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Life

Following my heart.

May 30, 2022

Months ago I sat in my office midday, feeling despair, disconnection and division after (another) explosive argument with my husband. In my grief, I took out a piece of paper and wrote two letters. With my head on the desk and a puddle of tears beneath my cheeks, I wrote one letter to my deceased mother. I told her how much I missed her and needed her in that moment as I asked for guidance, support and faith. The second…

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My Spiritual Journey

April 9, 2022

If you were to read my earliest blogs, it’s astounding how so little has changed. When I began this website, I was 25, single and living in San Francisco. In 2005 the world had yet to experience the black hole of social media, controversial viral posts and distracting 15-sec dance videos. I was writing my way through this world, seeking to connect and tell my story because I felt so many was defining mine up to that point. 17 years…

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Seeing the gaps.

March 17, 2022

March 16, 2022 I’ve been seeking small pauses in my life. They aren’t big, normally they last for one second – but it’s the moment when you realize you are in transition, aware or in auto drive. I will give you some examples… When I fall asleep at night, or while I am dreaming, I am aware when my consciousness shifts and there is an energetic wave enveloping my body and brain preparing it to go into a deeper slumber.…

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What’s Your Story?

January 31, 2022

January 31, 2022 There was a ten year challenge floating around Facebook recently and I decided to recapture an image I took when the boys were 3, 2 and 8 months. It was a famous, controversial, conversational and inspiring portrait of who I was a decade ago….a woman who needed attention. I had overcome many things at that point. I struggled with my weight throughout my twenties and despite having three kids in a row, I was in great shape.…

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Breathwork with Jon Paul Crimi

September 6, 2021

September 6, 2021 In the last year of not being able to travel outward, David and I have been journeying inward. It started with a plant medicine retreat for his birthday, followed by a Dr. Joe Dispenza retreat for mine. David partook in a breathwork class, even expressing one day he’d like to be certified. We started uncovering our hidden traumas and cyclical life patterns that prevented us from loving ourselves and truly becoming our best selves. We saw how…

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Journey into my Healing.

May 30, 2021

May 30, 2021 I’ve been internally occupied for some time now. Last year I began a more aggressive journey towards self-realization. I went on a plant medicine retreat. I attended a weeklong advanced meditation retreat with Dr. Joe Dispenza and followed up with another one months after. I’ve been meditating nearly daily, journaling, reflecting, praying and crying. There were moments when I felt time stand still – when things were happening around me, but I was not ‘in’ me. I…

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Leaving my thirties…

January 15, 2021

January 14, 2021 I was nearly swept away this past December. Despite not having to attend holiday parties due to the pandemic, each day was exhaustively filled with tasks. The hustle each year has made me resent the season due to the overwhelming emphasis on gift giving. My sons thankfully normally expect just a single gift from “us” (I put quotations because my husband rarely knows what was gifted) – but even then, a part of me feels guilt for…

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God Bless our Broken Road

November 10, 2020

I often tell the story of how I met my husband on MySpace – when in reflection, I know I “met” him when he decided to join the Marines in 1996. While he grew up in Hawaii, he unsurprisingly chose to go to boot camp at Parris island, the same place his father went as he is a man of traditions. He joined the infantry like his father – he was a grunt, so I was a grunt, he would…

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Under Attack….

June 16, 2020

Our country is in a period of unrest. There are protests, riots, looting and debates regarding the systemic racism that has unfairly effected African Americans for hundreds of years. Despite being a minority who studied American History and the forecast of a potential race war (as a result of systemic racism) – I have also underwent public scrutiny. Either I am too quiet, too loud, too opinionated, too complicit, too positive, too involved, or too uninvolved. I’ve been told from…

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Let’s Make America Better. (together)

May 27, 2020

Someone recently told me they hated seeing patriotic home decor because they didn’t like our country. The proud American in me responded, “Well why don’t you move if you don’t like it?” While this person left insulted, I realized in my reflections, that I shouldn’t have responded in that way.⁣ ⁣ It’s ok to not be ok with your country.⁣ ⁣ It’s ok to get irked by patriotic decorations.⁣ ⁣ What’s NOT ok is hating something and doing nothing.⁣ ⁣…

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