left out.

February 22, 2010

February 22, 2010

I am really hard on myself actually, incredibly hard. Here I am, 33 weeks pregnant, still trying to get 8 things done in one hour while carrying a teething baby and talking on the phone. On Sunday night I missed my nonprofit’s Parent Transformation boot camp. While I was fatigued from working that
afternoon, I still managed to put on my gear to get to Sac State that evening.until my fitness coordinator called and asked if I’m coming?
Surprised, I tell her I’m running a little late, but then she tells me the class is close to ending.

I was an hour off.

I HATE missing obligations. When I say I’m going to do something, I usually get it done.
And right now, I feel like I’m on this collision course where my big belly, my needy baby and my newfound fatigue is starting to affect my highly controlled life.

Today I thought about my fitness coordinator, Emily, and how busy she is teaching classes and making plans to move cross country. I read Facebook profile updates of friends who just had a kick-butt work out, came back from a vacation or plans on partying this weekend.and I feel left out?

On social networking sites I don’t usually have profile updates mainly because I don’t know what I would say.  Do I want to talk about what I think about all day?  I don’t think the world wants to know that I have a back ache, writer’s block or ten hundred errands. I don’t have witty commentary and I hate pretending I’m super happy, have the most exciting life or am extremely in love all the time.

It’s interesting what people put out there.

It’s also interesting what we choose to read and influence us.

Which for me, are those posts about people doing things.especially things I can’t do right now.

As I type I’m sitting with a sports bra and pajama pants trying to fight a drowsiness I’ve been combating all day. My exhausted baby fell asleep early from nights of interrupted crying bouts due to teething pains.  My house smells of green beans, rice pilaf and my first-ever steak (that I’ve cooked for David of course). And I’m looking at my to do’ list I wrote this morning beside me and can proudly cross 85% off.

The truth is that life is great. It’s simple right now. But it’s great.

Sometimes when we focus on things outside of our present moments, we lose
gratitude for the simple gifts that surround us right now.

I just booked a trip to San Diego in a couple weeks. My new business is progressing. Baby Nicholas (my unborn baby) is happily growing and moving often in my belly. My mother is healthy and my family’s planning an upcoming baby shower and in just 7 weeks God’s miracle will arrive into this world.

A year from now I plan on being in the best shape of my life, having traveled to Europe again, enjoying the fruits of my start-up business labors and spending quality time with the three men in my life: David,
Christian and Nicholas.

Every mental obstacle in life is all about transforming a negative energy, into a positive energy. Your personal success will lay highly on your ability to filter a negative thought and then expel a positive action.

I do that on a daily basis. In fact, I did that when I missed my Sunday boot camp.

Instead of putting on my pajamas and heading straight to bed in self-pity – I got in my car, visited my mother and went on a long walk with Tiger. It was a nice evening.

Maybe it wasn’t an impromptu trip to Mexico or a nice red wine at dinner but
it was a positive action I had control over and achieved.