A New Chapter.

May 11, 2023

I remember sitting across from my mother and her friend at lunch exactly seven years ago in a state of bliss. Despite what had erupted the past year in my marriage, I had a deep seeded knowing that I was supposed to persevere. I recall them looking at me in awe and a little annoyance, as my glossy eyes and confident energy exclaimed that while David and I were undergoing an extremely dark period, our life chapter wasn’t over, yet.  

I could feel this calling in my soul and sensed my commitment to keep going, in my being. I began investing in leadership summits and expanding our personal network. Through my devotion towards personal growth, we ventured into plant medicine, attended meditation retreats and became certified in Breathwork. In these last years, with the kids older and my mother-in-law in town, I planned international trips again, throughout Europe, Mexico, Czech Republic and Croatia.

I began voraciously reading spiritual literature and practiced meditation weekly. As I peeled each protective layer of my essence, I started to surprisingly unpack a series of traumatic emotions I felt as a child and therefore developed coping mechanisms for. I became a witness to my internal wiring and external programming. I saw how much I people pleased and was addicted to distractions and awards like a drug. I saw my young role as a responsible caretaker and how I unconsciously continued seeking people to care for in my adulthood. I saw my fear of being alone.

When my mother died, something in my soul permanently shifted.

I knew how important it was to live one’s truth and let love – not fear – be the guiding light. I knew that negative emotions of shame, guilt, depression and stress, would manifest in diseases if not processed properly. I knew that life was short, but also incredibly long and painful, if it wasn’t the life you truly wanted to live. I also knew that after years of striving – there was a deep acceptance and unquestionable knowing, that my marriage was over.

I battled this truth, naturally.

I tried, then tried again. Then tried again. If there was a resiliency award, I could win it. But, there I was again…trying to win at something that I was obviously losing myself in. So I began listening to the whispers in my meditations, started analyzing the metaphors in my dreams and evoking love as I emptied room in my heart. As I radically awakened, I drew new boundaries. I started saying no. I requested space. I spoke my truths without apology.

Seven years ago, when my husband and I separated, I reacted out of anger, ego and resentment.  Today, we are consciously acting out of love, honor and respect for the life we’ve built, the children we raised and the sacred contract we fulfilled.

I’ve always believed that if you love someone, you let them go. There’s an ethereal energy that comes with true love and it has nothing to do with taking ownership, establishing control and invading set boundaries. It is not something rationalized in one’s head, but felt deeply in one’s heart.

Due to social programming, religious upbringing and internal pride, I’ve struggled with guilt, shame and especially fear in this seemingly long journey to look at myself and this ongoing crossroad. There is no right or wrong route here, but I know that nothing is lost if the loving energy within a unit stays the same.

Having evolved in the last several years, I can adamantly say, we are no longer staying for the kids, instead, we are separating for the kids. We are writing a new, unique and beautiful chapter for them. They are receiving a happier, stronger and loving version of both of us. They will see him in his sovereign light, me in my own and how brilliantly we all shine together.

Despite the natural struggles in dividing assets, discussing difficult topics and undergoing long-standing annoyances, I was extremely focused on having a conscious uncoupling. I didn’t want to use a lawyer. I believe in communication, even if it made us uncomfortable. Whatever lost, I knew we would individually regain. Every time I battled my ego, I went back to humility and gratitude. Even though it wasn’t always this way – I fantastically believed this would be a respectful compromise, a loving division and a quick legal process.

May 1st coincidentally and officially marks the day of endings and beginnings. I have so much gratitude for his role in my life and mine in his. No one knows what the future holds, for God’s greatest gift is our Free Will.

And so it is.


  • Reply Vicki May 12, 2023 at 1:43 am

    I have watched your journey for many years. The struggles and the triumphs. I have to say that seeing this end of your marriage and the way you are both going about it, is truly inspiring. I hope that this brings you peace and also demonstrates for others that someone you loved so dearly at one time, may no longer be a positive person for your own journey. Remembering the love you once shared and that your children are the best of you both, will hopefully make others realize it doesn’t have to be a war. Jealousy and pain will continue throughout your lives, especially as new loves come into not only your ex spouse’s life, but especially when they become part of your children’s lives. I always had to remember that there was no cap on love. My exes girlfriend was able to be loved by my son and had no impact on his love for me! That required a lot of personal coaching over and over throughout the years!!!

    • Reply Maria Kang May 12, 2023 at 3:29 pm

      Thank you for this comment and for watching my journey. It has definitely been a ride…but that’s what life is about. Ever-evolving, ascending and changing. I am so grateful for that path we shared and will continue to share. There is not love lost here, only a new perspective on how we can better serve each other.

  • Reply Chua Her May 12, 2023 at 3:04 am

    Wow!!!!!! I felt the emotions, gratitude and respect. Kudos on living your truest life. Most people aren’t and don’t have the courage you do.

    • Reply Maria Kang June 16, 2023 at 12:19 pm

      Thank you so much! My mother gave me her courage.

  • Reply John Ehman May 12, 2023 at 6:33 am

    God bless you Maria. You’re absolutely right, life is difficult, and once you realize it’s difficult , it no longer becomes difficult.. it’s like crossing the river. You’re both on one bank, relationship issues cause you to try and cross that river. You take your first steps to cross but continuously run back to the person still standing on the bank. Eventually you get the strength and end up on opposite banks of the river and you move on. Keep life simple. You have an amazing heart and God always has a plan.. John🌺

    • Reply Maria Kang June 16, 2023 at 12:19 pm

      thank you

  • Reply Idalia May 12, 2023 at 2:01 pm

    Who are you listening in your “breathing meditation”? The only meditation we should have is God’s word. Or you are opening to voices not from God. (Demons)
    “For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God;”
    ‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭6‬:‭12‬-‭17‬ ‭
    Be alert. Fight for you FAMILY.

  • Reply Val Dombey May 14, 2023 at 9:25 pm

    Big hugs to you Maria! I too have followed your journey and am rooting for you in this leg of your journey. May it bring you the love and peace you desire and may it lead you towards your truth.

    • Reply Maria Kang June 16, 2023 at 12:19 pm

      Thank you so much

  • Reply Mike Martinez May 27, 2023 at 10:41 am

    I just read this and it is a comfort to me. As I go threw the passing of my wife of 42 years. She was my first girl friend and now she is gone. But I know GOD has a plan for me. And when His plan is at its end he will take me home to be with Elizabeth the love of my soul.. . This brings so much comfort to me as I walk this earth Romans 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

  • Reply Ngozi Chijioke-Agina September 21, 2023 at 4:21 am

    I admire your courage in taking a stand that shifted things. Thank you for sharing your journey with us, Maria. Remain blessed.

    • Reply Maria Kang July 20, 2024 at 2:51 pm

      Thank you for being on this journey with me.

  • Reply Kristy October 30, 2023 at 2:26 am

    I don’t mean this in a bad way, but I am happy for you and this new chapter. I didn’t really like your husband (LOL), but I for sure admire you and your perseverance to make an unworkable situation work the best you could. I’m a long time follower. You are always inspiring to me.

    • Reply Maria Kang July 20, 2024 at 2:52 pm

      Ha, thanks. He’s a very good man if you got to know him!

  • Reply Chip Dip January 28, 2024 at 11:22 pm

    How does anyone get divorced for their children? There is no way that children (even adult children) are better off to come from a broken home. If you want to get a divorce for yourself, then do that. But don’t try to sell it as something that is good for your kids.

    • Reply Maria Kang July 20, 2024 at 2:52 pm

      I obviously disagree a thousand percent with you.

  • Reply Jaguar Aguila June 18, 2024 at 5:56 pm

    Hi Maria,
    I admire your courage and determination in being the best possible version that you are capable of being, and for all that you share to possibly inspire a lot of people to embrace their truth and their personal journey. Unfortunately, very few individuals are looking daily to find their truest self, due to the endless distractions, expectations and specially their endless indulgence either in self-pity and self-hatred, reason why we endlessly wander from one activity to another without ever finding peace or solace. I have been on a similar parallel path of self-discovery and self-acceptance toward self-love. At a very early age I had to learn that the very thing we want the most, to be loved unconditionally, by another person other than a dad or a mom – which was not my personal case either – is the hardest thing to find. And the reason being is that for that to be possible, that person, if you ever find him, would have to love himself unconditionally. And that itself is the hardest thing in the world. As such, the only thing we can aim to do, which is my personal aim, is to love myself unconditionally, even when I, well not I, but my mind, which I don’t think is mine either, would never allow me to do. As such, there is a never-ending fight between our mind, which is always far and away from the truth, and what we really want, which is to be fully accepting of ourselves and as a natural consequence, becoming fully accepting of others and everything, which is also the biggest challenge for any given person. All of your challenges, including those you don’t dare to consciously admit you somehow brought to yourself, are precisely there to bring in the best qualities you already have and may not have been aware of towards achieving self-acceptance and self-love. When we love ourselves, we would have already gained heaven on earth, and not only that, we would also move forward towards our challenges knowing that to be fully alive is to be aware of being in an endless stream of challenges that, if faced straight on, would help us become the spiritual warriors one day everyone must become. Until then, I can tell you from personal experience, you will never be able to change anyone except yourself. You may inspire people; you may guide people but change people? That’s utterly impossible as no one can really change unless they want to change themselves. Our only way when dealing with this scenario is to be fully understanding but never with pity, as being pitiful for people who can’t change would be the worse you can do for them, as you must see them as powerful as anyone can ever be, only if they could know it and realize it. Keep your spirit up for yourself, battle every day for yourself to become someone you would never become were not for those unbearable challenges other people could not date to take because they are not prepared to take them and face them. You, on the other hand, are fully ready. Take them on, you are ready, and you have everything you need with you to face them head on. Just keep moving forward my friend. God bless you, your family and friends.

    • Reply Maria Kang July 20, 2024 at 3:22 pm

      Thank you for this thoughtful comment. Focusing on loving myself versus forcing/desiring another to love me is hard and easy at the same time…but this is the path! I have learned self love to be the biggest lesson since getting diagnosed.I’ve seen how I denied a lot of my wants, betrayed my internal knowing and sacrificed my nature to fit into a box I wasn’t supposed to exist in. This isn’t just above the marriage, it’s everything.

      I believe I am fully ready and that everything in my life, prepared me for this moment in time.

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