Maria Kang

4 words I will Never Use.

by Maria Kang on November 25, 2013

haters

There are certain terms I rarely use in my vocabulary that has been used a lot lately via comments on my Facebook page and website. While I am often portrayed as uncompassionate by viewers, personal friends and family members know I am highly sensitive and very direct.  I don’t view life with negative lenses, I see how people react as a reflection in how they see themselves or what they are intimately experiencing in their own life. Since my influence has expanded I want to make certain messages clear. So here are popular words I would like to stop being associated with:

Hater:  I’ve always disliked that term. Not everyone agrees with your thoughts and beliefs and just because theirs is different does not mean they are a ‘hater’. They are just in disagreement – and just because they disagree does not mean they are opposite from the message (i.e. if one disagrees with my message doesn’t they are fat). I enjoy opposing dialogue because I do learn a great deal from people who maturely debate. When you start to name call or insult, you lack tact and lose the ability to influence the receiver because you created a boundary.

Jealousy: I’m very used to this term because as some know, I was bullied in high school. The second week of Freshman year a group of girls I didn’t know threw orange juice at me at the cafeteria (soaking my clothes and hair). I would continue to receive threats and engage in physical fights with girls I didn’t know. I often cried as a teenager and while I was a ‘pretty cheerleader’ in high school, it was my first experience being bullied by masses even though I was outwardly considered ‘having the upper hand’. Many people told me my offenders were jealous, but I disagreed as I disliked that term because there was no root to that noun.  When I started reading psychology books in the library during lunch (to hide from those who threatened me) I decided that it wasn’t jealousy that caused a negative reaction to me – but insecurity. In high school and in life, people have insecurities (I have them too) and they are intensified when someone has what you feel you lack. It is often said that “comparison is the thief of joy”, for it robs people from seeing their value and personal progress.  So I don’t think people are jealous of me – or jealous of others – I think people don’t value what they have, which breeds insecurity.

Lazy:  I have never said anyone is lazy. I definitely think people get caught up with life, choose the easier routes of sitting and watching The X Factor, rather than working out, but I wouldn’t define that as lazy. I think people are unmotivated. People lack a desire to change, most often because they are in a comfortable environment with comfortable people and comfortable life goals that promote complacency. I see incredible physical transformations when people are motivated by a wedding day, a high school reunion or a beach vacation. I see people deciding to eat a grilled chicken sandwich versus a fried chicken nuggets because they are part of a 12-week transformation contest at work. I strongly feel people are not lazy, people are just not motivated.

Shame: Fat-shaming, fit-shaming or being ashamed…whatever you want to call it, I don’t like saying it. No one should ever feel ashamed for who they are. You can’t create a positive future built on the foundation of shame. The problem I see is we are shifting to a society that accepts being overweight/obese as the norm. When being unhealthy is normalized, it makes people complacent to change. There is a fine line when you say something is ‘unacceptable’ versus being ‘shameful’. I believe that we should not shame those who are challenged with their weight but instead support them and understand where their struggle stems from.

With that said, I hope we can start removing these words from this dialogue I’ve been having regarding fitness in America. It is a not ‘you against me’ conversation. We are truly one in trying to build a healthier community and a healthier nation. We can’t positively promote change if we continue to use these negative words in our conversations.

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{ 74 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Onelly January 29, 2014 at 9:43 pm

I bet that if Maria Kang wasn’t as pretty, there would’nt be as many negative comments about her. I think a lot of people dwell on vanity and get sucked into this imaginary, shallow world of beauty. Beauty is within you and be proud of that. If you want to be healthy and be fit, go ahead. Don’t belittle someone for doing so. If you’re happy with your weight and with yourself then give support! Because in essence that is exactly what Maria is doing; she’s providing support because she has come to a point in life where she feels good and is able to radiate positivity and motivation for those people who need it. THAT’S IT! In reality everyone gives an excuse for not doing something, whether it be cancelling an appointment, not visiting the in-laws, not doing laundry today, etc, there’s always an excuse, or a form of procrastination for not doing something. If the words ‘what’s your excuse’ resonate so negatively within you, then you should ask yourself why. Why do these words sruck a chord, why do these words get me so angry, upset, etc?? Only then will you find the truth and it can really set you on a much better path to self discovery.

Why is it so wrong for someone to publicly go out there and motivate others to get in shape?

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2 Onelly January 29, 2014 at 9:06 pm

I think the point Maria Kang is trying to make here, it’s OK to take the time to be selfish for YOU because in reality health is our ONLY connection to life. Is it really selfish to take a few minutes out the day and focus on YOU? It may sound impossible with everything that is going on in life, but I can guarantee that if you truly want to change for the better, you WILL find time! You have to want it! Change occurs in baby steps. If you want to eat healthier all it takes is changing your diet and mindset. Why bash on someone because they chose to make certain decisions to make themselves happy? Does this make them less of a mother, a person, a daughter, an employee? Really? NO it does not! If anything it makes them a strong, willed person to take that opprotunity and change for the better. And why blame others if they are able to find that time and workout and choose to be healhty? Doesn’t make sense to speak so negative of one’s goals ans set mission. If anything it brings out more of one’s insecurities. The time it took to write a negative comment on Maria Kang could’ve been taken to do something MORE PRODUCTIVE like take a walk, read a chapter of your favorite book, listen to a song that makes you happy, PIN something, make a healthy grocery list, eat an apple, meditate!!!! EVERYONE has issues and problems and that SHOULDN’t be an excuse not to be healthy!!! We should do what’s right for our bodies, mentally and physically to live the best life we can! Maria isn’t demanding that we forget about everything and put exercise #1 in our lives, but to make ourselfs a priority here and then; in between taking the kids to soccer practice, in between the cooking and the cleaning and taking care of the parents, and paying our bills, Let’s not forget about US! In At first, every challenge seems impossible, but then you begin to dissect your options, become comfortable with your decision, do your research, then take baby steps and notice that ‘hey this isn’t as bad as i thought’. Anything and everything is possible, it’s only our imagination and insecurities that stops you from living the life you really desire. There are people in this world who have lost their limbs and guess what?! You can find inspiration in the Parapeligic Olympians! Give me a break. The fact that one has to list all of their issues is an excuse in itself. The only person stopping you from fulfilling your own dreams is YOU! Stop being negative and bashing people who are living their life and start LIVING yours!!! It’s sad to see women who succeed and provide this positive outlet for others and of course you have the negative people who ALWAYS have something to say!!! And i bet those are the ones MOST scared to try anything and would rather sulk in misery and negativity.
For those who are so angry about Maria’s statement, take a breath and try it out yourself. Is it going to kill you to put aside 10 minutes FOR YOURSELF to relax? to read? to do whatever it is YOU always wanted to do?! Absolutely NOT!! As I said before, anything you put your mind to is possible. If you speak and think negative, you will live a negative life. if you think positive you will live a positive life. There are setbacks in life, we get it, we know that, everyone has experienced his or her share, but the strong ones are those who overcome these setbacks and don’t dwell on the negativity but appreciate how strong they have become because of this experience.

Loria – thank you for your post!!! It’s exactly the point i’m trying to make!!
If you’re going to take the time to post something negative use that time to do something positive!!!! GO WORKOUT! NO EXCUSES!!!!

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3 Gina January 19, 2014 at 1:08 am

My excuse is, go screw yourself. You don’t like haters, you were bullied as a teenager (even though you were a “pretty cheerleader” – you poor, poor thing!) Why don’t you point that accusatory finger at yourself? Your post is nothing more than a TAUNT, lady, as bad as the bullies you claim hurt you in high school. You’re proud of yourself for being DIRECT – so direct that you have no problem at all throwing your “perfect” weight-lifter body into the faces of the 75%+ of us who are far from “perfect”, who are not lucky enough to be “entrepreneurs” and are, instead, 50+ hour per week accountants like myself, with children, PTA, service to others on our plate, all of which we UNSELFISHLY put before ourselves, and you have the BALLS to ask us what our excuse is???? How’s this – my father is dying, I need the OT to pay for my son’s middle-of-the-road public college tuition, my mother is elderly, gets dizzy easily and is night-blind AND I go to church every Sunday to thank The Lord for what I have – not grouse and whine because I don’t have an extra 2 hours every day (don’t even THINK of denying it) to make ourselves perfect in the eyes of a woman-hating society, which YOU are obviously a member of. Be proud of yourself, you look fabulous. But be ASHAMED of yourself for taunting other women who prioritize the gym further down the list from #1, #2 and #3. If you think you inspired ANYONE with YOUR HATRED (that’s what it is, my dear, HATRED of your fellow sisters) think again. Those of us whose self-esteem is not dependent on our outward appearance know better than to drink your Kool-Aid. I pray you never have to know a REAL life, where starting your own business and going to the gym take a major backseat to your family and their REAL NEEDS – like a PROVIDER, not just a “hot mom” – I pray for you because you obviously could not stand it. Keep on doing what you’re doing, honey, you are proving the point of, women are their own enemy. Good luck to you in the world, karma is the biggest of all bitches.

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4 Drew January 20, 2014 at 5:29 pm

Ai ya Gina, I really feel sorry for everything you are going through. It’s very tough to have all of these life problems. If I had all of those things going on, I would be very depressed and maybe a bit unnerved. I would really look inside first and maybe see where the root of the aggression is coming from. Good luck to you.

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5 Loria January 22, 2014 at 9:31 pm

Oh, Gina. I’m very sorry that you’re dealing with a lot right now but was your post necessary? The time you took to type out such a hateful response you could have fit a small workout into your busy schedule. How can you talk about church and praying while saying things like “Go, screw yourself.” and “karma is the biggest of all bitches.” Maria is not about being skinny or looking perfect. Maria motivates and inspires busy mothers from all walks of life, I’m proud to be a No Excuse Mom. I embrace it every single day. I hope you find happiness soon, it seems like you’re holding a lot of anger.

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6 Stella January 29, 2014 at 6:12 am

You nailed it, Loria. I don’t get why people come on here and lay out their entire life stories as if they personally were called out somehow? Very bizarre. So angry. I don’t get it. Also if you’re so religious and believe in karma you shouldn’t speak about others in such a rude way.

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7 Onelly January 29, 2014 at 9:24 pm

You’ve just spent a few minutes ranting when you could’ve easily done a lap or two. seriously??? EVERYONE HAS PROBLEMS and bills and all sorts of craziness, and MANY STILL MANAGE TO WORKOUT AND BE HEALTHY!!!!!!!

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8 Caren January 6, 2014 at 4:43 pm

What you have accomplished after 3 children is awesome! I just had baby #3, and you totally motivate me to get into shape. I think it’s so important to live a healthy lifestyle–for me and for my kids! I need to set the example for them now, so they will know how to make healthy choices for their futures :)

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9 Carmen Silva January 4, 2014 at 7:58 am

Congratulations on an excellent interview! Please know there are many more people that support you than people opposing the truth. It’s time to accept our responsibility and seek a healthier nation. This starts at our own dinner table.

Great job!

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10 Joose December 21, 2013 at 12:49 am

We like short legs in Finland and otherwise well founded persons. Just my male opinion in this heated discussion. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

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11 Stella January 29, 2014 at 6:14 am

You mean a tree stump with legs?

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12 Jane December 20, 2013 at 4:39 pm

Oh my Lord have mercy! You folks are way out of control. This is ridiculous. This lady is proud of her physical and healthy accomplishments. She wrote a short phrase on her photo reflecting that. Big Whoopy! Whether it’s intention was to encourage or inspire is not even the point! It’s her photo, it’s her thoughts, it’s her life. Folks attacked not wanting to be judged, but in essence they themselves were judging! She has the ‘right’ to be or say or think whatever she dang well pleases. How ‘others’ feel about what they read or see online is their problem. Plain and simple.
Those of you that took offense are the types that just look for someone to blame about your own self image. Or to attack if there is an opposing idea in your own attempts to justify the lifestyle you have chosen, and/or saddled with (genetics or circumstances).
I loved her statement “The first step in owning your life, your body and your destiny is to OWN the thoughts that come out of your own head. I didn’t create them. You created them.”. I felt her apology was well thought and well written. Because she really had nothing she should be sorry for.
Her words put me in mind of Wayne Dyer’s teaching on how people do not hurt us. The way we receive people is the manner in which we hurt ourselves. Another quote I like is.. “Never expect people to be who YOU need or want them to be”. Yet another popular thought is like the quote “you are what you eat”, it’s.. “you are what you think”. The public’s reaction to her photo says more about the public than it does about her.
In the end, we all have the ‘right’ to either accept who we are, or to work at changing who we are. We have the right to be obese and be fine or even proud of it. And fit folks have the right to be fit or even proud of it and.. they have the right to try and encourage or ‘motivate’ others. Most fit people I know are all about encouragement! I see lots of pics like this on their facebook accounts but for some reason they’re not being chastised? Why is that? That’s the real question those that oppose this lady should ask themselves.
If a person feels bad that they’re not living up to their own comparison with anothers’ life or fitness level or what the heck ever… don’t blame or attack ‘them’. These are ‘your’ feelings and/or reactions. YOU must deal with them. As she stated.. YOU must ‘own’ those thoughts as your own. And maybe even examine these reactions as coming from something deep within you that for whatever reason.. she rubbed the wrong way. Why? Ask yourself why? Do some soul searching. Just as you want to live your way, isn’t she allowed her rights to live her way?
I am obese. As she stated, I have NO motivation to do a darn thing about it. It’s more trouble than it’s worth in my opinion. But that’s me. My choice, my life. My excuse? I just don’t care! lol Been there done that it’s too much work!! lol I can be me, be obese… and yet not begrudge another that does care enough to work at it. Why can’t others do that? My personal opinion? Because they haven’t come to the acceptance and contentment with who they ‘choose’ to be (or not to be). These people can say they’re okay with themselves till they’re blue in the face. The fact remains that if they truly were.. few people would know this ladys name!! Because no one would have made such a stink about it. These folks still have some part of them that ‘wants’ to be like her. But lack the motivation or mindset or whatever blah blah blah…to do it. And thus envy, wishing etc etc.. turns to anger. Not as much at her, but at themselves. She’s just the punching bag to take out their frustrations. Bless her heart.
People, be who you want to be. And, let others be who they want to be. Live and let live and get over yourselves.

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13 Melissa December 16, 2013 at 8:30 pm

I found Maria’s posts inspiring. I am 19st and 5’9. I am fat. I know I am fat because I over eat and comfort eat etc. No where does she shame anyone. If not for her emotive phrasing would you have clicked the image? Would you have gone as far as going to her website etc

You can lie to yourself all you want but do not make someone else feel bad just because they are sharing their own success. Make your own success, make yourself happy and do not blame others. Yes it not easy but its in your own hands, it up to you.

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14 Nadia December 7, 2013 at 8:57 pm

It’s ironic that Maria wrote about ‘Haters’ and yet there are so many commenting. I don’t get what all the fuss is about. How is it negative? How is it wrong to voice her own opinions? Aren’t we brought up to speak our mind? I find it frustrating that a lot of people view her negatively. I first found out about Maria through my sister-in-law when she shared “What’s Your Excuse” picture on facebook and my reaction was “Wow, I wanna be like her.” She’s a mother of three and looks fab, I’m a student and well, I would like to look and be fit and healthy like her. It’s not easy juggling 3 children and work(Experience through my mother as she is a single mom and my sister-in-law with two kids). Yes, I may be too young to truly understand that struggle but I can imagine how hard it would be to juggle work and home AND face all the negativity DAILY.

Thank you Maria for being another person I can put on my list of people I look up to.

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15 Nancy December 5, 2013 at 3:51 pm

I am a registered nurse and I work in the field of bariatric medicine. Obesity is a huge problem in this country. I ask those of you who think Maria is judging you or people that don’t look like her to ask yourself one question. Are you really doing everything you can to live a healthier life? Im not asking you if you are doing everything you can to look like Maria but doing everything you can to live healthier. Some say you don’t have to look like Maria to be healthy, and you dont but I can assure you that being overweight is one of the leading causes of Diabetes, high blood pressure and a multitude of other disease processes. I agree everyone is genetically different and by no means is every women going to look like Maria nor should they. The fact is so many are just fool of excuses as to why they cant live healthy. Im to busy, I have 3 kids, I work, My kids play sports etc etc. I hear them all day long. I believe Marias message is not that you should look like her but that you can find the time to live a healthier life. Which includes making better/healthier food choices, getting some type of physical activity a minimum of 3 to 4 days a week, avoid fast food.. If you are honestly doing all you can than you are living a healthier life. However, I ask you again to ask yourself are you really doing everything possible to live healthier??

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16 Alex December 8, 2013 at 5:37 am

I agree!

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17 Dev December 8, 2013 at 7:32 pm

Simple question, yet powerful. I agree!

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18 missy December 5, 2013 at 12:21 pm

Tau…really? I don’t know what I am.talking about? I have three teenagers have been working out daily fie years am 5’4″ and 118 lbs.

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19 Ma December 30, 2013 at 6:26 pm

Missy, you’re hilarious… 5’4 and 118 lbs? Sounds like you may have a “fitness” disorder. I believe you weigh less than Maria…just saying! There’s no need to be a hypocrite. Be happy to be alive, well and healthy!!!

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20 Nikka Hauser December 5, 2013 at 7:31 am

You need to take a psychology class and a lesson in public speaking. Helping people may be your desire but you’re not very good at it. If you change your approach and offer tips you’ve used for establishing and maintaining a healthy lifestyle instead of assuming it’s your right to chastise people for their choices, you’d make a way more of a positive impact. No one likes to have another less than perfect person tell them what’s wrong with themselves. It’s not right. All these people supporting your approach can do so at their leisure but they are not helping you by telling you what you want to hear. It’s very offensive and ugly to use personal triumphs as a means of brow beating people whether you mean too or not. If your goal is to be taken seriously and attain fame and fortune by helping people, then you need to reassess your approach. Otherwise, keep your opinions about perfect strangers to yourself. You may have all the best intentions in the world but when you give more consideration to your unsolicited opinion and less to how adverse an effect that opinion has on the majority, you are doomed to fail. I’m actually getting sick of seeing reports about your views. I don’t know you and you don’t know me. There’s a reason why the universe has never introduced us. And after everything I’ve read concerning the insensitive things you have said about perfect strangers, I can see why. You have three beautiful children. Spend more time training them to be good citizens and less time telling people who didn’t ask for your opinion what to do.

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21 missy December 5, 2013 at 12:23 pm

What she needs to learn is that perfection is not be all end all and that is all she knows. I hope and pray she is not instilling that in her kids

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22 Marissa Miller December 19, 2013 at 9:16 am

How would you know how much time she spends with her kids and what she teaches them? ENVY: One of the 7 deadly sins.

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23 Gina January 19, 2014 at 1:19 am

Thank you, Nikki. You brought up a point that I had forgotten. I feel sorry for this woman’s 3 adorable children. They will obviously grow up in a household where beauty is currency. The more you have, the more you’re worth. God forbid one of them doesn’t have mom’s genes and encounters the same struggles most of us do. He/she will be asked what his/her “excuse” is. And I’m pretty sure “I’m not as “lucky” as you feel you are.” will not be accepted.

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24 ME December 5, 2013 at 4:44 am

You might not use the word hate, but I do, because it expresses exactly what I feel for women like you. Women who are genetically gifted and use that gift to instill shame on others. You are LUCKY, that’s it, LUCKY that you were born with a predisposition to not gain that much weight and to lose weight fast. I truly hope that your luck does not run out, because I know that if you ever gain an ounce of weight, you will not survive. If you gain even one ounce of weight you will be depressed and life as you know it will be over. For the sake of your mental well being, I truly hope your LUCK does not run out!

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25 Tau December 5, 2013 at 6:55 am

Dear ME

You have abviously NOT read Maria’s bio. If you have, you would have noticed that she is NOT genetically gifted, but in actual fact she is genetically susceptible to being overweight an she struggles with being larger on the bottom.

Because you fail to actually read what Maria writes, you jump straight in with your judgemental comments.

But if hating someone else, for looking good and feeling great, makes you feel better about yourself, then by all means hate along.

.

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26 Alex December 8, 2013 at 5:39 am

Dear ME,

Have you thought about getting mental help? Because it seems like you hate yourself!

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27 Marissa Miller December 19, 2013 at 9:21 am

ME…. it is obvious that YOU are the hateful one. You are clearly unstable and I do feel sad for you. I hope you find the joy you seek and find it in ways that don’t include bashing others’ accomplishments.

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28 Onelly January 29, 2014 at 9:20 pm

ME- Have you ever worked out? It’s sooooo freaking hard and you know what? It takes determination, motivation and consistentsy!!! But it feels damn good knowing that your working yourself to a healthier you! If you hate those people who you find to be ‘lucky’ because they have abs or muscles then you seriously have insecurity issues!!! Live a day in Maria’s shoes or anyone else who has fitness as a priority and i’m sure you’ll take your words back. If you want to have abs and muscles, and FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF who’s stopping you? ANYONE can have a great body for themselves!!! You have to work at it!!! There’s nothing more to it! There’s no LUCK involved. It’s getting yourself off the internet, off the couch and onto the mat or a treadmill!!! Start slowly, walk around the block or the park for ten minutes. Substitue soda for water, chips for an apple, but START!! I give props to those fitness gurus because it’s no joke!!!

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29 Wendy Youngblood December 4, 2013 at 10:35 pm

When I weighed 206 pounds and people called me fat, I was offended. Guess what? I was fat! I started eating sensibly and exercising at 3-5 days a week for 45 minutes and got down to 150 and stayed within 5 pounds of that for 11 years. It is doable. I am 5 ft 9 so I don’t need to weigh less than 150. Not everyone who is into fitness weighs 100 pounds. It is about health not skinniness.

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30 missy December 4, 2013 at 5:46 pm

What you are doing is not inspiring it is making women feel bad about themselves for not fitting your mold that you have set. One other thing, I am not convinced you are over your disorder. You, in my opinion, traded food for “fitness’

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31 Tau December 5, 2013 at 6:43 am

Dear Missy

Your statement goes to show how extremely little you know about the science of eating healthy and exercising. Now you critisise someone who actually knows a whole lot about it, just because you don’t.

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32 jennifer Anne December 7, 2013 at 6:32 pm

so do you feel good about the statement you wrote? tick for tack

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33 Kati December 12, 2013 at 8:35 pm

jennifer Anne: It’s “tit for tat”, not “tick for tack”.

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34 leave me bee December 13, 2013 at 2:46 am

Kati,
I REALLY DONT CARE WHAT YOU WANT TO CORRECT WITH ME. IF I WANT TO SAY TICK (MEANING A SMALL BUG LEECHED ON A DOGS SKIN) OR A TACK (MEANING THE SUFFICX BEFORE AT TACK) THEN I CAN THINK IT, FEEL IT , TYPE IT , SAY IT DO ANYTHING I WANT WITH MY WORDS ….AND YOUR IN 4TH PERSON MODE ANYWHOOT. NOW LEAVE ME BEE. I KILL MORE FLYS WITH HONEY ANYWAYS. BYE BYE FLUSH!!!!!!

35 lybruc December 3, 2013 at 11:00 pm

Call it like it is.The truth hurts but unless it is told, nothing will change.If you are fat and out of shape you are.Unless an individual can admit that they have a problem,that problem cannot be solved.Majority of those women are nothing near the definition of curvy.They are OBESSE and need to take better care of themselves.

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36 Abby December 3, 2013 at 3:14 am

I’m also a mother and take my health and body seriously. I welcome your posts. Don’t stop what you’re doing. Yes, people got offended and misunderstood you. We’ve all been misunderstood in one time or another. Just do what you do!

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37 Abby December 3, 2013 at 2:55 am

Hi Maria,

I think you look awesome! Keep your head up and do what you do:-)

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38 Sammie December 1, 2013 at 4:51 pm

Thank you Maria, for this post. I really appreciate both your view on jealousy vs. insecurity and your view on shame. I am one of those people that bounces back and forth from complacency and shame. I don’t really know how to change without shaming yourself but your explanation of viewing something as being unacceptable, without being ashamed of who you are, was incredibly helpful. Thank you!

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39 Annette Ward November 30, 2013 at 3:15 pm

Maria, I applaud you for telling your story and for being a healthy role model to your family and the rest of the country. Please do not let the few change this, we need to confront the (pardon my analogy ) elephant in the room and have a healthy discussion on the fact that today the percentage of children and young adults that are overweight and/or obese is at an all time high. I think parents need to be good role models and if not then these children need to be able to look to some that is. I was a competitive gymnast growing up and have always tried to stay active and have past this on to my children who are now grown fit young men. So yes it does make a difference. We need to get up off that couch not matter how hard it is some days and get active. Keep up the good fight and don’t let the liberal media bully you.

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40 julie November 30, 2013 at 2:25 pm

I got to tell you that first of all, you look awesome. Its understanding that being a mother, is a job that you barely have time to take a bathroom break, and the easiest thing just to sit down and watch an episode of funny tv or a movie.. YOU ARE INSPIRATIONAL, and NO ONE SHOULD HAVE ANY EXCUSE OF NOT TRYING TO BE a healthier person. PLEASE KEEP POSTING whatever you are doing, and I know lots of people are looking forward to all your posting> THANK YOU>>

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41 Darnay Harris November 30, 2013 at 12:53 pm

Hi Maria,
I just want to encourage you to keep doing a great job, in keeping fit and healthy. I am a African American woman, and mother myself, I’m currently getting in shape too, it’s not easy, but it’s achievable through hard work. I think people should be more inspired by you, than be so critical of you. If you were a “male trainer” asking the question what’s your excuse for not losing weight, there would be no backlash toward him, so there should not have been any criticism toward you. You are setting a good example for other moms who need to get in shape, and you are being a good role model for your children to live a healthier lifestyle, which is what we should all be striving for. So to that I say BRAVO to you, and don’t let the critics get you down.

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42 Vaughn Richardson November 29, 2013 at 10:10 pm

keep doing what you are doing. You are only exposing the worst in people to show themselves. But mostly you are a wonderful role model for women everywhere. Even for me and I am a guy. I am with you 100%.

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43 BMI32 November 28, 2013 at 1:56 pm

Hey Maria. I just wanted to say I found the original picture off putting. I felt shame and jealousy and felt like this was the intention of the photo. However, listening to you speak in interviews, reading your blog I find you very inspiring. I think the photo and it’s caption doesn’t do you and your cause justice. It’s a quick flash that people can project their own struggles and victimization onto. Would the response have been better if it was captioned something else? Probably. I know I’ve thought about it and I’ve thought of some captions that I personally would have found inspiring like “Fight for you, fight for them: you can do it!” but just like you said in an interview, people who are seriously injured by body and mother shaming would see that and still hear a bad message. Anyway, I just wanted to say: I like you, I’m inspired by you and I’m going to keep fighting for my health and my family. I’ve lost 12 lbs already and I’ve been lifting and I can tell I’m getting stronger. Thanks for being an inspiration.

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44 Tiff November 27, 2013 at 4:16 pm

Fat is an option… You don’t think so? Watch the biggest loser! They don’t have excuses… They are held accountable and they LOSE WEIGHT!!! Us “precious Kang supporters” understand it’s hard… But instead of telling Marie how horrible she is for voicing it… We support her. Some of us were fat! 100-220lbs over weight… Obese. People like her are the reason people like that are thin now! So stop bitching at her for telling it like it is, get off the freaking internet and go to the damn gym. Download my fitness pal, track your food intake, hit the gym daily… And lose the freaking weight! Then I guarantee you’ll be one of her supporters too

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45 fatbitch November 27, 2013 at 9:38 am

If you were bullied, why do you bully other people? Or is it just a sad sobbing story so others will feel sorry for you? Yeah, maybe they should have bullied you a bit more.

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46 Molly November 27, 2013 at 7:08 pm

How can you ever want that for somone? She is beeing direct and honest, but i just cant see how that is bullying.

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47 AJ November 29, 2013 at 7:51 pm

So…. it’s OK for you to come on here and talk to someone like that but it’s not OK for her to express a personal/professional opinion? Your comment is like smacking a kid in the face for hitting another kid: ignorant and hypocritical.

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48 Brooke November 30, 2013 at 5:22 am

Prove she’s a bully. And even if she was (which she isn’t) how does that make bullying okay? You obviously don’t like bullies yet you find it okay to bully bullies. Realize that those who are the most unlovable need love the most…

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49 Aby November 30, 2013 at 6:21 am

fatbitch you’re just being rude.

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50 Ms. Kang is a Hero! November 30, 2013 at 5:27 pm

Grow up, and stop being insecure. Ms. Kang is not a bully. You’re your own worst bully, and you present yourself in a very ignorant light by validating and promoting violence. What a fool.

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51 Tallaney November 30, 2013 at 8:10 pm

Why did you call yourself a fat bitch? Is that what the bullies used to call you? I feel bad for you. I’ve been called fat, but I would never call myself a fat bitch. People can be really mean. You shouldn’t say that about yourself. You should love who you are and take better care of yourself. Hope you feel better.

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52 Kristine Hamberg November 27, 2013 at 8:04 am

Seriously I need to not read the comments on your face book page. I get so disheartened from both your attackers AND your defenders. Being an obese woman is not as simple as some of your dear defenders make it out to be. And I know you get this. Not once, from anything that you have personally posted, have I ever felt anything less than totally capable of accomplishing my goals and dreams of becoming healthy. Since finding the ground shaking inspiration of your “what’s your excuse”, I can’t thank you enough for sharing Eli Sapharti’s page. His approach about taking it one day at a time fits me well. Since finding you I’ve done a lot of other research as well, and found I need to see a therapist as soon as I can to be sure I do not cause myself further harm with eating disorder. I have always been binge/restrict. I didn’t even know this was a kind of eating disorder, I always punished myself in a very cruel manner for not having “control”. I need to understand this better, and without your words, I would have never begun the ultimate journey to get my health back. Because of you, I’m no longer making the excuse that I am not worthy of loving myself. You have truly inspired this 40 year old woman without children. I am going to continue to read your inspiring words. You’re an amazing woman.

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53 ithoughtweweregettingbetterwtf? December 2, 2013 at 5:50 pm

you ARE SO FUCKING CONFUSING …. i read your lines and thought wow someone whom gets it then you totally paralized my mind from the last 4 sentences. Your getting help why listen to a fitness freak who can’t control her own peace of mind instead on targeting white women to feed her unsatisfied soul. Whatever! We meaning you and I need to help each other not waste our time on going awwww look at Maria. Her kind makes me barf!

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54 Tau December 5, 2013 at 8:18 am

Dear ithoughtweweregettingbetterwtf?

Do you feel better about yourself, now that you have left the comment you did???

.

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55 jennifer Anne December 7, 2013 at 6:31 pm

yes. I do. do you? works both ways huh?

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56 Chanel November 27, 2013 at 5:40 am

You were never fat Maria. Nope. 150 is not fat, or over weight. Whoever made you believe that is a horrible person. And you can end that cycle if you stop defending yourself with “fat” sympathy.

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57 Steve November 28, 2013 at 6:42 am

Your doctor would not agree with you. Guess what? You can feel that in your heart all you want, but it doesn’t make it true. Maria is boldly speaking out to a nation who suffers from more heart disease than there ever has ever been before. It’s too bad that so many people are too stubborn to even acknowledge that they have a problem. People should be thanking her for addressing the problem now while people still have a chance to change their lifestyle. What she has to say might hurt your feelings, but isn’t that better than the alternative?

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58 Chanel November 30, 2013 at 12:59 am

Did you look at her “fat” pictures Steve? That is what I was addressing.
She was not fat. 145 her max weight, was not fat. She was not fat. Her asking for fat sympathy for never being fat, is like a white person who is asked to do a favor without any gratitude saying they know what being black and therefore slavery is like, arrogant, ignorant, and just plain wrong.

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59 Tallaney November 30, 2013 at 8:17 pm

Maria may not look overweight, but it doesn’t mean that she was healthy either. I’m 150 lbs and short. I’m considered overweight for my height. My doctor just gave me a food shopping list similar to Maria’s. It’s not something I like, but I need to start eating better.

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60 Brooke November 30, 2013 at 5:55 am

How can you define “fat”?? Everyone’s perception of it is different. You can be made to believe ANYTHING if enough people tell you for a long enough time. Maybe Maria doesn’t need the fat sympathy but she went basically through the same things everyone with body image issues has/is gone/going through.

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61 Tau December 5, 2013 at 7:21 am

Health Scientists have calculations to determine whether a person as overweight according to their height, age etc. That’s how it is determined. Now, you trust scientists to develop medication that can cure diseases, but you don’t trust them to determine whether someone is overweight. At the time Maria weighed 150lbs, taking into consideration the factors with which it is calculated, she definitely was overweight. Whether you think so, or not.

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62 ashley November 25, 2013 at 11:36 pm

I think that it takes a lot of balls to criticize people for being fat, when one has never been fat themselves. You have been a personal trainer since you were 20 years old.

If you were obese or fat at some point, worked to say, lose 50 or 100 pounds, I would see you as an inspiration, but to me you are just another person shaming people into feeling worse about themselves instead of doing something to encourage them to do better. I lost 50 lbs through hard work and exercise and look great and am proud of what I’ve accomplished, but I would never say that people shouldn’t be proud of how they look because YOU don’t like what their bodies look like. Just because someone does have a six pack doesn’t mean they aren’t healthy.

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63 Amanda November 26, 2013 at 9:14 pm

Why do people who have been overweight think that always staying slim is easy? I work everyday at maintaining a decent weight, strength and flexibility. I have been doing so my entire life, beginning with the ideals that my parents taught me with regards to eating health and building on them through school and my career in health care. My daily choices are harder or easier than someone who has been overweight. The candy bar still looks tastier to me than an apple, the couch more fun than the gym some nights. I am subjected to the same commercials with steamy pizzas and cheese covered dishes that you are. Just because I never became overweight doesn’t mean I don’t work just as hard. Plus I get the “you don’t need to watch what you eat/ go to the gym, you are already skinny” almost daily. BTW, I’m not skinny. I am 130lbs at 5’5″, which is the upper end of my healthy weight range. But because so many people are overweight or obese, I look thin to them. Please don’t disregard the advice of someone who knows how to maintain a healthy lifestyle. I am sure now that you have lost some weight you will notice that maintaining your healthy lifestyle will be just as hard if not harder.

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64 ashley November 26, 2013 at 11:59 pm

It’s actually not that difficult to maintain. I’ve maintained it for three years now and find maintenance significantly easier than losing. My point was that if she took a different tack she may inspire people instead of making them feel worse. For example, with the “what’s your excuse” photo, if the headline had been, “if I can do it, so can you”, she would have been making a similar point, but done so in an encouraging way.

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65 Molly November 27, 2013 at 7:16 pm

I dont see the difference. Are ppl afraid of the word “excuse”? Will admitting to beeing unmotivated make you loose you face to mutch?

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66 Moonsparkle November 28, 2013 at 1:11 am

I agree Ashley, wording makes a LOT of difference. I personally would have found it more inspiring if it had it been “if I can do it, so can you” because it does come across as more encouraging and friendly, rather than “What’s your excuse?” which I think some people read as “You’re such a loser because you can’t do what I can!” ( Which would be their own interpretation because they probably already weren’t feeling that good about themselves).

I think the intention behind it is good, it’s just the way it came across to some people. They took offence to the way it was worded.

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67 Chanel November 30, 2013 at 1:04 am

Exactly.
Being two inches shorter than Maria, and having been in the 140′s, I can tell you one thing. IT WAS NOT FAT. Was I a size 2? Nope. But I was healthy and chances are she was healthy, other than her psychological issue with her body image.

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68 Aby November 30, 2013 at 6:28 am

I’m 5″2″ and at 138.4lbs I can easily say that I am fat. My BMI is over 24, I feel awful much of the time due to my personal choices to eat poorly and not exercise regularly. I’m not complaining, just stating. Fat is fat and just because Americans are accustomed to obesity does not make it normal or healthy or anything else that fat people say to justify their excuses. Kudos to Maria for making it work. I know people with far more obligations than myself and they regularly work out and choose to eat well. They are not fat. I also know many people with fewer obligations and they CHOOSE to sit and eat poorly. Always a choice. More difficult for some but ALWAYS a conscious decision. (I also don’t feel ashamed, my choices are my own and I would never put them on someone else).

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69 Angel November 30, 2013 at 6:41 pm

I also know people who are thin as sticks eat poorly, and stay thin because of their metabolism. Why aren’t you criticizing them?

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70 Brooke November 30, 2013 at 6:01 am

When does she ever SHAME anyone for being overweight? Tell me where she says one should feel horrible and ashamed for being overweight? Besides that title everyone’s getting their panties in a wad about. If you’re offended research it and her reasoning for using it before you get all flustered over a legit question. If you’re healthy and completely happy with your being “overweight” or “fat” then you shouldn’t be offended. Continue on your plus sized way and ignore her.

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71 Jackie November 30, 2013 at 10:26 am

See everyone! You can be into fitness without being a fat prejudiced jerk! Now that’s inspiring!

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72 Tallaney November 30, 2013 at 8:26 pm

Jackie….I don’t think you should keep calling people fat. That’s not a nice thing to say. I have friends who are overweight and they are sensitive about that word, “FAT.” How ignorant are you?

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73 lybruc December 3, 2013 at 11:01 pm

Call it like it is.The truth hurts but unless it is told, nothing will change.If you are fat and out of shape you are.Unless an individual can admit that they have a problem,that problem cannot be solved.Majority of those women are nothing near the definition of curvy.They are OBESSE and need to take better care of themselves.

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74 Tau December 5, 2013 at 8:10 am

Dear Ashley

Most people who are overweight never want to be told so straight forward, and they always take offense when someone does.

Who told you that the way to loose your extra 50lbs is to eat more healthely and exercise hard???
How did you know that that is the way to go, if not for someone who knows, like Maria???

Why did you decide to loose your extra 50lbs, if you find it so okay to have it anyway??? Why do you keep maintaining it, if you find it so okay to have it anyway??? Why did you not, or don’t you just leave it???

You are proud of what you have achieved, yet, Maria gets slammed for being proud of maintaining her weight and keeping her body in shape. Heavens forbid her from being proud of what she has achieved!!

You speak of phrasing one’s words differently and suggest that Maria should have phrased her words differently so that she may have inspired more than critisize. But have you considered phrasing your own words differently to inspire her to think differently, rather than attacking her???

.

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