March 25, 2021
I started this year getting Covid. I was exposed by an asymptomatic work colleague (who wore a mask). In the weeks that followed, each of my immediate family members also tested positive.
My first initial symptoms were body aches and head tension. I thought it was the cold as I test regularly, and I was negative just a few days prior. I had a low-grade fever one night but was fully functioning after 48hrs. My husband developed a sporadic cough and nausea. Two of my sons showed little to no symptoms – there was perhaps a sneeze or a mild soreness in their throat. One of my sons had a fever, diarrhea and vomiting. But thankfully that lasted for just a day.
A week after my first symptom I completely lost my sense of taste. For weeks I was fighting fatigue and little desire to eat. Since I wasn’t exercising regularly, socializing and dealing with all the potential “what if’s” I was challenged with a lot of sadness, anxiety and some depression.
Fatigue was a long-lasting symptom, especially for someone who was already battling Anemia. I’m not sure when the experience ended for me as I was quickly moving into another hellish world when my mother became sick in mid-Feb.
For weeks I spent hours at the hospital. Alongside my father and sisters, the experience of all the ‘what if’s’ were very traumatic as she underwent critical events while there. I never prayed, cried or bellowed so deeply in my forty years of existence. Terrified and weakened by utter physical and emotional exhaustion – are the only two feelings I remember in the months of February and March.
Which brings me to right now…one quarter into 2021 and already a thousand times stronger than when I left 2020. We opened up our 4th elderly carehome facility recently, Comforts of Home Treasure, and the boys *finally* went back to hybrid school (two days a week) after over a year of distance learning.
Despite the challenges – somehow, I managed to write my gratitude’s multiple times a week. While my workouts and meditations were few and often not as productive, they were getting done. I walked the dog. I cleaned the house. I functioned. Perhaps not my best work or my best effort – but just in completing something, it felt like absolutely everything in my world at the time when I was truly stretched thin.
I’m thankful I had friends to reach out to. I’m thankful I was able to redirect energy positively by successfully marketing my facilities while communicating often with my nonprofit leaders and carehome employees. I am thankful my relationship with my family is stronger and that my husband truly stepped up while I spent long nights away from home. I am thankful my kids do dishes and laundry daily. I am thankful my mother pulled through and we found great caretakers to join our team in helping her get better. Truly. Thankful.
But let me tell you … getting ‘here’ wasn’t easy. I wanted to b*tch about all the things that went wrong. All the stress I felt. All the time I lacked. In my past meditations I knew how powerful energy was and how important it was to control my thoughts, only focus on desired outcomes and show gratitude for dreams manifested. My favorite quote this year so far?
“I believe in miracles.”
I do. I really, really do. I witnessed miracles of the human spirit these past several months. Incredible things CAN happen, if we WILL it to happen and BELIEVE it can happen – especially when our limited senses prevent us from seeing the power of the holy spirit within us.
Faith is believing in the unseen. Today I am grateful for the things I have believed in my heart and have witnessed in this world. God Bless you all.