Choosing to be “the one”

November 21, 2007

November 20, 2007

I am currently on my laptop, in the passengers seat on my way to LA from Las Vegas. We started in Mississippi then drove to Tennessee, Iowa, Arkansas, South Dakota, Wyoming, Utah, Arizona and Nevada.  We visited great
parks such as Mount Rushmore, Fossil Lakes, Arches Park, Meteor Crater and Grand Canyon.The past week has been filled with rest stop breaks, car karaoke, impromptu hiking and deep conversations on life, feelings and future.

Most often in my past, Ive enjoyed traveling on lone car rides and international trips,
so it was definitely interesting sharing this time with someone who could potentially drive me crazy after 2 hours. (and vice versa) While
spending this much time with a romantic interest was a gamble, it’s been a great play and wonderful card hand.

I caught David up on my current life ambitions in nonprofit work and fitness, my past experiences with career and travels and my unique, invisible, cyber connection with all of you. I learned more about his harsh experiences in Iraq, his special relationship with his kids, and his ambitions to travel abroad, volunteer in neuro-rehab centers and build a family. We met when I became immediately captivated by his poetry writings I found online. Not only did he behold great wisdom fueled by adverse, past experiences, but he also had a strong understanding of love and articulated his feelings with careful words.

After experiencing many past relationships, I have meditated on a common theme that prevented me from commitment in the past. I have found that externally secure men are most often internally insecure. I have found that physically strong men, are most often emotionally weak.  Most of all, I have found that men who live superficially in attaining objects from this world, are not men who live spiritually in attaining truth and compassion because they are instead: of this world.

In all my professional and personal relationships, I had left because of an intense need to grow due to unconscious, imposed, suffocation. It is in my nature to experience, to think and all the while remaining loyal throughout my independent explorations.  When someone else lacks security in their being, clarity in their self awareness, failure in their spiritual growth and has a shortage in emotional intelligence, it is only a matter of time when those deficiencies reveal themselves and break the harmony of our united existence.

Loving someone requires trust… For Trust is Faith and Faith is LOVE.

Love means that you must allow someone to grow and yet KNOW they are not growing away from you.

Love means not holding someone and yet KNOW that you hold them.

Love means seeing an unrealized vision and yet KNOW that it is as real as the computer keys I am now touching

is to have faith in the beauty of your truth, your vision and your life.

I’ve always held a steadfast faith that destiny serves the dreamers. We don’t randomly succeed or become the one we consciously choose our destination and state that I am the one.  

When I celebrate my 50 year anniversary with my husband one day we will both know that we didn’t settle, we didn’t marry because it was the next step in life….

we united because of his secure ‘knowing’ that he is ‘the one’ chosen to love me and “I” to love him..

Thank you David, for inspiring this journal entry.

Warmth in Winter
by David G. Casler
(this was written before we met. His reference to ‘be’ reminds me of my 1st ebook!)

How can I love you?
The only way I know how; which like the new days and life,
is bright and ever moving forward.

How can I adore you?
With my understanding into the depths of what IS you,
always swimming in the new tide of your essence.

How can I make you smile?
Well, I would fall to make you laugh,
but the sensual kisses of happiness are easier on the knees, and always fill the soul with passionate giggles.

How can I make you understand?
With time and sonnets,
like the ever blowing winds of change, that I sing through storms,
for you.

How are you chosen?

You must be strong in heart and mind,
knowing that I see your heart as an island,
that if I dare left, the fierce winds would slam me up against the rocky cliffs of isolation and agony.

You must be confident,
knowing my mind will only grasp your beauty,
what you may fear, I can’t see, because I choose not to see anything but you.

You must be my balance,
as so I am there for you always, you must stand by me when
the scales have tipped ever so slightly in any direction.

A watched pot never boils, and eyes that don’t lovingly look never see the changes of life and people.
What I am now, that you adore, will be more than you can ever imagine,
so you must take notice of life, and appreciate growth ,
as you do a baby born from the love of two people.
Will you not notice every step, every new word, every new facial expression.
And so that is the attention two love’s must give one another,
loving the endless new.

How are you chosen?

You choose to BE.

Journal Pictures November 20, 2007


Running somewhere in Wyoming


I picked up some markers and a pad at Walmart and drew a lot while we drove.

I rt4 rt5 rt6 us

years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you
didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail
away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails.
Explore. Dream. Discover.” — Mark Twain