Fearing who you are.

August 30, 2007

August 29, 2007

I snuggled up with Tiger underneath a star-less Monday night, waiting patiently for our moon to pass the earth’s shadow. At around 3am I witnessed the moon turn a reddish hue, the sound of all living creatures rose and became more alive. When the night darkened from the loss of its light, I saw a blanket of bright stars revealing its brilliance in the absence of its moon.  Incredible.

This past weekend I also attended the California state fair, a wedding, a birthday, and a baby shower. Somewhere in-between, I managed to bake brownies, visit my grandparents, attend church, go shopping, and hang out with my friend Josh.

While at the state fair, I saw award-winning art displays from young kids.  It was absolutely amazing to see beauty manifest itself in the form of a child’s drawing, or a sculpture or even a toy Lego house.  When I came home that evening I wondered what I had been doing at age 12 that instigated the woman I’ve become.  In my bio, around 1990-1993, I listed a few strong moments that foreshadows my passions today.

In 6th grade I fondly remember taping posters in hallways and passing flyers with my picture saying  “Exercise your right to vote: Vote for Maria Kang”.   That same year I mustered up public speaking courage when I won regionals for my recitation of Martin Luther King’s “I have a dream speech”.  Later that year, I was honored to have my first poem, “Midnight Dove”, a poem about me taking care of an injured bird, published after winning a city contest.

While I was very blessed at age 12, it was also one of the most mentally challenging moments in my upbringing.  When they announced my presidential win on the loudspeaker, no one in my class clapped.  I distinctly remember all the kids lining up for lunch while I stayed in my seat staring blankly at nowhere. As soon as my peers left, I began crying. I didn’t want to be different. I detested being unaccepted.  I feared who I was. That day, my favorite teacher, Mr. Gleaves, comforted me and affirmed that I deserved the win, that I should be proud of this day and to never allow others effect the way I feel.

There are moments when you lose people when you separate yourself from the crowd. While we are all same, we were all born uniquely different. We all have a special gift and a personal cause to fulfill in this life. Your talents are revealed when frigid people deflect from your brilliance and warm people are attracted to it.

There have been countless moments since my youth when I’ve stared at a vacant wall immersed in the happy and sad emotions life delivers.  Similar to the eclipse of a moon which escapes us twice a year, in moments of darkness, our light appears. In the obscurity of many dark shadows, a spirit alive will radiate.

I pray the brilliance that has revealed itself in the artwork of those children never departs them.

I pray that we never depart our true selves. If you played basketball as a child ….if you swam, danced, laughed, wrote, drew, played, cried, sang…whoever you were, you are still today. And whoever you are today, you will become tomorrow. Every moment is your moment and every day is yours to own.  So own it. Live it. Be it. Become it. That is my eternal prayer every single day.

Journal Pictures: August 27, 2007

Friday at the California State Fair with Stephanie! It was HOT!

bought that pink hat at the fair! It was hilarious. I wore heels (of
course) and I was suffering for 2 hours! But at least I looked good!

No deep fried snickers for me! People were laughing at my choice of ‘fair food.’

I took the kids to a birthday party earlier Saturday afternoon. This was seriously one of the longest weekends of my life!

Try playing in a hot, inflated jungle gym with kids. That’s a calorie burner! Happy Birthday Mia!

With Josh at Claudia’s wedding! We’re such posers! I picked that flower at the garden nearby. ha!

Flores was one of my closest ‘cheerleader friends’ in highschool! She
was always sooo smart and sooo pretty. I’m so proud of her.

is a pharmacist (and also married a pharmacist). I love living my life
through her since we’re so different! (she likes a sure thing and I’m a
calculated risk taker)

mother held a surprise Baby Shower for one of her employee’s: Jeffrey,
and his wife Carmi, Sunday night. She was soo surprised! I bought her a
“Baby Sign Language” book. Of course, I had to get a book! Who needs
baby clothes, right?

played with my old crowns. It was sooo funny! I taught her how to go up
to people with a big smile and say, “Will you sponsor me?” LOL!

I made my infamous brownies. I’m re-knowned for adding my ‘Maria-ness’
with the toy links, the bathroom duck and the written sign. Hey! At
least you can re-use the decorations, right? And it was made with

This was taken at the wedding. I’m thinking of taking photography classes. Isn’t this a cool shot?!

camped out in my backyard most of the night. That phone was used to
text all my friends at 3am. I apologize for waking y’all up but it was
sooo cool!!

He had so much fun. Isn’t his ears cute?

These are moments when I wish for a big telescope-like camera for my birthday. LOL. That’s the moon!