November 13, 2006
Usually I tend to be more positive when I write my weekly entries and always look at the bright side of situations – but behind some of my writings is a lot of anger,confusion, exhaustion and resentment…feelings I tend to overcome by transferring into positive actions and understandings. I’m not going to paint a pretty picture right now because nothing I can say, write or paint can mask the annoyance I feel in my heart right now.
In the last week I have encountered a lot of situations in which my spirit was placed on the line…and every time it stood there, it got shot down.This weekend I felt internally dead from the invisible but damaging hits I received from sources I once held close to my heart.
People I trusted, things I believed in, stuff I lived by…was all starting to fall down piece by piece. While the pain of my awakening was a hard reality check, it was a true lesson nonetheless. In the past I would’ve handled situations differently – I would’ve cried endlessly, become angry at myself, or create distractions in my daily life.
But I didn’t this time.
I sat in my room and let the pain of the experience absorb me. I allowed the negative thoughts cloud my brain. I consumed every piece of pain every person, place and thing gave me. I didn’t act, I didn’t react…I just froze and allowed the negative moments pass me without taking my spirit with it.
I became acquainted with the darkness that befriended me this past week. And now, I’m ready to let it go.
Tomorrow is a new day. Tomorrow I will become reborn into a new person with abetter understanding of the new voyage I now see and need to take on. Tomorrow I will close the past and only look forward.
In my life, the only things I ever regret, is when I allow a source take presence and control of my mind. The ONLY thing that wins my battle every time is my fervent spirit.
I fought hard this weekend…but my commitment to my values, my principles and my personal life philosophy saved me.
Whenever you undergo a life challenge, always refer back to your spirit. Your spirit will always save you.
Have a blessed week everyone.