Let me set the stage for you… It is 2022. I start emailing my doctor about re-occurring health issues. In June I notice extreme dryness around my lips, followed by full blown eczema on my face, chronic fatigue, and rectal bleeding. I request blood work and am told to take iron pills and stool softeners for hemorrhoids. A couple months later I receive an email from Kaiser, a health plan I’ve had since I was born, that my premiums have…
I am not the same person who was diagnosed eight months ago. When being told you have Stage IV cancer, it’s not something you process in one day. You notice everything. You see everything. You feel everything. So much that mattered before, doesn’t matter now. All the worldly ambitions, societal expectations and keeping up with whatever - means nothing.
I’ve asked ‘what is the meaning of life” almost every day since I was a…
Last Friday I woke up at 4am to a gnawing pain in my lower abdomen. I’ve underwent a lot of tummy pain recently and just had a colonoscopy for low iron and internal bleeding. A week prior I complained of pain to my sister – who is also a nurse – and she frustratingly asked, “What would it take for you to finally go to the ER?” I stubbornly responded, “if I could no longer breathe.” As I laid in…
May 30, 2021 I’ve been internally occupied for some time now. Last year I began a more aggressive journey towards self-realization. I went on a plant medicine retreat. I attended a weeklong advanced meditation retreat with Dr. Joe Dispenza and followed up with another one months after. I’ve been meditating nearly daily, journaling, reflecting, praying and crying. There were moments when I felt time stand still – when things were happening around me, but I was not ‘in’ me. I…
Dear Followers, I’m sorry. I don’t like regrets, but I have a few in life. As I look at my scarred, numb and deflated breasts today, I regret ever thinking they weren’t good enough. I fell into the insecurity trap. I remember the day I made the decision to augment my breasts clearly. I didn’t research. I never thought about needing or wanting it before. But, when I was told it was something I “had” to do to win –…
July 10, 2019 This time two weeks ago I was preparing for my breast explant surgery. I was cool as a cucumber, anxious but ready to get this surgery on the road. I’ve been wanting to explant for years but was nervous about the risks, the recovery and the reality that I wasn’t born with fuller breasts. The chronic fatigue, joint issues, heart palpitations, chest pressure and inflammation was still aggressively impacting me. Instead of staying nervously awake, I was…
I surprised my stepdaughter with a money cake for her graduation because she’s been a hard worker her entire life and is leaving for college soon! She knows I can’t gift her with a boring check, so I created this creative money cake to surprise her on her graduation day! This cake can be made with minimal material and within 3-4 hours (depending on how fast you roll money!). Here are my tips: Tips: Do not use super/hot glue on…