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A Real Apology….

August 14, 2019

Dear Followers, I’m sorry. I don’t like regrets, but I have a few in life. As I look at my scarred, numb and deflated breasts today, I regret ever thinking they weren’t good enough. I fell into the insecurity trap. I remember the day I made the decision to augment my breasts clearly. I didn’t research. I never thought about needing or wanting it before. But, when I was told it was something I “had” to do to win –…

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13 days post-explant surgery

July 11, 2019

July 10, 2019 This time two weeks ago I was preparing for my breast explant surgery. I was cool as a cucumber, anxious but ready to get this surgery on the road. I’ve been wanting to explant for years but was nervous about the risks, the recovery and the reality that I wasn’t born with fuller breasts. The chronic fatigue, joint issues, heart palpitations, chest pressure and inflammation was still aggressively impacting me. Instead of staying nervously awake, I was…

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Our Trip to Croatia and Bosnia

July 6, 2019

For months my husband teased me about going to Croatia. His Marine-tempered jokes about people stealing his kidney went on until the day we boarded our flight from Sacramento to Seattle, then off to our connecting flight in Frankfurt, Germany then Dubrovnik, Croatia. I chose to go to Croatia because I kept reading about Medjugorje, a small city in Bosnia where six children witnessed the apparition of Mother Mary in 1981. I first read about it from a book I…

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My Story: Breast Implant Illness

June 19, 2019

Last year I started having rapid heart palpitations. Alongside chest pain, I decided to book an explant consultation with a local plastic surgeon recommended by a good friend who also explanted with him. I explained that since my surgery in 2003, I’ve had numbness, swelling and pain. The chest pressure had become uncomfortable for months and I wanted to discuss options. We talked about explanting. We talked about risks and the reality of being left with small, deflated breasts when…

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Important Life Lessons…

March 28, 2019

March 27, 2019 When I was very little, we lived in a poor area called Hunter’s Point in San Francisco. We lived in old Navy housing, a seemingly beautiful place with odd happenings. On the way to school, we passed by poorer projects where I saw graffiti-stained buildings and old, worn-down sheets used for window curtains. I remember watching children, not much older than my 10-year-old self, sniffing hairspray and paint to get high. I remember the disgust I felt…

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How to Detox Your Life.

December 26, 2018

This past month I began seriously abstaining from foods that bloated me. I liked waking up with a flat tummy and feeling lean, flexible and strong throughout the day. I told myself…I want to feel this way all the time. I’m tired of dealing with inflammation, stomach pain and digestive discomfort. I only want to consume foods that positively strengthened and nourished my body. And then it hit me. I wanted to start feeling that way about everything. I began…

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Are you a Leader?

October 30, 2018

I think most people want to be a leader. The title evokes feelings of respect, honor and integrity.  It means you give direction, provide hope, instill faith and clear the path for others. While many want to be, not many can be. Think about someone asking you to become a manager at your job. You’ve seen what managers go through. They don’t get paid substantially more but their hours and commitment rise. People start having more public opinions of you…

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I’m not just a body.

October 24, 2018

October 24, 2018 It’s been a good year since I started re-evaluating my life on social media. I didn’t want to equate my personal value via likes, comments or followers. I didn’t want to ride with the tide of fitness influencers who posted sexy selfies, heavily repeated motivational quotes or hard-to-do-workouts. I didn’t want to lose myself in the process of expressing myself in a world of faceless feedback. I started writing about what I cared about – which was…

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Healing takes time

July 30, 2018

July 22, 2018 As I was heading down the smooth concrete of the bike ramp, the velocity coupled with a tight downturn was uncontrollable for the novice skateboarder in me. I fell hard below my knee. It hurt. I waited a few minutes for the adrenaline to numb the pain so I can try again. Moments later, I would try that advance turn again – this time, landing and overextending my knee. I hurt, but this time, I knew it…

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Speaking to my internal Rebel

April 17, 2018

April 17, 2018 I stopped updating my fitness blogs around the time too many people started reading it. Why? I didn’t want people to read my journey and try to emulate it. I didn’t want to misinform people who are at stage one to start at “stage seven” just because I was blogging about it. It took years for me to develop my core, perfect my form, build my endurance, increase my strength and improve my balance. Telling people to…

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