Killing my Ego

December 15, 2007

December 14, 2007

I’ve been terrible at updating this site. There are a few reasons why that is: Firstly, my computer crashed last week and I just had it shipped back to me today. Secondly, I’ve been busy with tons of parties and Christmas preparations. Lastly, I’ve been inundated with a non-ending ‘to do’ list including teaching Catechism classes, writing articles, running errands and working out.

This Christmas season makes me very nostalgic of holiday’s past – I still have yet to buy ONE Christmas gift, but I’ve been able to send out cards, bake cookies and plant a cute little Christmas tree outside the house. This year however, is very different from last year…I’m not stressed with commuting to work in San Francisco, I’m not dealing with office politics, I’m not single and I’m more at peace with my life, my body, my choices, my family and my faith.

Some of you who have been journeying with me this past year have seen crazy changes…

 4 years ago, I graduated from college, competed in 7 competitions, moved to San Francisco, broke up with a long term boyfriend and began working post-college. That year also marked the beginning of my battle with Bulimia.

4 years later, I quit my job at 24 hour fitness corporate, moved back to Sacramento, left Louis, founded a nonprofit, began freelance writing and began dating a man named David.

I also left ‘whoever I thought I was’ – behind. In the death of moments past, I now stand ‘nameless’ beholding no title representing who I am. In these last years, my Ego has crashed against a brick building collapsing the poor foundation of a superficial life based on titles, tokens and things.

We will all face moments in life when we finally stop chasing all the things we think we want and running from things we think we don’t want.  There are moments when you stop gauging your happiness against external devices – you forgive yourself…you love yourself…and most importantly, you get to BE yourself.

Letting go of who I was allowed me to become who I truly am.
When you allow your past to die, you become reborn in your present.
When you disengage yourself with your Ego, you connect once again with your spirit.
When you absorb the act of love, you forgive others…and most importantly, you forgive yourself.

This holiday season I am allowing, disengaging and absorbing the constant death and rebirth of Maria Kang. Thank you for being a presence and God Bless all of you.

Journal Pictures December 14, 2007

Tiger Baby! So, so, so, cute!! David decorated him and took this pic!

David surprised me with a Christmas tree!! I loved it!!!

Christmas is my FAVORITE time of the year. I baked 12 dozen cookies for all my friends on Tuesday!

Saturday evening with my Christian Life Program Winter Ball~

David was soooo handsome that night He is a blessing to me.

With my good friend Daniel Dizon!

This pretty girl is Neeen-yah!

At Bubble Lounge later that evening (for a bday pty) with my close girlfriend, Boryna Mak~
I didn’t drink too much. I had 2 glasses of wine and a shot with her, but BOY was I sick on the drive home

Boryna accidently spilled red wine on me and David! Luckily, we don’t care about little stuff.
It’s just clothes! He’s such a sport.

My parents annual Christmas party Sunday evening – over 200 guests showed!

I emceed the event with my Uncle Eddie. Here is my family and my mother’s carehome staff.
I’m so proud of my family. We are all very close.

With the kids – They danced around the party all night!

Handing out presents with Danielle and Katelyn. Mom had presents for everyone.

One of the most awesomest cooks at the party – Alfredo!!