Browsing Category

Life

My Mirror’s Reflection…

August 17, 2022

Late May, after a deep and emotional conversation – I noticed the skin around my lips become uncomfortably dry. As I prepped for my stepdaughter’s birthday, I would press a napkin against my lips to soothe the skin as it began to weep. Months passed and despite using different ointments, antibiotics and balms, nothing cured the cycle of it cracking, peeling, weeping and sometimes bleeding. Besides a couple incidents when I had minor body hives from stress, I had never…

Continue Reading

Getting Lost.

July 22, 2022

He asked me how I felt. I don’t feel anything. I don’t feel happy nor sad. I’m pensive, but also not thinking of anything at all. I just exist throughout my day without attention, stimulation or sensation. It’s the strangest feeling to not feel anything at all. The last few months have been filled with work, friends, travel, a yoga retreat, concerts and events. There’s not much ‘down time’ generally in my world – but there is a difference between…

Continue Reading

Becoming “Maria”

July 4, 2022

Late last year I did something very “Maria”…. I picked up the phone and called David’s ex wife. After nearly 15yrs watching them battle it out (and being told to stay out of it) – I knew it was time to get into the ring. I knew everyone was tired and traumatized by this connection. I knew we all wanted to grow, but was caged in the past. Most of all, I knew LOVE was needed to guide and heal…

Continue Reading

Following my heart.

May 30, 2022

Months ago I sat in my office midday, feeling despair, disconnection and division after (another) explosive argument with my husband. In my grief, I took out a piece of paper and wrote two letters. With my head on the desk and a puddle of tears beneath my cheeks, I wrote one letter to my deceased mother. I told her how much I missed her and needed her in that moment as I asked for guidance, support and faith. The second…

Continue Reading

My Spiritual Journey

April 9, 2022

If you were to read my earliest blogs, it’s astounding how so little has changed. When I began this website, I was 25, single and living in San Francisco. In 2005 the world had yet to experience the black hole of social media, controversial viral posts and distracting 15-sec dance videos. I was writing my way through this world, seeking to connect and tell my story because I felt so many was defining mine up to that point. 17 years…

Continue Reading

Seeing the gaps.

March 17, 2022

March 16, 2022 I’ve been seeking small pauses in my life. They aren’t big, normally they last for one second – but it’s the moment when you realize you are in transition, aware or in auto drive. I will give you some examples… When I fall asleep at night, or while I am dreaming, I am aware when my consciousness shifts and there is an energetic wave enveloping my body and brain preparing it to go into a deeper slumber.…

Continue Reading

What’s Your Story?

January 31, 2022

January 31, 2022 There was a ten year challenge floating around Facebook recently and I decided to recapture an image I took when the boys were 3, 2 and 8 months. It was a famous, controversial, conversational and inspiring portrait of who I was a decade ago….a woman who needed attention. I had overcome many things at that point. I struggled with my weight throughout my twenties and despite having three kids in a row, I was in great shape.…

Continue Reading

Only YOU can Save You.

October 4, 2021

October 4, 2021 Be f*cking honest with yourself. As I write this I am performing home dialysis for my mother – a task no layman should ever do, but WILL do if required of them. I have watched and lovingly supported her through strokes, heart attacks, kidney failure, diabetes…and every single time she was additionally hit with pain, depression, anxiety… “They” always had a pill to save her. And it never did. It masked symptom after symptom. Despite emotional stress,…

Continue Reading

Breathwork with Jon Paul Crimi

September 6, 2021

September 6, 2021 In the last year of not being able to travel outward, David and I have been journeying inward. It started with a plant medicine retreat for his birthday, followed by a Dr. Joe Dispenza retreat for mine. David partook in a breathwork class, even expressing one day he’d like to be certified. We started uncovering our hidden traumas and cyclical life patterns that prevented us from loving ourselves and truly becoming our best selves. We saw how…

Continue Reading

How “WOKE” are you?

August 18, 2021

August 18, 2021 What would you do, if you didn’t care what other people thought? If you posted and didn’t care how many likes you got? Or if you created something and didn’t care if anyone acknowledged it? How would it feel to not care? I go about my days so operationally – so abundantly – knowing that I’m just checking shit off my list. I’m efficient. I’m a fixer. I get stuff done. But how “woke” am I in…

Continue Reading