April 9, 2006

 "Be" - to exist in reality or actuality.

 I titled my first e-book "be" because ever since I was a little girl I wondered about life - I was curious about people - I was passionate about answers.

"Being something" is a question I wonder about often. I think we all want to 'be' something…but I think more importantly, we want to fill a sense of 'belonging' or unity with a source greater than ourselves.

While I'm not a doctor, a teacher a nurse a scientist or a president…I hope that I still exhibit traits of healing, teaching, helping, experimenting and leading - all essential traits that truly 'make up' all these 'professionals.' Who we are a culmination of what we continuously do - it is not an end in itself…it's a continuous, transient, everlasting journey toward awareness.

All my life, I've been trying to escape all the symbols and archetype representations of the roles I play in the mentality of the people who choose to allow me into their lives. When I was a child, I wanted to be respected as owning wisdom like an adult. When I was a student, I wanted to be respected as beholding knowledge like a teacher. When I was un-athletic, I wanted to be respected as possessing strength like an athlete. 

Ultimately, what I desired most, was 'respect' - respect for 'being'…I wanted respect for being human…for being just like my protagonist: strong, weak, wise, dumb, young, old - because in this fleeting lifetime, we are all these things…none of us can escape the fate of our mortality - none of us can resist the reality of our 'being' - none of us are better or worse than anyone else.

We live our lives based upon an 'idea' - an 'idea' of what our 'being' means to us…this realization creates purpose and is thus promoted through our actions. We are not white, black, yellow or brown - we are not doctors, lawyers or teachers - we are an idea.

Everything we are, everything we will ever become - everything we will ever be remembered for……will be a result from the 'idea'…the 'purpose for living' that streamed from our souls in our lifetime.

Life is more than ice cream and Mexican food - more than Coach bags and SUV's - Life is more than winning high awards, or making big money - life is more than this…I want to believe there is more to this. I know there is more to this.