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Site Last Updated on August 19  2008
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August 19, 2008

Like everyone – sometimes I wonder if this is the life I was meant to live.

These past two weeks I went to Mississippi and spent some quality time with David’s kids. We played in the park, painted pottery and swam at the beach. When I initially first met David, I was definitely surprised he had kids. I have never dated anyone who was divorced with kids.  Since my heart had always been open to adoption, I wasn’t derailed by his past. I also knew in my heart that love was unconditional, unselfish and understanding. I am not perfect and neither was he...realizing my humility allowed me to know him more and become more endeared to his passion.

David married at 20 years old after a very short courting period. He spent 9 years in the Marines and a couple years in private security in Iraq. After a car bomb that left him with only 5% chance of surviving, he endured after getting punctured by a piece of metal in his brain’s left hemisphere. In the last couple years he re-learned how to walk and talk again. Last year he had cranioplasty to adjust his head’s symmetry.

I initially fell in love with David through deep, philosophical conversations on life and love. I was intrigued by his life experience and respected who he was as a person. For the first time, I began looking at someone through my heart and not just my eyes. I looked into his soul and not just his symbol.

For the first time in my relationship career, instead of asking myself, “how can this person serve me?” I asked: "How can I serve this person?”

Love is not about getting – it’s about giving. It’s reaching a point when you lose a piece of who you thought you were to ‘unselfishly’ re-define yourself to fit with another person. Love is about two spiritually becoming one. It’s about losing your self interest and your personal ego for a union based upon a perfect love, a love emulating God’s love, which is unconditional and everlasting. This is not an end result  - loving someone is a continuous journey towards self enlightenment. 

In our journey, being an imperfect human, I have definitely battled my personal ego. Naturally, I had envisioned things in my life ‘being’ a certain way. I became challenged with not being his first wife, not having his first child …etc. I felt that my efforts in preparing myself for marriage were not matched by the same preparation. In my darkest moments I felt like I was his second choice, while he had been my first.

There is a powerful truth about life.

You will always attract someone who resonates with your energy field. Often there is no rationality behind the pairing of your chemistry - for David and I, my rationality was overshadowed by a light brigther than my human senses.

Love has no logic.

You can’t choose who you fall in love with – but when LOVE stands in front of you…you can choose to walk away.

David taught me that.

Every day I make a conscious choice to love him as he chooses to love me each day. Tomorrow morning I’ll recommit myself again, just as I will every week and every year of my life. Life is a choice and everything that happens was meant to happen.

I know without doubt, that this is the life I was meant to live.