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Are you a Leader?

October 30, 2018

I think most people want to be a leader. The title evokes feelings of respect, honor and integrity.  It means you give direction, provide hope, instill faith and clear the path for others. While many want to be, not many can be. Think about someone asking you to become a manager at your job. You’ve seen what managers go through. They don’t get paid substantially more but their hours and commitment rise. People start having more public opinions of you…

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I’m not just a body.

October 24, 2018

October 24, 2018 It’s been a good year since I started re-evaluating my life on social media. I didn’t want to equate my personal value via likes, comments or followers. I didn’t want to ride with the tide of fitness influencers who posted sexy selfies, heavily repeated motivational quotes or hard-to-do-workouts. I didn’t want to lose myself in the process of expressing myself in a world of faceless feedback. I started writing about what I cared about – which was…

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Healing takes time

July 30, 2018

July 22, 2018 As I was heading down the smooth concrete of the bike ramp, the velocity coupled with a tight downturn was uncontrollable for the novice skateboarder in me. I fell hard below my knee. It hurt. I waited a few minutes for the adrenaline to numb the pain so I can try again. Moments later, I would try that advance turn again – this time, landing and overextending my knee. I hurt, but this time, I knew it…

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Speaking to my internal Rebel

April 17, 2018

April 17, 2018 I stopped updating my fitness blogs around the time too many people started reading it. Why? I didn’t want people to read my journey and try to emulate it. I didn’t want to misinform people who are at stage one to start at “stage seven” just because I was blogging about it. It took years for me to develop my core, perfect my form, build my endurance, increase my strength and improve my balance. Telling people to…

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Facing my High School Bully.

February 9, 2018

February 8, 2018 I was scared every day of Freshman year. I was bullied by girls who preyed on my unwillingness to fight back or stand up to their name-calling, physical threats or aggression towards my shyness. For years, I would cry alone in a dark closet, pulling my hair, deeply scratching my arms and wishing I was never born. The external pain I caused myself never eclipsed the internal pain of rejection, hatred and nonacceptance I felt from my…

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Waiting on Perfect.

December 7, 2017

I had several goals this year. I wanted to save my marriage. I wanted to get out of my comfort zone. I wanted to meet new people. I wanted to become a better person. I quantified these goals as best I could. I completed the Spartan Trifecta, sold out of belly balls, hosted a NEM retreat, partnered with amazing brands, traveled a lot, expanded my network and wrote a few ebooks. While these are great achievements, my greatest accomplishment was…

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How I stopped feeling sorry for myself.

September 26, 2017

I cried throughout much of my first pregnancy. It was unexpected. I was unemployed and had no health insurance. I wasn’t married to my boyfriend-at-the-time and all the hopes and dreams I once had seemed to disappear. This unexpected event was a stark contrast to the person I believed I was. Growing up, I often played by the rules. I got good grades, went to a good college and a had a good job. I excelled in leadership and communication,…

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Testing my Endurance

May 11, 2016

As I ran passed Mile 23, my moistened eyes emotionally grasped that this moment had finally arrived. I was going to complete my first marathon. All the training, early mornings, hours on the treadmill and runs around Laguna Creek and Folsom Lake will have amounted to this single moment in time. At the corner of my eye, I can see my husband, pounding the pavement alongside me, carrying a 20lb backpack, a large camera draped around his neck and a…

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Developing My Grit.

April 19, 2016

April 17, 2016 I created this website over ten years ago because I wanted to start telling my story. Since I was little my shyness was perceived as snobby, my confidence was considered arrogant, my honesty was viewed as abrasive and my passion was seen as aggressive. Even if I didn’t have direct contact with a person, I was already judged, misunderstood and criticized based on the limited information they had, whether it’s how I looked or a single altercation…

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Am I Good Enough?

January 29, 2016

I wonder if this is the life I was meant to live? I’ve written that phrase in my personal diaries several times since I began documenting my thoughts in 4th grade. Every day I wake I robotically empty the dishwasher, answer my emails, cook, clean, exercise, work and run errands. There is a long list of have to do’s, need to do’s, but rarely anything I truly want to do. Like write this journal. I’ve been meaning to write for…

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