The nature of love

July 27, 2014

I fell in love with my husband while standing over an ant hill.

On a random fall afternoon, we decided to take a walk through a nature preserve in a small town in Mississippi. It was quiet, peaceful and serene – a far cry from the perennial loudness we experience with our little ones today. It must’ve been just a month into our relationship and I was still infatuated by this charming poet, a divorced father who still believed fervently in love.

He was 31 and I was 27.

We were in a long distance relationship. Every morning I awoke to his text messages and wore my earpiece for hours talking to him while running errands, watching television or cleaning the house. Within weeks into our courtship I knew he was ‘the one’. Oddly enough, I never believed in that type of kismet. I always believed not in fate, but in the power of one’s free will to become whomever they chose in life. 

When I fell in love with him it wasn’t because he picked the perfect flower, wrote the most romantic poem or showered me with gifts and affection. I fell in love with him the day I made a mature choice to journey this life with a man who shared the same values, desires and dreams.

Very often, people believe that love comes first and commitment comes next. I’ve always believed that commitment comes first and love comes next. Afterall, love is measured through passion, passion is developed through trust and trust takes time to foster. You don’t know how much someone loves you until they see you at your darkest, weakest and hardest moments. Commitment will get you started but love and passion will push you through it.

Like any relationship, we have to work at it. Sometimes our marriage feels like “it’s all about him” – and I’m holding down the house, managing my businesses, taking care of the children and practicing soccer while he travels and pursues his passions. Recently, he’s been instrumental in my No Excuse Mom movement – ordering NEM merchandise, shipping them out and being a liaison to all business inquiries. When we share time together, our discussions revolve around our children, work or troubleshooting family issues. I admittedly shut down at times – and he knows when I do – because the last thing I want to do after five meetings and nonstop work is talk about more work, with him.

Last night I signed the kids up for a Parent’s Night out in our gym. We got a full four hours to spend quality time together without kids screaming, phones ringing and endless cleaning dividing our attention. As we sat in a quaint Thai restaurant he began talking about business and I purposely disrupted him to ask about our recent honey harvest from our beehive in our backyard.

His eyes lit up.

He told me about the short life span of a bee and their tragic population decline due to colonies collapsing. He described their challenges with pesticides, mites, moths and commercialization – with many companies feeding them high fructose corn syrup instead of allowing them to gather pollen and nectar from flowers. He taught me about Drones, Queen Bees and the role of worker bees. I was so engaged by his knowledge, in love with his compassion and enamored by his boyish curiosity – it reminded me of that day we were standing above the ant hill, nearly seven years ago – before kids happened, work happened and life happened….and he was talking about the nature of ants.

I knew little about him besides his youth in Hawaii, his decorated time in the Marines, his work in Iraq and preceding injury from a car bomb. I knew he was a deep thinker, a man who was beyond ego – and despite his failures in love, he still believed in it.

And despite my failures in love, I still believed.

Our union was created from a belief – and we exist today because of that faith. It’s not easy to choose love daily, when you want to choose resentment, anger or annoyance. I admittedly have chosen all of those in our past altercations, but at the end of my lifetime, I’m glad I chose him.

I love you David.

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One of our fun engagement photos by Eye Connoisseur

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I took this picture of him in the backyard while doing dishes! David is such a hoot!

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Walking through the nature preserve nearly 7 years ago….this is one of my first pics of him.

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So enamored!

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Check out our honey harvest! 50lbs from our backyard!

19 Comments

  • Reply Guest with someone on their lives July 27, 2014 at 6:37 pm

    It is a shame that “guest” was dumped/is alone/has no one/lives with 5 cats or whatever happened to make them read the above post and take a dump all over it. Your not “jealous” or a “hater”, just a plain old fashioned asshole.

    • Reply guest July 28, 2014 at 5:22 pm

      Ouch!! That hurts!! I guess what I said really hit home with you and that’s what is making you so angry. I hate to tell you this, but all you poor uneducated souls are proving my point. It’s quite sad that none of you can see she is BS’ing you !! She wants people to worship her, so she tells people what they want to hear and you fools believe it. She also contradicts herself constantly, but you have such low IQ’s none of you can see that. It’s quite sad!

    • Reply guest July 28, 2014 at 5:27 pm

      I am an asshole and damn proud of it. I see the truth and that makes me one. At least I’m not a fake, dumbass like you!! Keep being a fool!!

      • Reply Damian August 6, 2014 at 4:55 am

        Seeing the truth and being an asshole are mutually exclusive.

      • Reply Ariel September 17, 2014 at 2:00 am

        “guest,” it’s hilarious that you talk about not being fake when you don’t even leave your name. But you keep on feeling like you’re impressive because you can talk big on the internet.

  • Reply Araceli July 27, 2014 at 7:08 pm

    Except that she even states here that they have to work at it. Like most good things in life, you have to work hard to succeed. And that’s what they do. No they’re not perfect, but they do support each other and they’re good people. Some of the few remaining obviously.

    • Reply guest July 28, 2014 at 5:25 pm

      How do you know they are good people? It’s because, you believe everything she shows you. Look, you just can’t argue with stupid, so I’m not going to do it any longer. I think you people would follow Jim Jones if he were still alive.

  • Reply Nita July 28, 2014 at 5:09 pm

    I liked this post for the “real” feelings Maria expressed. It doesn’t get more real than WORK and MK seems to give her all in everything she does. Whether it’s how you look, how you feel or working to appreciate your spouse, it’s a constant effort to enjoy and appreciate what you have – a lot of people forget that. And I love how she remembers to acknowledge her husband’s simple family/life accomplishments too…like with the honey harvest. I don’t think she sugar coats anything at ALL – on the contrary, she lays out the obstacles she deals with every day. My husband is older than me by 10 years, a very accomplished lawyer and gets lots of recognition in business. But he absolutely beams with pride when I show off photos of our vegetable garden. You see, the garden was his creation for our FAMILY and those accomplishments are the most special. I usually have a big crush on him and think he’s awesome. But I have my days when I’m annoyed with my husband, but I always have to remind myself that I have it REALLY great. Maybe that positive message was lost on GUEST.

  • Reply girlygirl July 28, 2014 at 10:51 pm

    Awee what a great article. So sweet
    But I’m still annoyed with MK. She doesn’t look all that great for 3 kids. I know women with 6 kids that look way better but they’re taking care of their kids. .not showing off their body and making money. But hey its her life; )

    • Reply josh July 29, 2014 at 12:36 am

      That’s because people who are really great don’t have to shout it from the rooftops. They are secure with themselves and just live their lives. When you are insecure you have to constantly talk about yourself and you need for people to pat you on the back for EVERYTHING!

  • Reply Gordon July 28, 2014 at 11:20 pm

    Well Skippy I possess something that you do not, FACTS. I have known Maria and David for three years now and she is correct in every aspect that she penned. You on the other hand guess at what is fact and what is fiction while trolling FaceBook for your jolly’s. Would love to clean you out playing poker. But I will let you get back to living with your parents in their basement while you tend to your 20 cats and 2 goldfish…..oh wait, am I guessing there? Time to admit you were wrong Skippy!

  • Reply Carolyn July 29, 2014 at 12:04 am

    Wow, you read the blog and all you got out of it was they must be fake. How sad. I know both Maria and David personally and they are anything but fake. Oh yeah, looking at another beautiful picture of Maria in a bikini can be tiresome, and the couples picture are overly sweet, but they are friggin geniune. They are really as they are portrayed. Are they perfect, God know and if you have read any of Maria’s blogs, you would know this. they have faced their shares of hardships and challenges but when those happen they are truely there for each other, not engaged in a constate one upmanship or finger pointing some couples go through when things are going bad. Are their boys perfect? God, no! Don’t get me wrong they are great boys but there are three of them and they are under 8 yrs old, life is to say the very least, an adventure. Bruises and all, they have put themselves out there to help others find what they have, health, happiness, love and mos importantly a marriage where two people really love each other through it all. If that is fake, give me fake all day long. How do I know? Because I am also in a marriage where my best friend is my spouse. It is a challenge at times but most of the time it is amazing and I thing that’s what Maria wishes for all who follow her blog, is that you don’t settle for half measures in any part of your life, your faith, your family, your health, your fitness or your marriage. Godd for your Maria and David, setting the bar high challangbes us all to want more and to get it. Really? Fake? Sounds like someone needs a hug or at the very least a kick in the ass.

  • Reply Damian August 6, 2014 at 4:51 am

    Mrs. King, I respect your dedication and willpower, and agree strongly with your “no excuse” slogan. If you read this post, I hope you understand I mean no malice, but only a cautionary word: Love is not passion. Love is patience, kindness, humility, forgiveness, understanding and so very much more. It is there in that moment when you’re experiencing feelings of frustration or anger at your spouse for some inane reason, and you choose to show understanding and patience. When he/she is ill and you show kindness. When he/she hurts you and you show forgiveness.

    Passion does indeed burn bright. But it also burns out. Love is forever.

  • Reply Susan January 29, 2015 at 1:03 am

    I’m just here to masturbate to pictures of her husband.

  • Reply Lynda October 22, 2015 at 4:07 am

    This post was perfect 🙂 thank you #blessed #believe in #love #happiness #faith

    • Reply Maria Kang October 29, 2015 at 5:29 pm

      Thank you Lynda!

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