuse to eat rabbit food, because I make my children a priority, and I don’t “work out.” That is, other than the fact that I’m chasing around the 6 young kids that I had within 7 years of each other. (No, no twins)
Do I think your post is rude? A little. Why would I take it that way, you ask? Because you can’t say “what’s your excuse” as an open ended question…
There is an implied topic in your post.
Why are you not slender, fit, and can have (only) 3 kids?
If I posted a picture of my body, and then my picture with 8 kids, you might feel like you are slacking a little bit. Expecially when I let you know I homeschool. On top of running a homeschool group for the county. On top of full time work. On top of full time college.
You may just feel like a slacker, because next to me, you are… So don’t say that it’s other people’s fault they are taking your statement wrong, they took it just as you wrote it.
It would have been much better to say “Healthy is achievable” or “You can do it”
Or better yet. Just post the picture without any words.
Why the hell would anyone have that many kids? The world is overpopulated as it is. Shame on you. Your vagina is not a clown car. Get off the internet if you’re so busy with kids. In the time it took you to write all that you could have done some push ups, sits ups, something better than run your fat, angry mouth.
Sounds like you’re the angry one, The Truth Hurts…. Wow. Such vitriol and judgment. She can have an opinion that differs from yours, just as she may have as many children as she wishes. And who made you the final word on whether the world is overpopulated and the “perfect” number of children to have?
The saddest thing about all of this to me has nothing to do with what Maria Kang’s body looks like or what slogan she had under her picture…it’s that we, collectively, seem to be unable to have a respectful discussion over what’s really a rather interesting issue without it devolving into nasty personal attacks. I find that a much more bleak reflection on humanity than a woman who posted a picture of herself in skimpy workout wear on her own facebook page.
I hope for you, The Truth Hurts, that whatever has made you so bitter that you feel the need to put down other people so viciously (through the convenient anonymity of the internet) subsides and that you start to feel some peace. Take care –
Another whiny broad that writes posts a mile long and thinks anyone will take the time to read it. You aren’t that important. Neither are any of the other fat broads on this page scolding the woman in this photo for putting their fat ugly asses to shame. This is why you’re fat. Stop writing long posts on the internet and go do some sit ups. You could have done about 25 in the time it took you to write all that crap. The fat asses want to judge everyone else then when people return the favor they write a mini novel, scolding them and talking about how proud they are too be fat and unattractive. And anyone having that many kids, please get therapy. That is ridiculous. Are you on welfare too?
Sorry, but your story do not sound real. For someone who has access to information, who has more than 2 brain cells to have 11 pregnancy s in 13 years sounds …….it sounds like you go to bed like you go to another job. You must have a very close relation with your doctor….did not he mentioned anything about controlled reproduction….we are not living in Stone age and the condom was invented long ago. I just think you used kids as an excuse because you know this is sensitive subject…..but I just do not believe. I just see behind this story another fat overweight woman or man with some sort of sick imagination.
If it is real, just post a picture of you, I will be the first to give you a BIG like for being such a good mother!
Maybe we don’t have an excuse because we don’t need one. Not everyone out there is obsessed with looks and weight as much as you are, and especially not enough to go around putting people down.
Maybe one day you will realize that having a six pack of abs isn’t everything. But yeah, for now keep counting those calories, eating twigs, and doing those crunches!
Keep lifting that jelly doughnut and shoving it in your mouth while you browse the internet, angry fat woman. This is about health, not just looks.
You assumed that I was angry and fat based on that little blurb? The joke is on you..
For the record I’m not fat or unhealthy, and have lost most of my pregnancy weight. I eat well and exercise regularly and I surely didn’t starve myself while pregnant just to look a certain way.
On the other hand I don’t have washboard abs, and I don’t obsess over being unnaturally skinny. Nor do I go around putting pictures online boasting about how I look.
The obsession with being skinny, and looking a certain way is just as much a problem in society as being fat and obese is. I mean we are trying to set a good example for our kids in terms of bullying right?
You might not be fat or unhealthy but you can never look as good as the woman in the photo and you know it. That is why this offends you. If it didn’t offend you, you wouldn’t be here since this is a blog about fitness. You aren’t interested in fitness.
Why don’t these insecure women leaving negative comments start posting photos of themselves since they all claim that they are fit and healthy? Since they want a have a go at the hot Filipina in this photo. They won’t do it.
I am sure you are fat. Maybe you are in normal range for someone in the US, but it’s normal for people in the US to be fat. So they don’t realize that they’re fat pigs. I’m sure you’re ugly too. You can deny all this because we won’t ever see you, but that’s what’s going on here. I’m sure you don’t realize this either. Most fat, ugly American women think way too highly of themselves. They don’t understand they’re fat and ugly. They want to sit on their fat ass all day and eat garbage, watch Oprah, then call themselves “BBW” and walk around with an attitude. That is why women like the one in this photo piss them off and make them jealous. Because they don’t have the drive to look this good and she makes them realize how fat and unattractive they really are.
You have to be fat to begin with to believe she is eating twigs to look like this. She posts some of what she is eating right here on this site. It isn’t twigs, not even close. She just doesn’t stuff her face with junk food while watching Oprah all day. How hard is that to understand?
Again with the assumptions – now you think I am in the US (I live in Canada via Netherlands) and I think you are assuming I am black (only reason why there is an Oprah reference in there I think).
All I am saying is that some of us don’t have an excuse because we don’t need one. We don’t need a six pack and size 0 to be happy. Whoever said that being skinny = happiness? I am perfectly happy with the way I look. If Maria wants to be fit then all the power to her. She just shouldn’t assume that the rest of us aren’t super fit because of some type of excuse. Her picture made it sound as if she wants everyone out there to live the same way she does.
If Maria was happy about the way she looked she wouldn’t be making such arrogant claims, getting implants or airbrushing the hell out of her pictures. It’s too bad there’s no exercise to fix that face of hers.
Post your picture! You’ll SEE how many people will think you superfit…. First of all Maria is not skiny, this is how should Look a healthy women with her complection. YOU need to admit that you just jelous on her motivation and ambition YOU never ARE going to have.
I cannot begin to fathom the amount of insecurity and need-for-victimhood it takes to get butthurt over this photo.
This just popped up on UK news. Well done, great message to send out. In the UK, 61% of adults are obese or overweight, leading to all kinds of health problems and societal costs. Exercise and dietary change are the solution. Don’t be troubled by critics. You came across very reasonably in the UK tv program you were interviewed on (Lorraine, ITV).
This reminds me of a TIME magazine’s cover where the mom is breastfeeding his 3-year-old son with the question, “Are You Mom Enough?”,and it became controversial that seemed the internet world exploded! I understand the rude comments, because in America weight is such a sensitive issue. As an Asian like you, we have the advantage for having small body frame,some Western women do too. I understand the outrage of some people who misinterpret your real purpose, stay fit and healthy and your kids look cute!!!
Sure! Everybody can in your own personal happy, filled with colours, beautiful things and candy, bubble! (I was going to write world but yes, it’s too much).
Get out of here, spammer.
How dare an attractive mom post a photo of herself. Oh the horror! Fat women, this is why you’re 200 pounds. Because you get offended at things like this instead of motivated by it. Put the work in and you probably can never look this good, but maybe a lot better than you do. Stop whining.
And the comments on this site should be moderated. If the fat women want to post on other sites that have run this story, fine, but they should not be able to invade someone’s personal site with their excuse making and scolding of someone who has the motivation that they never will.
It is obvious from who is coming all this negative reactions: overweight women, not attractive, insecure, not confident. Probably most of them even don’t have a mirror in their houses, they avoid everything where they can see their reflection, they spend most of time in front of TV on just in virtual world…..and here is coming Maria with her fit body, surrounded by three toddlers , with job, with husband……and yep….with a beautyfull face…..they can not get close with their reflections to this fit woman so they switch on plan b: let’s attac her, let’ s say the picture is offending and accusatory. The offended people start loving yourself and only then you will be capable to love others. It is clear that you hate Maria because you hate you, looking at her pictures just reminds you how unhealthy you are. Good luck everybody!
What we have here in the angry comments are a lot of relatively overweight, unattractive women who thought they looked pretty good until they saw this photo. Now they realize they don’t look good at all. So they get mad at the attractive woman in this photo for raising the bar too high for them. They could probably do it if they wanted, but they don’t have the ambition. So they get angry instead of doing something about it. Hey, that’s your fault, not hers.
Don’t be a jerk
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Very Funny! But Damn I lost my post and it was pretty funny. Damn that Kang!
Here’s what I said in a nutshell. I read Maria’s last facebook post and it sounds like she is read to move on. That’s Good! All this hub bub about the poster was blown out of proportion. It’s time to Workout! It’s not about looking like a supermodel or Shemar Moore it’s about having fun. And getting sweaty, smelly and filthy…That’s Fun. When is the last time you saw fifty people in your neighborhood Busting Ass? Probably never. Unless you go to the Gym. When was last time you saw the manager of Chase bank running down a treadmill like she being chased by a Bengal Tiger. Probably Never. I have. When is the last time you walked through a room and heard a guy yell “HERNIA” and drop 500lb on the floor. That’s my ass hitting the floor. Come Help Me Up! Join 24 Hr Fitness! And I’ll see you there.
I just wanted to say that I had never heard of you until that craziness over your picture and I’m glad it happened. If it hadn’t, I wouldn’t have found your awesome inspirational fb page and blog. I think you are awesome. When I saw your challenge, instead of whining that I have a lot to do (I’m nine weeks pregnant and in an excelerated graduate nursing program that takes up 40+ hrs a week), I thought: Really, what is my excuse?! Thanks for standing strong!!
Where’s the original article that caused the controversy?
Whether you like her wording (and I don’t) is not the issue. I don’t think looking like a model is what she’s even saying. She doesn’t have an editor to spin her words (or pictures that she uses) to be as least offensive as possible. It’s obvious that she has issues dealing with the loss of her mother and the circumstances surrounding it. If I lost my mother the same way, who knows how *I* would react.
What I take away from the post is that she has issues (AS WE ALL DO) and hers surround health. But no one sees that right?
I hate those mantras “What’s your excuse” and others that are way more offensive, but this quote is what I choose to take away from the whole controversy, “Kang concludes that much in life is mind over matter — whether it’s recovering from an attack like her husband’s or staying in slamming shape while raising a brood of boys. “It’s really where your mind is,” she says, referring to the different ways that people might interpret her photo. “I just hope that the person who feels completely overwhelmed can see they can control their own destiny. To know that there’s no excuse for not making time for yourself.”
For those who call her a bully or say that she’s body shaming is a bit rich. No one wants to be called a bully and shaming is one of the most powerful forms of getting people to shut up. Ask yourself, who’s doing the shaming?
What’s my excuse?
My excuse is that unlike Maria I’m not a butterface and so I don’t need to overcompensate. I also like my natural boobs 🙂
Maria, hun, I hope one day you sort out or body image issues.
Go to sleep and yeah….. I am sure YOU have big natural boobs as being FAT!
Yes, Diane is indeed a “BBW,” as the fat, sloppy, lazy women like to call themselves. She won’t post any pics though. No guts to post a picture but she hides behind the computer and attacks the woman in this photo.
Do you even know how stupid you sound “Diane”? Did you also go write idiotic replies on the million other blogs and pins on pinterest that contain pics of skinny girls with no excuses? What about all the mens fitness blogs? Did you go over there and comment on their posts stating that you aren’t a butterface so you don’t need to work out? Did you?
I mean seriously if I had a face like Maria and similar self-esteem issues I too would workout 24/7 and hope that people looked at something other than my face. I’m sure you girls understand from similar experiences.
I hope Maria inspires you girls enough so that one day you too can get breast implants, botox, and have all of your pictures heavily airbrushed.
Good luck girls!
We can’t see your face. You just run your mouth without posting any photos. So what you think means nothing. Post your face and let’s see how much better looking you are than the woman in the photo. You won’t do it because you’re ugly, fat and insecure.
Diane I know you realize that you are the one with problems. You are jealous not just on Maria but every good looking woman in the world because you just ugly and stupid piece of shit who has no ambition because you know, no matter how much you exercise you never will look good and the bad news -there is not such a doctor who can help you! No, I don’t mean botoxs and other stuff…..you know what I am talking about????
Yep, your fucked brain…..unfortunately there is not such thing as brain implant, no one can add more brain cells in your stupid little head. Nothing elce to say, just live in your virtual world you gabage of society!
By the way, I really don’t want to see your picture, no need to make me to vomit in my mouth.
You do have self esteem issues because you attack Kang and insult her looks but won’t post a photo for comparison. You probably thought you looked pretty good until you saw this photo. Now you realize you don’t look so hot, even if you claim to like your “natural” (BBW) look.
Post a picture of yourself and let the people here decide if you’re a butterface or not.
None of these big mouths with the negative comments ever post photos of themselves. They just attack the woman in the photo from behind their computer, while shoving Doritos in their mouths.
Hello Maria, I have never heard of you until I saw your picture, I was bowled over! I was inspired and its comforting to know that an everyday woman can achieve her dreams of being fit. Like you rightly said, nobody determines what you do execpt you. Please don’t let these lazy, conch potoates fill you up with their negative vibes. I don’t recall you calling any body’ s names. I thank you so much for that picture, I intend to save it and tell myself ‘ if Maria can do it, so can I’! Please ignore these negative people and know that you have people who love and r inspired by you
Maria felicidades por ser una fuente de inspiración para millones de mujeres que aun creen que la maternidad es un obstáculo para ser saludables , disciplinados y con amor propio, ellas ponen como excusa a sus hijos, esposo, trabajo o lo que sea. Me encanto tu foto!!!
I don’t understand why the No Excuse photo by the lady sparks so much negativeness and dissatisfaction. Look at the photo via the correct angle, take it as a positive challenge. It doesn’t make sense to stamp her No Excuse photo as some sort of online bully or narcissism. Just google under, “No Excuse Workout” or “What’s Your Excuse” and look at the images. You can see countless of No Excuse images just like Maria’s. Few of the “No Excuse” images depict disabled people who are still doing workout despite their limitation. You can’t possibly say they are being narcissist and bullying you too. Stop giving excuses.
Congrats, realmente eres digna de admirar. Creo que todas las mujeres debemos seguir tu ejemplo, y querernos y preocuparnos por nosotras mismas. You look amazing!!
If it helps any, I’m 42 and I make stupid excuses all the time about why I “can’t” get to the gym…about why I “shouldn’t” work out today. To be completely honest, your photo made me recognize how everytime I do this, I am letting myself down as well as my family.
I am the type of person who goes to the gym twice a week with the goal of going five times. Or that I will eat better but that only lasts for a week at most.
Maria, your picture made me face some unpleasant realities and now I am in a new place with my motivation. I even saved your picture in my phone and when I start to make an excuse, I pull it out and visually remind myself there are NO excuses for not being healthy…for not doing the right thing…and for not reaching my goals. What could be more thrilling than meeting your goals and throwing all excuses aside?
Hi. My name is Carmen, I live in Chile, and english is my third language after spanish and german. So, excuse me for my grammar errors and misspelling. Well, I don’t have an excuse for not having the great body you have after 2 beautiful girls, now 36 and 18 months old. I already weight less than before my first pregnancy, and my Body Mass Index is 23 (that’s normal). Maybe I just need an inspiration like your picture for taking a little more time to exercise and have a better figure. I just wanna make one step every day. I hear every day women complaining about their weight and figure after having a baby, and I see them doing notjing against that.
Thank you for your picture, and your post.
23 BMI is not normal. Actually you can be overweight and have this index. BMI is useless in determining healthy weight. Only body fat percentage is somewhat useful.
people really need to get over themselves. if you are offended by this, you are probably one of the lazy people who sits behind their computer all day complaining rather than going to the gym. sad life.
There’s a lot of hateful judgmental people/trolls on both sides of this debate it seems, who really haven’t read the blog but are throwing their own words behind Maria’s. Heads up, people. These are HER words, not yours. Actually read the post.
Your kids look delicious and you are a very proud (and fit) mom. Congrats on your discipline! And, of course, your genes. As a morbidly obese person, through choice, circumstance and, yes, genes, I took NO offense with the image. I took it as a personal, individual challenge: what is my excuse for not improving my health, from where it is to somewhere better? To to reach your level, but to reach a healthier level compared only to the me of now.
So enjoy your family, and your commitment to your body’s health and your well-being. And thanks for the nudge!
Summary: hot mom posts picture of her hotness. Phatties attack her.
oh wow, imagine that, millions of angry fat women on the internet.
Thank you so much for posting that picture. You rock! I just had a baby and am struggling to lose the baby belly–but your journey inspires me! You had three kids and can still be in shape and fit. Thank you so much for being a positive inspiration!
There’s a story behind every person. There’s a reason why they’re the way they are. Think about that before you judge someone.
The stories you talking about are the excuses in other words and, in the most situation, they don’t exist!!!!
I heard the news story and new nothing about you. Im not sure why this angered everyone. Honestly the truth can hurt some people. You frankly motivate me.
Any who I read this article on the elephant journal about you. I came to you website through there. Thanks for being honest with your thoughts and keep on motivating people!
You are a true inspiration Maria. I’m not sure which phrase motivates me more: “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” or “What’s your excuse.” I’ll take both!
Thanks for the motivation!
As a mom of two, and a single parent with a demanding and stressful job, I understand the difficulties to put your physical health as a priority. But it isn’t just physical health, there are emotional and spiritual implications to the attitude and drive it takes to take care of yourself. Your level of fitness is an inspiration. And your attitude about it is commendable. I am never surprised at the length people will go to maintain an unhealthy “status quo” in their lives. Now I don’t look like you, but I eat right, I exercise, and I fit in the clothes that I wore before I had kids (they are 3 and 6). I am proud of that! I am glad you don’t listen to people pretend taking yourself is a prior hating on those who don’t. Blessings to you and your beautiful family!
You rock! What an inspiration!
At the same time, I’m handling the home statement spending, scrubbing the toilets, teaching ABC’s, and wiping runny noses. When I am sitting down in the computer system you can get typically toys flying past me and I am typing with one particular hand though tying a shoelace using the other. It really is anything but glamorous.
Life…Life…Sh*t. What did I get myself into?
With blogs like this around I don’t even need website anymore.
I can just visit here and see all the latest happenings in
I’ve never read your blog, but a Facebook “friend” of mine posted a link to one of the negative articles that related to your photo- I found the harsh judgements completely offensive and just wanted to tell you that the right people get the right message you’re sending and I’m sure you’ve inspired a lot of moms. I’ve given a couple feeble attempts to get in shape since becoming a mom and it is so easy for me to become discouraged by the fact that my body will never be what it once was, it’s so easy for me to use it as an excuse and give up. I think it’s completely inspiring to see people who still go for it and work hard and are comfortable in their own skin. Good for you. If only this world (especially this virtual world) could quit trying to tear people down. Your message is a much more positive and uplifting one than your critics have. Congrats on all your success! From one accepting mother to another.
my friend, there is a great article.
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You’re pic and question inspired me. Keep your head up 🙂
Hi Maria ,
Whatver people say , you are one of my inspiration .. hats off to your dedication ..As a mom I know what it means to balance kids , family and a healthy lifestyle ..
Have written about you in my blog Bumps n Baby , http://www.bumpsnbaby.com/else-wants-next-maria-kang/
Do let me know how you find it .. TC
The negative reaction was completely out of line. I found inspiration and encouragement from your photo and article. Your message seemed to be – get past your excuses and get moving. The media tried to twist that into their often used, never real, ‘war on women.’ You should be commended for setting and achieving personal goals. I admire you for that. Most of the time, I don’t make it past my excuses to get to a workout and I only need to walk down a flight of stairs. Your poster/article doesn’t make me feel bad about myself, it encourages me to make the effort today even if ….. (insert excuse here). Thank you. Will be following your blog now for further encouragement.
The problem is, the truth hurts. For those who simply have no motivation or will to take better care of themselves this messages was an attack. Maria I hope you continue to do what you do, motivating other mothers. I have been obese and completely out of shape, I am a mother of one only and my body was the worst ever after that one pregnancy. After 12 years of having my sunshine I am at the best shape ever, up in the morning at 340am to hit the gym. Not there where I want yet but I will. Congrats for being such great motivation to others. Keep it up!!
Some people can’t handle the TRUTH keep on doing what your doing and don’t look back Cause your NOT GOINGthere….
Hi from Italy. You are inspiring me 🙂
Thank you. Your picture inspired me. I had such a tough time finding the motivation to lose weight. My son is now 3 and I was 200 lbs. I have always struggled with my self image and this picture helped me. I read the words and thought, “I have no excuse!” My mom and I are now working hard together to lose the weight we want to lose. Not to be skinny, but to be happy when we look in the mirror. I have already lost 7 lbs and I am working hard to lose more. Whenever I feel like I should just give up I remember this post of facebook. So thank you. You gave me the inspiration I needed to know this is possible for me.
DEAR MRS. KANG,
THE MESSAGE THAT HAS RECEIVED SO MUCH FEEDBACK IS DEFINITELY OUTSTANDING. I HAVE READ BOTH SIDES OF THE ARGUMENT AT HAND AND NO MATTER HOW GOOD THE INTENTIONS ARE ONE MUST BE CAREFUL WHAT THEY PUT IN PUBLIC. TRUE IT IS AN INDIVIDUAL’S RIGHT TO INTERPRET HOW THEY FEEL BUT THE MESSAGE ONLY SEEMS NOT SO GOOD…. WHAT IS YOUR EXCUSE? IS NOT A MESSAGE ONE WOULD SAY TO ENCOURAGE SOMEONE OR MOTIVATE SOMEONE. THERE ARE MILLIONS OF PEOPLE WHO WORK HARD AND ARE DEDICATED TO LIVING A HEALTHY LIFE AND DO NOT HAVE MUCH SUCCESS AS THEY WOULD AND THAT MESSAGE CAN HINDER THEM IN A WAY BECAUSE THEY ARE TRYING THEIR ABSOLUTE BEST. THERE ARE NO EXCUSES FOR WORKING HARD AND DEDICATING YOURSELF TO YOUR GOALS BUT FOR THOSE WHO MAY FEEL LIKE THERE IS NO HOPE BECAUSE THEY ARE TRYING, THIS MESSAGE HAS A NEGATIVE CONNOTATION. TRUTHFULLY, I COULD BE OFFENDED AND TO BE HONEST I AM A LITTLE NOT BECAUSE IM JEALOUS OR LAZY AS I HAVE READ AND HEARD THROUGH THE MEDIA BUT BECAUSE I AM HAPPY WITH MYSELF AND I DON’T LIKE ANYONE TELLING ME THAT THIS IS THE WAY I SHOULD BE. IT PRESENTS WHAT THE MEDIA FORCE FEEDS ALL OF US TO BELIEVE…. THAT WE ARE NOT PERFECT BEING WHO WE ARE. IF I’M A MOM OF 3 I SHOULD HAVE GOALS TO LOOK LIKE YOU ARE ANY OF THOSE WHO FOLLOW YOU. ACTUALLY, NOT JUST YOU BUT EVERYONE WHO DOES NOT LOOK A CERTAIN WAY. I DO AGREE THAT THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ACCEPTING AND LOVING ONES SELF BUT WE SHOULD LOVE OURSELVES AND ACCEPT WHO WE ARE ON AN INDIVIDUAL BASIS. I CAN GO ON FOR DAYS ABOUT THIS TOPIC AND HOW THE WORLDS VIEWPOINT IS CRAZY. BUT BEFORE I GO I MUST SAY THAT IT IS ALSO A DISGRACE THAT FACEBOOK TEMPORARILY BLOCKED YOU FROM SHARING YOUR OPINION. THAT I DO NOT AGREE WITH AND JUST WANTED TO SHED MORE LIGHT ABOUT THIS TOPIC AND WHY THERE IS SO MUCH NEGATIVITY.
THANK YOU FOR ALLOWING ME TO VOICE MY OPINION AND HAVE A GREAT DAY.
You know, I’ve read a lot of what you said Maria, and as a obese woman trying to lose weight, I don’t see you as being a bully or harassing people who are trying to lose weight or who suffer from obesity…etc. I’ve been heavy all my life and have seen first hand some very serious bullying to which people would be shocked by if they heard or saw what I’ve experienced. Nothing you’ve said or done in my opinion equates to bullying on any level. In fact, it seems rather empowering and positive. When I was swimming to lose weight, doing laps in this pool at the gym, this woman had the audacity to pull me up by my arm while I was literally face down in a lap, and told me I need to give up on exercising and get the gastric bypass surgery. I didn’t even know this woman. She was so rude and over the top inappropriate, I just stood up in the pool dumbfounded and speechless. In my opinion, that is true bullying. You just don’t do crap like that to people. But what I did was, I continued swimming and decided not to let these people get to me, because it really is about them, not about me. People who are cruel, insensitive, who strike out for whatever reason, psychologically they are not in a good space and they need to justify their actions on some level through their bullying, as they are miserable people. Your behavior in my opinion, doesn’t even come close to this psychological makeup. Keep up the good work.
Maria-Just want to say that I am overweight with health problems, starting mostly after I turned 40. I want to tell you that you are NOT a bully, or mean spirited in what you said. You are simply telling the truth, and this country is in a crisis with obesity. I too do not get this new attitude about how great it is to be “curvy”, sorry but most people who claim this are way beyond curvy. I think its great to accept yourself, cause we all have flaws. But…. It does seem to me that they are trying to normalize obesity. When I was young, hardly any childred at school were obese, but now, you see so many its scary. I admire that you work hard and live by what you believe, and please know you have actually inspired me to do better.
Ok, So I think what you are saying is ok and I believe you can say what you want. I just think you say it very poorly and offend so many people. I too have been over weight in the past and have lost all my weight. I have become healthy and feel fabulous and look fabulous too. I also just had a baby and gained no weight during my pregnancy. I worked out everyday and watched what I ate very closely. I do not rub this in my friends face who are pregnant and try to tell them they are fat. I think you should be inspiring people to get healthy and for people to want to be like you…and you are not doing that and you have the platform to do that.
You don’t want to inspire others, you want to them to stop being fat/obese. So no, you may not have called anyone fat. But you did call them obese, irresponsible, unhealthy, and otherwise criticzed them for having different aspirations than yours.
You don’t want to inspire others, you want to them to stop being fat/obese. So no, you may not have called anyone fat. But you did call them obese, irresponsible, unhealthy, and otherwise criticzed them for having different aspirations than yours. And you think they are inferior b/c of that.
No puedo creer que pienses así. Se siente mucho odio… Te aconsejo que si no quieres seguir esta pag web de vida saludable, ni si quiera ingreses porque al parecer de verdad te altera… saludos
Words can hurt or inspire. The hard part is having the reader or listener grasp the meaning behind the words. Intensions are important. There will always be haters when you live your truth. We all have to remember that “one size fits all” labels, never really fit all. Good job on creating the life you want for you and your family 🙂
I completely get your message and believe that it is an inspiration. It shows that regardless of what you may have going on with 3 kids, that you have not let anything stop you. I believe it will help to get some people thinking as to how they can readjust their lives and overcome their own obstacles to becoming healthy. I see it as encouragement and want to encourage you to keep it up.
I just learned about you today -and I think it’s disgusting that people would react to you in a negative way. You appear to be an intelligent, beautiful, and motivated woman who has her priorities in order. Good for you!! Anyone who criticizes you or is offended by you is just jealous and insecure!
Hola. tu publicación ha dado vuelta al mundo y quiero decirte que comparto tu opinión, agradezco que motives a las madres como yo para que no perdamos las esperanzas de que si queremos podemos trabajar duro para obtener lo que queramos. No comprendo esas mujeres que te criticaron, porque ellas mismas indican furiosas que no se ejercitan porque han preferido el trabajo o los estudios… Todos tenemos prioridades diferentes, unos cultivamos nuestro cuerpo y otros la mente … Lo que cada uno elija no puede ser criticado es la opción que cada uno toma… y de la misma manera que indicas ¿Cuál es tu excusa? se puede aplicar a cualquier ciencia tanto como para el cuerpo como para la mente…. Gracias por tu inspiración
The picture itself with you and your children is inspiring as you intended. However I cannot understand how you intended the caption “What’s you Excuse?” to be anything other than condescending, flippant, and demoralizing. This wasn’t thought through as to how new mothers, especially those suffering from post-partum depression, a very real, common condition, would perceive this message. Yes, this picture with it’s caption has brought tears, not inspiration.
I am a 42 year old mom with a ridiculously chiseled stomach and body. I have a 5 and a 3 year old and it probably took me 6 months post baby to feel like I was back to my body. I was a professional dancer and was always extremely fit and ate well. I am saddened by the negativity you have been subjected to as a result of your post. I believe Americans had been conditioned to act as victims when -isms became fashionable in the 80s. We medicate and get surgeries to look a certain way. We DON’T exercise like we’re on a mission. We trot along on our steppers while watching TV or talking on the phone and we wonder why, “It’s just not working.” I have women ask me often how they can look like me and when I tell them, they have a list of excuses why they can’t do what I’m doing. Our fast food society wants the biggest and best results with the least effort. I applaud you. We should NOT keep quiet about fitness and fatness. We need to be loud and challenge more people to work hard. Our obesity is killing us physically and financially as a country. It will be embarrassing for many and may hurt but that’s only because it is true and they know it. Thank you.
I love your picture! i honestly want to put it up in my home gym. To me it is motivational. Everyone should strive to be fit, healthy and in shape. It is so sad that you would get such negative feedback from something so positive. Women like you should be celebrated more. You find the time to keep yourself in shape and take care of your home. That’s a lot of hard work and no one should make you feeel bad about that. Keep it up!!
I’m late to this show but I find it incredulous that your picture and question sparked the feeding frenzy. Should you be Honey-Boo-Boo and her family? What is wrong with everyone? Why would anyone be offended at your healthy looking physique and cute kids? What I think is that any person who took offense to your photo and question should look to the quote of Mrs. Roosevelt. They did not need to feel inferior . . . they just opted to give themselves permission to feel victimized. I’m dumbfounded. Keep on Keeping On. You look fantastic!
Never listen to the Ney-sayers! YOU ARE GORGEOUS & HEALTHY. A huge inspiration for a lot of moms around the world. Keep on keeping on 🙂 Farida from Casablanca, Morocco.
I’d just like to say that I am inspired by you, Maria. You look great! I hope that after I have my own kids I can balance my life out in a way where I can have my ideal body and feel good about myself. Rock on!
Maria, i m totally with you! Having a good health is number 1 priority in my life too, the rest is just to follow! Those who against you actually wanted to be like you. Keep up the good work, Maria!
The original post didnt make me angry. It made me sad. Along with all of the comments from many of you like you will never look that good, that’s why you are angry, or similar. Because they are correct, that is my excuse.
I once had a six pack, very low body fat, and looked as healthy as in the picture above. It took 3+ hours per day in the gym along with a 600 calorie/day diet to do it. I had a bmi of 17. But it took 100% of my effort every single day. It didnt matte anyway, because I was still ugly, just skinny and ugly.
Now? After having 2 kids, one of whom died before birth, I know I am fat and disgusting at a bmi of 24. With my second child I didn’t focus on my weight and gained 80 lbs during pregnancy. It doesn’t matter that I lost 70 of it while exclusively breast feeding within 8 months. It doesn’t matter because I am less than she is, I know I am inferior to the picture above and always will be. It doesn’t matter how “clean” I eat. How many marathons I run. I will always be inferior, because I AM inferior.
What is my excuse for not looking like that? Because I am so inherently worthless that the only way I could look like that is if I were anorexic. It’s why I will always be fat and disgusting. Because I am worthless.
So yes, keep calling people who that picture and especially the caption fat and worthless and lazy. Because it reminds me of how worthless I am.
The internal dialogue that is coming out of you is really alarming. I know what you experienced because I was competitive at one time and it was a very unhealthy way to live. I performed cardio 2x/day, ate no fruit, lost my period and later developed an eating disorder when I gained 30lbs. I didn’t give up though – and I stopped comparing myself to bodies that were unrealistic. I began to pray and asking God to heal me – because really, the food and the body is just a manifestation of something else that is going on deeper within you. So stop focusing on the body, focus on YOU – focus on who you are, what you want, and why you want it. God Bless you.
Not everybody has the same mind set. What may be inspiring to you may be discouraging to another. I don’t know why people won’t mind their business about other people’s lifestyle in the first place. Does it affect you? Why? Because you can’t stand looking at the fat person sitting next to you on the bus or in line behind you in the store? Sounds like a personal problem. There are millions of people in the world. Everyone handles things differently. Everyone likes different things. Different music, different food, different style, different things that even turn them on. Not everyone can get over an eating disorder, not everyone can just be inspired easily one day and start working out. Everyone is mentally different. It’s not even about the body image. Eat right, and love yourself first. That perfect body is the bonus. In that order. People are so hung up on image and wonder why they aren’t getting the results. It’s about the healthy heart not about those skinny jeans you want to fit into. If you want to inspire publicly don’t speak on what inspires only you. Speak generally. It’s not sugar coating it’s called respecting another person and not assuming that they are lazy and such because they don’t live in the gym. Everyone is different. If taking care of kids and the husband is their only priority then so be it. It’s their life and their choice.You aren’t married to them and you sure as hell didn’t lay with them and make a baby. People need to be compassionate for people. Unlike these comments belittling and name calling as soon as they write something the other doesn’t like or doesn’t want to hear. Where is the respect? There are people that make excuses. People make excuse about everything actually not just health. Why they couldn’t get to work on time, why they couldn’t pay the rent, why they can’t take the kids to daycare, why they can’t cook dinner tonight, why they cheated on their wife/husband. What’s your excuse? Everyone is full of them. I can’t stand when people pressure women to be the ones to have the perfect body and be healthy to please the media and men that walk by them. Men die younger than women nowadays because of several health issues. It shouldn’t be a gender thing to have a healthy heart. Kids or no kids. Fat or not fat. People need to focus on their lives and make sure they are living a healthy lifestyle. Pretty sure all of us aren’t personal trainers so we don’t need to be worrying about people’s lifestyle choices. At the end of the day you can’t inspire and motivate everybody. At the end of the day it’s THEIR choice to live healthy and eat right. Are you living healthy and eating right? Don’t stress yourself out over other people and their personal choices because it has nothing to do with you. Worry about your family and friends. Inspire each other. Maybe then you will see a domino affect. Love each other and have a blessed day!
I think you misread part of the article. Maria originally posted the picture on HER PERSONAL FACEBOOK PAGE. She wasn’t out to get up in anyone’s business. The only intended audience were folks that purposely went to the page. As often happens in the web, the picture went viral. To go on and accuse Maria of not minding her own business or not being respectful of others is very unfair.
I want to start off by saying you look great. I’m sure it has taken a lot of hard work. Growing up I was naturally thin. I could eat whatever I wanted and I didn’t gain weight. Even when I tried to gain weight I couldn’t. Then I got married and I gained 30 lbs in less than a year. I stayed like that for almost 2 years. Then started P90X and eating better. I lost 25 lbs and kept the weight off. I got pregnant with mu first child last year. I kept doing P90X for the first 6 months of my pregnancy. My baby is 3 months old now. I haven’t been very good at working out regularly since I had my baby. It is a new year I’m going to start P90X3. I should be able to manage doing a 30 minute workout at least 5 days a week. Wish me luck. Don’t let people’s comments get you down. People are just jealous or feel guilty for not exercising and eating right.
I just came across this picture on Facebook. The problem with the caption “what’s your excuse?” Is that it can be interpreted the wrong way. While it may be a motivator for some women, there are a host of other women like myself who struggle with eating disorders and body image issues who do not benefit at all from seeing this. “What’s your excuse?” Is judgmental. You say that you don’t expect everyone to look like you but your caption implies that you do. I also briefly read that you yourself struggled with bulemia. I would think someone who has experienced an eating disorder would have more compassion towards people who struggle with their weight.
Well-said Amy. `
Hi there, I saw this pic several months ago and again yesterday on FB. The outrage has me baffled. Why people would take this as a direct insult speaks more about their issues than what you are trying to do here which is to motivate and light a fire under our as*es. We’re clearly a sensitive bunch when it comes to image, but I think you need to keep doing what you’re doing, sharing, and promoting for those that take your message as a push and for many, as hope, hope that they can turn their lives around and be healthier and ultimately happier. I’m going to start following you on IG. Keep up the good work! You’ve started something here…unfortunately with that comes some negativity and misinterpretation. You’ll survive 🙂 and you’ll encourage more people than you’ve disappointed. Be proud of that.
My brother suggested I may like this blog.
He was entirely right. This post actually made my day. You can not consider just how so
much time I had spent for this info! Thanks!
I’m so happy you posted that amazing pic…you are truly an inspiration…I got it.
Congrats! Be and do well! Cheers, Neal. 🙂
I think your motto is brilliant!!! Keep up the good work & thank you for motivating us Moms!!
It is during the time when was one was a child and before then as a
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After reading these comments, I think her point is well made. People read this and see this photo and somewhere in their heads they assume what Ms. Kang is REALLY thinking is “If you don’t look like me, you’re fat and lazy and useless and worthless.” Let me tell you – that’s your interpretation. I interpret something very different. Who’s to say your interpretation is correct and mine isn’t? Mine is just more positive.
I’m a size 4, but look nothing like his woman. I have a poochy bell from my 50 lbs of weight loss (no kids, so I can’t blame it in that!). My life isn’t nearly as accomplished as hers, but I’m not about to – for one second – somehow define my worth. None of you should, either.
Rock on, Ms. Kang! You look great and to me, are an inspiration. Don’t let the nay-sayers get you down.
Hi Maria – You are a true inspiration for all the fellow mothers. Your dedication is amazing. Keep up the good work!
Your pictures will provide inspiration to stay fit for many pregnant women and new moms. I have written a post about how to prevent and get rid of pregnancy stretch marks after getting inspired by your post
It is indeed sad that a picture which should inspire many is bringing out their insecurities in bunches.
But I am glad to say that I am inspired by you.
I want to look like Maria Kang even after marriage and kids.
I don’t want my hubby ever to feel that he married a beautiful woman but now has to do with an ugly slob.
Men often think that their value will increase after marriage due to increase in net worth and social status.But a woman’s value may decrease as her beauty progressively decrease.
Maria has based this stereotype and inspired women to stay beautiful & healthy forever.
I want to be a healthy example to my kids.
I want to be attractive till the day I die-not using botox or anything but with natural healthy diet and regular exercise.
Thank you Maria.
I see that this photo and page was posted in 2013. It is still just as powerful today as it probably was the day it was originally posted. I am 47 years old and was a dancer up until a motorcycle accident 11 years ago. I have yet to get the desire to workout, excercise, or increase my movement since the accident. I made excuses that I am just too busy. I have too much to do. My youngest daughter was born 3 years ago. I thought at that point I would definitely begin working out as I have another 18 years to go before I can financially relax. Still this was not a motivating enough purpose for me. I later realized after years of research how my body is actually working against me. Or my conscious goals by attempting to keep me safe. The chemicals placed in our foods, the lack of eating a true, real diet and of course exercise. I have since begin juicing which was the biggest change for me. Having that level of nutrition in my body has given me so much energy that I will actually work out every now and then. After reading this, I will share it with my family, mother, and wife in hopes that feel inspired as I do today. One moment at a time, one hour, one day. I am confident I will get there. Thank you Maria for your post and ability to share.