September 4, 2007

Hope y’all had an awesome Labor Day weekend! After some invitations to Vegas and Frisco, I decided to go to a Christian Conference down in LA! I will update my journal by Thursday! In the meantime, late Sat. night I posted a fun list: ‘103 things you didn’t know about me’
since self exploration and public revelation has been an everlasting joint topic of mine.

I also ask that you keep Ruth Putney in your prayers. She passed away on Sunday.

Here is 103 things you don’t know about Maria Kang:

1. I spend a lot of time in solitude.
2. I have a voracious appetite for knowledge and an unending quest for truth.
3. I have a very simplistic way of living often needing only water, salad and
   running shoes to be extremely happy.
4. I love gazing at the sky and always look up when exiting my car every
   evening.
5. I am drawn to people of depth. Those are people who have a testimony as to
   why they exist today.
6. I cried often as a child and fondly remember holding onto my mothers car
   tires and legs when she dropped me off to preschool.
7. My biggest fear was death and asked myself “why was I born” at the
   age of 4.
8. In my youth, I had mild anxiety attacks when I thought about life and used an
   invisible glass of holy water (which I pretended to drink after I prayed)
   which helped me sleep and overcome my anxiousness.
9. As the eldest of 3 girls and a big fan of “the Brady Bunch”, I highly resonated with Marcia Brady as a kid.
10. After my mother told me she didnt have time to make lunch for work, beginning
    at age 12, I committed to waking her up each morning at 5am to iron her
    clothes, cook her breakfast and pack her lunch for four years.
11. My favorite show as a child was Little House on the Prairie.
12. I often made cleaning lists with 100 action items as a child and cleaned the
    house sometimes until 2am.
13. I was the only one amongst my siblings who had a phone in her room growing
    up, but I never used it.
14. I was extremely disliked/liked in high school.
15. I won my first beauty pageant when I was 16 and was disliked even more by my
    peers.
16. I often read in the library during lunch and found that my aloofness was often
    misconstrued as conceitedness.
17. I often befriended peers in several different groups and found that my
    friendliness was often mistaken as fakeness.
18. I disciplined my eating at a young age. In high school, I proudly carried a
    lunch box each day and ate the same lunch meal: bottled water, 10 fat free
    saltine crackers, and wheat bread, with one slice of turkey with lettuce,
    no mayo, no cheese and fruit.
19. I met, danced and became infatuated with 2 boys at my first high school
    dance. One was a handsome soccer player, another was a guy I didn’t find
    initially attractive. While I wanted (and knew) the soccer player was
    going to ask me to the homecoming dance, the other guy asked first.
    Morally, I knew I should accept (and did accept) the first proposal soon
    after he became my first boyfriend and while peers nicknamed us beauty
    and the beast, for the 13 months we dated, he became the most handsomest
    man alive. I never did have the same opportunity to date that soccer
    player ever again.
20. I don’t have many regrets, but I do wish I had not lost my virginity when I
    was most insecure with myself to my 2nd boyfriend.
21. While I’ve had many relationships, I have only truly loved 2 men: Paul and
    Erick.
22. I loved Paul and Erick most because they were the most difficult to love.
23. I do not date. (This means, there was a natural, organic commitment that was
    planted from the very beginning of our connection.)
24. I’ve never kissed a stranger.
25. 97% of my relationships have all been long term. (one year plus)
26. My sisters and I have been co-dependent on romantic relationships since our
    teenage years. I broke that spell after Paul.
27. One of my biggest lessons in romantic relationships is that the hardest part
    of breaking up is letting go of the idea that person symbolized. Most
    often, especially towards the end, I was ‘in love’ with an idea and not
    the person.
28. I’ve never experienced ‘love at first sight’ and am skeptical if that exists.
29. It is fair to say I drink a glass of red wine 1x/week, and get mildy drunk
    1x/year.
30. I claim a big personal space and dislike being touched by anyone but my
    loved ones.
31. I was elected school president, a published writer and an oral language fair
    winner at age 11.
32. I was a beauty queen, a cheerleader, a college graduate, a world traveler, a
    fitness competitor, and a manager before the age of 22.
33. Most of my youth was spent in solitude and reflection, especially during early
    mornings and late evenings.
34. I felt my first euphoric experience with grace when driving home alone from
    LA in November 2003.
35. When I felt Gods loving presence in my life I wrote, cried and smiled for
    days.
36. I purged for the first time on my 23rd birthday, which fully consummated my
    first of many years battling with bulimia.
37. I firmly believe bulimia and any other form of addiction is a demonic act
    and a spiritual battle.
38. I believe the moment I gave my life up to Christ, was the same moment I was
    challenged to uphold that faith.
39. I am very traditional.
40. I want 7 kids. (this includes adoptive kids)
41. I envision marrying a man who is a community leader, a social activist, a
    moral role model and who fights/writes/speaks/lives with a fire in his
    belly.
42. If my husband were to die before me, I would consider becoming a nun (after
    my kids are young adults) and devote my life to Christ and the service of
    others. If this were to happen, no one in my family would be surprised.
43. My favorite time of the year is Christmas, but I sing Tiger baby all year
    long to my dog. (it has the same rhythm as Santa Baby)
44. I bake dozens of cookies each holiday season and give them to family and
    friends.
45. I have a tendency of being late. Even when I attempt being really early, the
    universe makes me late or lost.I swear!
46. I am clumsy and often fall once/day when I twist my ankle while walking.
47. I don’t get jokes easily and will often laugh 10 minutes after the joke was
    told.
48. I love to dance and could’ve easily been one of those soul train dancers on
    tv
49. I hate it when people stare at me, which is why I never made a really good
    beauty queen.
50. I’ve painted my toe nails since 7th grade and have not seen my actual nail bed
    color since then.
51. I take many calculated risks in life because of one reason: Love. I have
    faith in my holy intuition and know I am prepared at any moment to die.
52. I don’t wear deodorant and rarely shave my legs, wear perfume or smelly
    lotions.
53. My two biggest food vices are Brownies and Bread.
54. The two greatest gifts my parents gave me were: Life and My Christian Faith.
55. While I have an athletic build, I am not really an athlete. I never played a
    sport because I was scared (and am still scared) of objects being thrown
    at me. I was (and still am to a certain degree) very shy amongst groups of
    aggressive people.
56. I consider myself a very good personal trainer (I was a trainer from
    2000-2002) not because I know where the bone of each muscle inserts. I’m
    good because I have a passion to help the other person understand their
    unique body and their unique abilities. I’m also a disciplined educator, a
    good listener and loud drill sergeant with a big smile.
57. I excel at sales and had a full clientele after 2 weeks as a new personal
    trainer at 20.
58. As a fitness manager, in 2 months I tripled the gross of the service
    department by hiring, firing and re-creating a new fitness philosophy
    within the company. I was 22.
59. I was offered my job at 24 hour fitness corporate headquarters by
    photocopying anything written about me, writing a strong cover letter and
    resume and sending the portfolio directly to the CEO.
60. My favorite poem to recite is Phenomenal Woman by Maya Angelou.
61. My middle name is Chinese and means Beautiful Goddess in translation.
62. I don’t watch movies often. But when I do, I usually watch a documentary, a
    dramatic screenplay, or movie tributes to Saints.
63. Since I was young, I’ve always wanted to name all of my children Saint Names. I
    was named after Mother Mary.
64. I usually go to fitness/business/spiritual/religious conventions by myself.
65. I go to lectures/conventions/meetings at least once/month.
66. I sucked my thumb until I was in 4th grade.
67. I bit my toe nails until 6th grade.
68. 95% of the time, I cut my own hair.
69. I am extroverted but also extremely introverted. I am more shy than people
    realize.
70. I’m very independent and need a lot of room to roam.
71. When I’ve competed in the past, one of my biggest advantages was the ability to
    have laser beam focus on myself and my preparations. Most often in
    contests, (and in life) others get distracted by things/people outside
    themselves, which makes them unconsciously lose focus on themselves. I also
    have a knack for ‘killing the competition’ once I get into the top 3 and
    excel in the question & answer portion.
72. I’m not cocky when I compete but I am confident. I like coming in knowing
    there was absolutely not one more cardio session I could’ve performed, not
    one more thing I would’ve bought or one more prayer I should’ve said in
    order to bring my best package onstage.
73. I only do well in subjective sports. 
74. I love flowers but have a hard time receiving them. (and I’m known for
    putting them in my hair)
75. In traveling amongst strangers, I realize that my smile opens doors.
76. When deepening a relationship with another being, Ive noticed that my eyes
    transmit trust.
77. After years of understanding why people are drawn to be my friend, my client, my
    colleague, etc…I know deep down that my internal/external beauty attracts
    people.
78. The biggest comment I get from others is that my words inspire.
79. A big personal hope of mine is to always house a peaceful presence.
80. I have friends who all serve different purposes. Their purposes are
    dependent upon their spiritual gifts.
81. As a friend, people come to me when they need more perspective on their life
    situation and want a candid and truthful observation. Like any
    relationship that demands growth, our friendships takes work, for I’ve
    been in serious debate with all of them at one point.
82. I hardly see my friends. There is no one I hang out with on a consistent
    basis. My real quality time with friends involve deep discussions only
    once every 2-3 months.
83. I absolutely love being in the arms of a man I love. My favorite moments is
    waking up knowing that there is a loving presence who exists for me in
    this world.
84. All the men I’ve dated physically trained just as hard, or harder than me. If
    an interested man doesn’t work out, eat well or have ambition, they are
    usually not in my perphiral vision.
85. I love kissing dog noses.
86. I am often mistaken as the youngest child because I look young, I smile the
    most and I’m more ‘child-like’ than my other siblings.
87. My favorite time to read is when I sleep in on Sunday mornings in bed.
88. I am a night owl and an early bird.
89. I want to teach my future sons how to treat a woman and teach my future
    daughters how to be a woman.
90. I didn’t know what it meant to be a woman until I was 26.
91. I am excited to be reunited with God when I die one day.
92. I cant recall a time in my life when I didnt have an elderly friend/mentor
    in my life.
93. When I sleep I sometimes grind my teeth, lightly snore and place my arms
    overhead like a baby.
94. When I’m depressed, I only feel alive at night.
95. I wrap most of my gifts to others in comic sections of the newspaper and
    randomly send hand written cards to my friends.
96. I often mix-match my wardrobe to amuse myself. No one ever says anything to
    me.
97. I wear a baseball hat at the gym because it hides my eyes.
98. My favorite outfit to wear is a white summer dress.
99. I never leave the house without a water bottle and purposely often forget my
    cell phone.
100. I don’t dream of a great wedding, I dream of a great marriage.
101. When I write my weekly inspirational journals, I don’t know what inspires meI
     just write and allow a loving energy work through me.
102. I have never considered myself a good writer.
103. Today I know for certain that in order to live a more full and peaceful
     existence, you must submit yourself to a greater power. You can call it
     Buddha, Allah, God – I call him Jesus.

We are all born with spiritual gifts, with a calling and a purpose. Fame, money, success all of that will not fill whatever you are seeking to satiate your soul. I know because Ive sought those
things and I still felt empty. As I continue my list of revelations of who I am, I know it will continue to change as long as I progress in my journey towards divinity.

Who are you? Write it down.

Write down what you believe in what you want…what you need…and ask yourself why: Why??

Ask Why You? Why do I exist? Why do I believe?
Why do I desire?  When you figure out the whys in your life…the how you should live your life, how you should treat others, how you should journey on will be revealed to you.

Thank you for reading and God Bless You.