December 26, 2012
A few days ago I took a picture of my excess skin. A few months ago I took a shot of my stretch marks. A few years ago I wrote about discovering my first of three pregnancies. Years before that I founded this website in 2005.
I’m literally an open book. I don’t hide much, mainly because I feel like if you’re hiding, you’re scared. If you are scared, then you have something that limits you.
I don’t like limitations.
While I crave control and find comfort being in command, I also know that my clout stops at me. I don’t have pull over how people react to me. I don’t have power over how people receive my writings. I don’t have precedence on anything (not even my children) besides me, myself and I.
Knowing my sincere intentions and knowing my outward limitations made me unapologetic when I wrote the audacious statement, “What’s your Excuse?”
While my intention was never to ask “What’s your Excuse…..for every mother not to look like me,” many perceived it that way – and while I was surprised, I wasn’t shocked by the backlash. I’m not re-hashing this controversy to stir up support, I am revisiting this question because I decided to utilize my online influence to inspire others to take control of their health. In the next few months, many followers will be faced with ‘excuses’ after committing to personal and physical change. They may feel bombarded with work, stressed with finances or tired with kids. Many people will feel lack of support, lack of time and lack of overall resources.
I deliberately typed, “What’s your Excuse?” above my now-infamous picture because of everything you just read – if anyone did due-diligence and discovered this website, they would’ve also discovered I share many of the ‘excuses’ other people are faced with.
On a daily basis I have to plan out when I can exercise. If I don’t prepare meals in advance I overeat at my next meal. Since I’m constantly ‘on the go’, 60% of my meals are eaten in my car and often while running errands. In fact, the only time I can browse Facebook or read the news is when I’m in a bathroom or in a grocery line. I have a very limited budget and even forewent Christmas gifts with my husband because we are constantly saving money. I don’t sleep early because I am usually finishing writing projects or responding to emails after their bedtime. I don’t watch much TV because it clouds my concentration when I’m working or with my sons. Speaking of sons, I am their primary caregiver and am with them most of the time. I cook their meals, play with them and supervise their activities. I also rarely turn on the TV, making my job as a doting mother more massive.
My marriage isn’t perfect. My days are not often smooth and my feelings are not always positive. This is why I write – to show others that it’s okay to question your life, to feel challenging emotions and to detest a part of your physical self. This is why I’ve shown you my battle with bulimia, my fears about death, my ugly face after giving birth and my excess skin because of it.
I’ve always wanted to make a positive difference and help others through the spirit of fitness. It’s not by chance or luck that I’ve made it this far into the lives I influence and it’s not a coincidence that you are reading this right here and right now.
In a couple days I will unveil the rules, steps and stages I used when regaining my physique after disordered eating and childbirth. I hope you will join me.
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